Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I love to kiss

You're an Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Thanks for the idea Mel

Friday, December 23, 2005

Christmas Questionaire

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
He wraps some of the presents on the years I have the kids overnight on Christmas Eve.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?
Colored, although sometimes white is nice

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
I will if I ever have a girlfriend at Christmas time (or someone over that I am really interested in)

5. When do you put your decorations up?
First week of December if the weather is nice. I try to do all the inside and outside stuff all in one weekend

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert?)
The turkey is the best

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child?
Sledding down the hill behind the Madison Heights Public Library

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I don't remember how old I was, but I found out when I discovered presents stored in a linen closet for me and my brother from Santa. I'm not even sure it was December yet.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
My parents caved into our insisting on opening one gift on Christmas Eve. My ex's family opens all their family (non-Santa) gifts on Christmas Eve. So my kids get to open half of their gifts on Christmas Eve with her family, then half in the morning with my family.

10. What kind of cookies does Santa get set out for him?
He usually gets one of each kind. But I think Santa's favorite is Buckeyes

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
I love it, but we don't get enought here in Colorado Springs. Once in a while we get a good dump, but it is only once or twice a year, but it's gone in just a few days.

12. Can you ice skate?
I used to. Growing up in Michigan the fire department would clear a big field across the street from my house and pump water into it. That was so awesome. Most of the places to ice skate in Colorado Springs are indoors, which I think takes half the fun away from it.

13. What is your most memorable gift?
An old bike

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Spending time with my family

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?
Oh God, what isn't.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
Playing board games and telling nestolgic tales of our past.

17. What tops your tree?
Usually a moving Bugs Bunny holding a lantern

18. Which do you prefer - Gift-Giving or Receiving?
I prefer to give, but I hate shopping

19. What is your favorite Christmas Carol?
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?
No real opinion

Merry Christmas to all my friends

It has been quit a year, hasn't it?

I have not quite been blogging for a year and I have met some really great friends here. You have made me laugh, think, worry, cry and get horny. I wouldn't want it any other way.

I want to thank you all for your friendship and advice.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

You know what's cool? He's not my boss!

I think it really bugs Doug that I don't have to report directly to anyone at the office. I think that makes him think the if I am not being watched then I am not doing my job.

I do have a lot of respect for the guy. He is on top of what is going on with the product technically. I just don't think he has a grasp for what it takes to do my job. That bothers him. I think it also bothers him that sometimes I hang out with some of the developers and chit-chat. He is not the manager of these developers either so maybe that burns him a little.

Doug is not my boss. He never has been. He had an agreement with my former manager, Brian, that he would be a "dotted-line" manager to me. When I was hired I took this as meaning if I needed management support for something I could go to him. That seems to have morphed in Doug's mind as meaning he has some authority over what I do. That is far from the case, even more so now.

Reporting to Brian was pretty cool. He knew that my being remote to him was going to be a bit strange, but it worked. I respected him and worked very hard to make sure he was glad he hired me. I have received nothing but praise from him. Due to changes within my company I now report to a different manager. I thought reporting to someone that had his office 90 miles away was remote. My new manager, Gregor, is in Scotland.

From what I understand he is a good guy. Get's us what we need, but also lets us self direct how we do things. The guys that came to visit from Scotland talked a little shit about Gregor. Not because of what he does. They were referring how he doesn't communicate with his people. Barrie told me I should call him and introduce myself. I didn't want to come off as being some kind of suck up. I didn't call.

I heard of the news about the re-org weeks before I ever made contact with Gregor. I was kind of waiting for either Brian or him to tell me. Brian finally confirmed the rumor a number of weeks ago. I still heard nothing from Gregor. I finally broke down and contacted him via e-mail when I heard we needed to start getting ready for our performance reviews. I sent the e-mail to both Gregor and Brian. Gregor finally responded and was nice about how we would proceed. I still haven't talked to him on the phone.

Doug had asked me if I had talked to Gregor about the "dotted-line" agreement that he had with Brian. I told him, "No, I haven't", and left it at that.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Let's Amputate!

Sorry for the short absence. I had the boys this week, and work has been an absolute bitch (or was it Doug at work being the bitch... I did feel like slapping him).

We are approaching a release of our software and of course that brings on a rush of changes at the last minute. All I have to do is build it and send it to manufacturing, but some of the things that I automated need to be done manually now. Release time is always stressful. Some things have not been done in anticipation of this release and Doug (the tool) was trying to blame me. "Didn't you say you were going to handle that?".

I have heard that same comment about 3 different things this week. He has taken over as the Release Manager because the previous guy, Brad, took a new job on a different project. Brad was awesome, and always showed his appreciation for my hard work. For some reason I get the feeling that Doug doesn't think I do enough. He is probably projecting this since his responsibilities have doubled recently (so has his bad attitude).

Kevin, my 13 year old, was complaining about his arm hurting on Wednesday. Typically this can be attributed to growing pains or maybe he hurt it. I asked him if he had hurt it somehow. He said no. I told him to think really hard if maybe he hit it on something or was lifting anything heavy. He just shook his head. Then on Thursday he calls me from the school office saying that his arm won't stop hurting. I asked him to go back to class and keep it propped up. Hopefully resting it would help.

I was out to lunch with a couple guys from the office when he called back. I didn't drive, so he was going to have to wait. I told Kev to contact the rest of his teachers and get the homework assignments for the night. My friend Dan said it sounded like he might have a hyper-extension. I got back to my desk, sent out a message to the whole project that I had to leave to get my son from school and that I would be working from home. I took my laptop and headed out the door.

I tried to call the doctors office to see if they could fit him in. They were out to lunch, so I had to call back later. I got Kevin from the nurses office. While I was signing him out I noticed a very pretty lady picking up her incredibly cute daughter. Kevin caught me looking. He told me that she is in his math class, and they were the ones he pointed out to me when we were out to dineer earlier in the week. I'm thinking Kevin likes this girl. She is going to be dangerous in just a few years. I am going to need help... Yikes!

We got home and I took a closer look at Kevin's arm. It was definitely muscular. I asked him again if he could remember doing anything to it. He said the only thing different was that in his science class the other day they had to life an 8 pound dumbbell because they were studying muscles and how they work. Kevin is a strong kid. Eight pounds is nothing to him. I didn't think that could have done it, but it was good info to pass on to the doc.

I connected up to work since it wasn't time for the doc's office to be back from lunch. This is when I was reminded that I had a meeting scheduled. I sent a note to those involved to make sure they knew where I was. Stewart asked if I could call in. They needed me in a discussion about some database changes. UGH! I was getting scatter brained. I told him I was trying to get Kevin into the doctors office. He decided we could put off the meeting until the morning. Wow, a rational manager, thank you.

I got ahold of Kevin's doctor's office. They could get us in right away. I found a sling we had from when Kevin broke his arm and strapped him in.

We got to the office and saw a few people ahead of us. We sat down for just a minute before they called us in. I was expecting to have another long wait in the exam room. Just 2 minutes later a nurse practitioner come in. Nice guy, but he needs a hair cut. Maybe it's just me, but I like for professional people that I have to pay a shit load of money to be well groomed. Anyway, we started talking about the problem while he was checking out Kevin's range of motion. He asked Kevin what he might have done to hurt it...

Now why is it that my own son can not tell me the full story, but a perfect stranger he can give all the necessary details. Kevin went into how in his science class they were learning about muscles. He described the weight that they were lifting. The he descided that maybe it was important to provide the crucial fact that he and his friends then had a competition to see how many times in one minute they could curl that dumbbell.

I just put my hand over my mouth rolled my eyes to the back of my head and held back the laughter. The NP (or is it CNP?) and I finally both broke out in laughter when Kevin said he was able to do it 54 times in a minute. Kevin then got some extra credit information from this guy about lactic acid in the muscles.

I was totally embarrassed to have had to go in for that, but I laughed about it all the way home.

Oooh and guess what? I ordered and received an HD Satellite receiver. Woohoo!

I've been busy all day mucking out a closet, cleaning, and doing laundry in preparation for my family coming in for Christmas. I need a massage and a vacation.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Three Things

I copped this from Grace who got it from Abeni.

3 screen names I have:
1. Shankbone
2. LHarvey
3. JonnyX64

3 physical things I like about myself:
1. My sense of humor
2. my eyes (just because women seem to like them)
3. My hair (I'm not losing it like my brothers... knock on wood)

3 physical things I don't like about myself:
1. My weight (just 10 or 15 pounds and I would be happy)
2. The hair on my back (grosses out some women)
3. My ass, or lack there of

3 parts of my heritage:
1. French
2. Irish
3. Scottish

3 of my everyday essentials:
1. Food, hence the weight issue
2. The net
3. Family/friends

3 of my favorite musicians:
1. Goo Goo Dolls
2. Train
3. The Beatles

3 of my favorite songs:
This is impossible, so here are a few long time favs
1. If You Could Only See - Tonic
2. You Better Be Home Soon - Crowded House
3. Driving With The Breaks On - Del Amitri

3 things I want in a relationship:
1. Humor
2. Loyalty
3. Passion

3 lies:
1. I hate giving/receiving oral sex
2. I miss being married to my ex
3. Reality shows are the best

3 of my hobbies right now:
1. Blogging
2. Building computers
3. Playing Battlefield 2

3 things I want to do really badly now (with a special someone):
1. Relax
2. Take a trip to a warm climate
3. Kiss, deeply

3 careers I've considered doing:
1. Massage Therapist
2. Software Engineer
3. Computer Networking

3 places I would like to go on vacation to:
1. Australia
2. Europe
3. Fiji

3 kid's names I like:
1. Ryan
2. Tara
3. Michelle

3 ways that I'm a stereotypical guy/girl:
1. "Pull my finger!"
2. No chick flicks (unless you promise sex afterwards)
3. I have a hard time understanding women

3 people I would like to see take this quiz:
Whoever wants to

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Meltdown in Michigan

I just saw my neice Kati (Paula's daughter) last weekend when back in Michigan. She seemed to be doing very well. She only had 2 weeks left in her semester at college (small college in Wisconsin), then she was coming out here with her dad for Christmas. She was going to take next semester off, then go to U of M next year.

Here is some background on Kati.

Kati took the train back to college, but missed the connecting bus in Chicago because the train was late. The meltdown ensues.

She went back to Ann Arbor, deciding to just let her grades come without finishing the semester work. She is really depressed. It has been a hell of a year for her. More than many of us could handle. I am not surprised by all of this, but just wish the timing was a little better.

John went out with a friend of the family last night, inviting Kati to go along. When John returned he found Kati on the floor, hovering over a bunch of pills. Some were cold medicine and some were an antidepressant. She told him she took 5 of each.

Nothing life threatening, but clearly a plee for help. John took her to the ER. Now she is in a psych ward. This scares the hell out of me, but I think it is very short term. I imagine the anti-depressants are making her head spin.

When one of my family hurts, I hurt.

Friday, December 09, 2005

What Leading Man Am I

I'm not sure why there is all this blank space...

Cary Grant
You scored 19% Tough, 9% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 42% Charming!
You are the epitome of charm and style, the smooth operator who steals the show with your sophisticated wit and quiet confidence. You are able to catch any woman you want just by flashing that disarming smile. When you walk into a room, the women are instantly intrigued and even the men are impressed. When you find yourself in trouble, you are easily able to charm your way out of it, or convince others to help you. You're seen as dashing, suave and romantic. Your co-stars include Katharine Hepburn, Irene Dunne, and Joan Fontaine, stylish women who know a class act when they see it.

Find out what kind of classic dame you'd make by taking the Classic Dames Test.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 30% on Tough

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 21% on Roguish

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 51% on Friendly

free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 77% on Charming
Link: The Classic Leading Man Test written by gidgetgoes on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Thursday, December 08, 2005


I was just rummaging through some old pics and found these. I am going to break the rules and post from a couple years ago.

Yes, I was in a drunken and stoned stooper. How much more naked can you be in this condition. I don't get high often, but it was for a good occasion.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Party On!

I was hoping that Patti would not get clued into the surprise we had instore for her. The planning for this party started back in March. We were really worried about my mom spilling the beans over the last 7+ months.

Mike and mom were going to spend the night at my house since I live closest to the airport and our flight was at 6:00 in the morning. I went down to Pueblo Friday night to get mom. Mom and I sat around for a few minutes before getting ready to come back up to my house. Right when we were getting ready to leave her house the phone rang. It was Patti calling to say hi. I waved mom off, mouthing that I wasn't there. She understood and didn't spill the beans. She did say something about coming up here to do some Christmas shopping. That was a mistake. Mom doesn't drive more than 5 miles EVER. It confused Patti, but she didn't question it too much.

Mike was going to spend the night at my house, but he was working at the bar. He said he would be there around midnight. Mom went to bed around 10. I fell asleep on the couch around midnight waiting for Mike to arrive. I woke up when he walked through the door... at 2:30. This was 1 hour before I was planning on getting up for a pre-flight shower. I went to bed and turned up my alarm. I think I tossed and turned for 45 minutes before I fell asleep again, then the music came blaring. DAMN IT!

I got in the shower then started waking people up. Mom was pretty easy. Mike was really tough. I know it sucked just having about an hour and a half of sleep, but we needed to get moving. Then I realized that we got about 3 inches of snow overnight. We ended up leaving about 20 minutes later than I was comfortable. We were a little late getting to our gate, but we made it.

Then we waited... and waited. We needed de-icing. I knew this was going to be pushing our 50 minute layover in Chicago. We made up some time due to a tail wind but we ended up only having 30 minutes to get from O'Hare's concourse F to concourse C. Mom is 77 years old. We asked for a wheelchair at our stops, apparently they didn't get that memo. We asked how long it was going to be... too long, and running was out of the question. We got direction to the concourse shuttle and got there as fast as we could. When we got to concourse C I ran ahead to have them hold the gate. We made it with just a couple minutes to spare.

Off we went to Ann Arbor, had some homemade pizza compliments of my brother-in-law John. My niece Kati was there too. She seemed to be in great spirits. Last time I saw her was last Christmas, a few weeks after she lost her mother and I lost my sister. It was really good to see her.

We loaded up and headed to the party in Farmington Hills. We arrived and barely knew everyone, but they all knew us. Most of the people there were from Patti's dance troupe The Madame Cadillac Dance Theatre (yes, that's my sister in the top pic and the middle of the bottom pic). I had met a couple of them when they came to Paula's memorial last year.

Everyone not associated with the dance company were to hide in the bedrooms and not come out until Patti was in the living room. We totally shocked the hell out of her, then jumped right into singing Happy Birthday. Knowing my sister I was expecting her to cry a bit, but I think she was even too shocked for tears. It's a good thing heart trouble doesn't run in our family. She freaked out for a good 15 minutes about the whole thing before settling down.

We then nibbled on a number of different things that people had prepared. The main things were salmon, roast beef, fake crab meat, Vienna sausages, and an assortment of breads, cheeses, and veggies.

As we were eating the jazz trio was setting up. I can't remember the name of this group, but I guess they are fairly well know in the southern Michigan jazz circles. They were absolutely incredible. They mostly played as 2 guitars and a cello (yes, a jazz cello), but sometimes one of the guitar players would whip out his clarinet. They really blew me away. There was lots of dancing. What would you expect from a dance company? Although I can play the hell out of swing I have not learned how to dance to it. My sister and her friends really went to it. I was thoroughly impressed.

We all hung out and told stories for a bit and eventually it was time to head back to Ann Arbor. It started snowing during the party, so by the time we left there was a few inches on the ground. I stayed awake to help keep Billy awake while he drove.

We slept in the next morning (MUCH needed). Patti and Bruce came by around noon. Bruce unfortunately had to leave early to go to his daughter's concert at her college in Kalamazoo. He left Patti behind to visit with us.

When you get all of us Shanks' around a table it can sure get loud, but it is also extremely funny.

Unfortunately, I did not find time to meet a Blogger friend of mine while I was there. We didn't coordinate our schedules prior to my departure.

We didn't get to do the bonfire for Paula, but maybe we will do one at Christmas.

Friday, December 02, 2005

It's been a year since...

This has been a difficult year. My sister Paula died this day last year suddenly from a very strange medical disorder. This falling one day after my other sister Patti's birthday and 2 days after mine. A time of year that we are supposed to be celebrating is now scarred by our loss.

We're leaving in the morning to go to Michigan for my sister Patti's surprise birthday party (gee, I hope she doesn't search through blogger). I am hoping for some good weather. I am thinking we need to have a bonfire Sunday night for Paula.

I am hoping to get together with a friend of mine that lives near Ann Arbor, but you never know what may get in the way with a big family trip.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Operator, this is an emergency!!!!

A couple of guys that work in our Scotland office came in today for 2 days of assessing how our systems are configured and to see if they can help me with some bizarre problems we are having that tech support cannot help with. I escorted them to our area and showed them around a bit. I left them to get their laptops booted up and check e-mail and started on my problem of the hour. A minute later Barrie and Alan were in my cube presenting me with a bottle of 12 year old Scotch and a box of shortbread. Awesome! I have never met these guys in person before. I was really shocked.

Not only was I running around with my normal duties and meetings all day, but I was catering to them, answering questions and demonstrating how we do things. It was a really tiring day. We worked later than I normally work, but we were really making progress on identifying a database problem I am having. Last week when they were still planning this trip invited me out to dinner for tonight. I have the kids this week, but tonight is the night my ex was taking the boys to dinner. PERFECT!

We went to one of my favorite restaurants downtown. Barrie wanted to sample all of the beers that they brew. There were only 2 of the 10 he didn't care for. We all ordered the same meal, the chef's ribeye special for the night. The waiter thought that they might be out so he went right back and checked. They were out, but the chef decided that since we all wanted it he would make up some more special. DAMN IT WAS GOOD!!!!

I came home and watched a couple episodes of Firefly with my kids, then my brother called laughing his ass off. He just got a new puppy last week and apparently the pup got a hold of the cordless phone. Mike heard the sound of the buttons being pressed, quickly yelled "NOOO, NOOO!" and grabbed the phone from Penalope (don't ask). A minute later his phone rang. Apparently the dog had dialed 911, the operator answered and heard my brother yell "NOOO, NOOO!" before getting hung up on. Of course she dispatched police to his house right away (standard policy for any hang ups to 911).Mike explained the situation to the 911 operator which made her howl.

The police arrived rather quickly. Mike again explained what happened. The cops laughed and wanted to see the dog that could dial 911. They checked out the rest of the house of course before laughing their way back to the squad car.

I laughed so hard I got a headache.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Stupid people tricks

I found this link on Jazz's blog. I was way too entertained by it.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

On-line Dating Experiences - E-Personality Disorder

I haven't been a paying member of any of the on-line personals websites since around November of last year I think it was. I was on at that time, but I have also been a member on Yahoo Personals, E-Harmony,, a little known site called Love Access, and way back when I first went back to dating I was on

I tried e-Harmony a while back. I did the full blown "interrogation" that they put you through. I was very honest in all of my answers. It was actually really accurate as far as its evaluation of me.

I have heard of people only getting matched with 2 or 3 people over months of time on there, so I wasn't expecting much. I was surprised that I was being matched with 1 or 2 women a week.
My problem with this site was that I was matched with a bunch of women that lied on their "tests".

I kept thinking "How can they be stating that they have such a great system". I decided to just throw caution to the wind and actually meet someone from there.

I got to see some pictures of her so I knew she was decent looking. I talked to her on the phone a few times. She seemed nice during the first call... kind of nervous, but during a second call she was kind of flirty. She made a reference to sex toys. I was thinking to myself "Is this the same person?"

I was working in Denver at the time, actually very near where she lived, so we met for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. She was pretty freaked out about me seeing her. She was a little heavier than I expected, but not so bad that it would have turned me off. She just seemed very embarrassed and guarded about what she was saying.

While eating we talked, but not a lot. Near the end of the meal she opened up a bit more. It started feeling a bit more at ease for both of us. Then all of a sudden she started talking about her arsenal of sex toys and that she wanted to get a sex swing. I'm not sure, but I think my jaw literally hit the table.

This woman may have had a split personality. It's the only thing that would explain the flip flop. I told her about a friend of mine that does the home sex toy parties. I told her I would hook her up if she wanted.

When we were done we were walking out the restaurant and she flipped again and got all shy again.

This woman had me worried. I called her the next day to tell her it wasn't going to work. That was the last E-Harmony date I went on. After that things dried up oon that site.

That site is very expensive, but if the quality aproach would have worked instead of the quantity like the other sites it would have been worth it.

I don't think I'll be going back to that site.

Monday, November 21, 2005

It's Over... What's Next

Well most of you will be glad to know that I am not seeing Rayette anymore. Big shock, I know. I had enough and had to end it. This past weekend just capped it off, then we had a big argument last night.

Part of me is sad, but part of me is also relieved that I don't need to agonize over it any longer. I know I let it go on longer than anyone would have expected. I had hopes.

Time to focus on the next couple weeks. We have Thanksgiving, then Kevin's birthday, then someone else's birthday that shall remain nameless, my sister's birthday which I am flying to Michigan for.

Then the Christmas shopping onslaught. yippee!

I was over at my brother's house yesterday checking out the Bronco game in High Definition. I am so getting that after Christmas. He also has a new puppy from some friends of his. It's a yellow lab. He is planning on some serious training. Actually I think he may need as much training as the dog. I forgot to take the camera. I'll get some pictures on turkey day and post them.

Men Belong on the STREET side

Chrissie had asked the question about if there is a proper side that a man is supposed to stand on when walking with his woman down the street. All the guys that had a clue knew that the guy walks on the street side. This mannerism started probably hundreds of years ago to keep a woman's dress from getting soiled by passing carriages and eventually cars driving by. My mother had told me about this when I was in my teens. I remember a few times consciously getting on the correct side when I was younger, but I guess it eventually became a perfectly natural thing to do. I didn't really think about it that much.

The discussion reminded me of a woman I used to date.

Tammy and I met through an on-line personals site (no, it wasn't Adult Friend Finders). She seemed very sweet from the conversations we had. It always started out through e-mail, then eventually phone calls. There was one problem, she lived a 5 hour drive away. She was in Colorado... barely. She owned a shop in a small tourist town in southern Colorado.

She had mentioned that she was thinking about moving to Colorado Springs or Denver to see if her shop could do better. I told her about some great places a shop like hers could do very well
here in the Colorado Springs area. She was going to be coming through "The Springs" on her way to a show in Denver and asked me out. I thought that was very cool that she just came out and asked me for a date. A few weeks before we met she explained to me that she was born with a deformed arm. My immediate reaction was a slight cringe, but I really liked everything about her, I wanted to meet her. She decided that she would get a hotel room here in town.

We met at a nice restaurant for dinner downtown. She was even more beautiful that her pictures. The arm took a little getting used to. We decided to go to a little club nearby to see if a decent band was playing. Nobody that was any good. I asked if she just wanted to sit and have a drink at a fairly quiet bar (which happens to be the one my brother manages).

In walking her to the bar I started on her left side because it was the side closest to the street. She told me I needed to switch sides. I looked at her like "what are you talking about?". Well that was the side with her short arm and she wanted to hold my arm while walking. I was totally embarrassed.

I was so used to standing on the street side that I kept having to do this dance around her to get on the correct side for her to hold my arm. It became a big joke between us.

It really amazed me how growing up this way totally made it not any kind of a handicap. Here business was a little craft store that sold nothing but bear knick knacks (Teddy Bears, bear signs for the walls, lamps, carvings, etc). The most amazing thing about it all was her Teddy Bears. She made them all, by hand. Yes, I said it, by hand. We dated for about a month. During that time I spent the weekend with her and saw her make one of her bears. I was amazed just watching her.

She is a really great lady, but unfortunately we didn't continue on with our relatinship.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Behind The Fool

Don't tell her that you want her
Don't ask her to be yours
Don't tell her she is everything

Or she might see the fool behind the frown
And then the heart behind the fool

Don't tell her that you need her
Don't tell her that you care
Don't ask her to hold you

Or she might see the fool behind the frown
And then the heart behind the fool

Behind the cool, there's a dreading that
Someday she'll betray you
Someday she will dispose of
All her photographs of you

So don't tell her when you're lonely
Don't tell her when you're blue
Don't tell her she means everything to you

So don't tell her that you need her
Don't tell her that you care
Don't ask her to hold you

Or she might see the fool behind the frown
And then the heart behind the fool

By Del Amitri

Personality Type

I am shocked that Chrissie and I are in the same type

Jon, your love personality type is ENTJ
About 3-5% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.

Being an ENTJ means that you've got a bit of a rebellious streak in you. So rather than being the kind who follows, you'll usually choose to lead the pack. You also appear to love a challenge more than most others do. So if somebody wants something done, all they have to do is tell you that it's impossible. You're apt to show them then and there how you can make it happen. You're not one to be easily discouraged in any aspect of your life. So if someone catches your eye, you'll likely find a way to get to know them come hell or high water. You're not just a dreamer. You're a doer.

In relationships, you usually have a clear sense of where you want things to lead. You also know how to take charge of a situation to help things go your way. You can exude a personal strength and confidence that really wins people over. Your friendly, outgoing nature also makes most people quite happy to follow your lead. Perhaps they're empowered or inspired by your self-esteem and can-do thinking.



Wednesday, November 16, 2005

HNT Already?

Holy shit it seems like this is almost a daily event. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing all the skin that you ladies are willing to show. I just have such a hard time coming up with something that is either creative or minimally entertaining. I am trying to not freak anybody out. I feel like I'm letting some of you down.

Tagged Again!

Rules are as follows: Remove the blog at No. 1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog's name in the #5 spot;

1. The Ex-Girlfriend Project
1. Beauty in the Breakdown
2. Oh So Wonderful
3. DZER’s Diatribe
4. Blog By Force
5. Kick In The Pants

Next: select five new friends at random to add to the pollen count. (No one is obligated to participate and anyone can play if they want to).

1. Mel
2. Ava
3. Avery
4. Stacy
5. Steph

What were you doing ten years ago?

Nov 1995 I was married with one of my kids here. I was working on a horrible government contract as the Configuration Management Supervisor. I hated that place so much. My ex and I had just finished some marriage counseling and were talking about buying a new house.

What were you doing one year ago?
Nov 2004… I was working in Englewood, commuting 1+ hour each way. I was just about to start dating Laura. She and I had been good friends for a couple years, then this time last year she wanted to try changing our relationship. I was reluctant because I wasn't sure I wanted to go there and possibly ruin our friendship. Guess what... it ruined the relationship. I haven't talked to her since February.

What were you doing yesterday?
I went to work while my kids had a snow day from school. I paid bills and did laundry when I got home. I threw a Stouffers Chicken Enchilada family "troff" in for dinner. Pretty exciting day, huh?

Five snacks you enjoy
1. Nachos
2. Popcorn
3. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream
4. Chocolate chip cookies
5. Fruit

Five songs to which you know all the words
1. Good Girls Don't - The Knack
2. Better Be Home Soon - Crowded House
3. What I Like About You - The Romantics
4. You Wanted More - Tonic
5. Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire
1. Pay off all my debt and have a house built
2. Buy a Lexus SC 430 and a GMC Yukon
3. Travel... First thing would be to take Chrissie up on that date she promised
4. Set my mom up in a nice retirement community
5. Invest

Five bad habits
1. Snacking late
2. Flirting (if you could consider that a bad thing)
3. Picking my nose
4. Fart on elevators
5. Speeding

Five things you like doing
1. Sex
2. Watching Movies
3. Listening to music
4. Flirting, Kissing
5. Driving my car fast

Five things you would never wear again
1. Cordoroy. Hate it, hate it, hate it
2. Briefs or thong
3. Joop (cologne... that's a stinker)
4. Polyester
5. Glasses (full time)

Five favorite toys
1. My computers
2. Kids XBox
3. My quad
4. Mr. Happy
5. Any toy that a girlfriend requests

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Music Meme

Meme from Mel

1) A favorite political track: The Taliban by Toby Keith

Not something I would generally look for, but heard it on The Bob & Tom Show and LOVED IT! He and Scotty Emerick have written some really funny shit.

2) One of those tracks that make you dance on the dance floor no matter what: Didn't Mean To Turn You On by Robert Palmer

This was the first song that I danced to where the girl asked me to dance. She was gorgeous, and I was in shock. One of the guys I was at the club with asked me to teach him how to dance after that. I basically told him to fuck off. I felt like a god for a few minutes.

3) The song you’d use to tell someone you love them: Count On Me (Somebody) by Tonic

I probably wouldn't use this song, but I connected with it when I was dating someone a few years ago.

4) A song that has made you sit down and analyze it’s lyrics: Drops of Jupiter by Train

It has funny and quirky lyrics, but I liked the message that is basically the same as "If you love someone, set them free". Well, that's my interpretation anyway

5) A song that you like, that a two year old would like as well: Rock Lobster by The B-52's

Sorry, but I was not going to research kids songs. I had enough of those when Kevin was a baby. Once I pronounced Barney dead I brain-washed him into loving The Beatles.

6) A song that gives you an energy boost: Interstate Love Song by Stone Temple Pilots

Probably not as energetic as most people would pick, but I love the whole vibe of this song. This is one of those that I crank in the car and make a fool of myself by really getting into singing to it and air drumming

7) A song that you and your grandparents (would probably) like: Recipe For Love by Harry Connick, Jr.

Harry is a classic. I love his upbeat stuff. My grandparents were all dead by the time I was 10, so I had no idea what they liked. My dad was as old as most of my friends grandparents.

8) A song that you really liked when you were 14-16, and still really like now: Next To You by The Police

One of my all time favorite songs from one of the greatest bands ever. My first concert was seeing The Police my junior year in high school (The Go Go's opened). I saw them again when I was in college. When I heard that The Police had broke up I thought it was going to be the end of good music as we know it.

9) A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life: Why Does It Always Rain On Me by Travis

A cool, depressing, haunting song

10) A peppy song that would start the opening credits of the movie about your life: Spy In The House Of Love by Was (Not Was)

Love "The Was". Such a bizarre and talented band. They ranged from some serious funky stuff to the odd "Captain Beefheart"-ish tunes.

11) A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess that you liked: Tuxedo Junction by Glenn Miller

I know my parents loved big band/swing. I though it was so cool to hear Dad cheer out loud during one of my jazz band performances when we featured a bunch of big band music.

12) A song that you think should have been playing when you were born: Brother by Toad The Wet Sprocket

Not that this song was around then, but it seems to fit. I think I need to track down what the guys from Toad are doing now and get their lastest stash.

13) A favorite artist duo collaboration: Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder

I have always been a fan of both Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder. When they did this back in the early 80s I was totally jazzed by it. Say, Say, Say (w/ MJ) on the other hand I could not stand.

14) The song that you like despite the fact your IQ level drops several points every time you listen to it: He's My Best Friend by Jellyfish

To put it simply, this song is about a guy and his right hand. You do the math.

15) Your smooth song, for relaxing: Giving You The Best That I Got by Anita Baker

Anita is the epitome of classy R&B

16) A song you would send to someone you hate or are mad at: She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd

What a sweet little ditty

17) A song that reminds you of a past break-up: If You're Gone by Matchbox 20

Actually the whole Mad Season album reminds me of my divorce.

18) A favorite track from an outfit considered a super-group: Big Machine by Goo Goo Dolls

This was tough. I don't like a lot of "Super Groups". I think The Goo Goo Dolls should be considered one.

19) A song that makes you reminisce about good times with a family member: Hey Julie by Fountains of Wayne

I did not know my sister Paula liked Fountains of Wayne, but during her memorial service we took her iPod, plugged it in to a boom box and just set it to random. My sister was the coolest, and when I heard this song playing I knew that her influence was all threw my musical tastes.

20) Your favorite song at this moment in time: Dirty Little Secret by All-American Rejects

I found this in someone's profile on MySpace and immediately dug it. I went right out and bought both All-American Rejects CDs.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Late Weekend Report

I had a fun weekend with the boys up in the mountains.

We stayed in a cabin that my company owns. I was hoping for some better weather, but the wind didn't want to cooperate. The sun shined brightly the whole weekend, but the wind and cold air prevented us from getting any hiking in. I was looking forward to finding a rock formation called Booby Rocks.

We got out a bit, but for the most part we hung out in the cabin, played Yatzee, Parchesi, Blackjack (I think Erik, my 8 year old, is going to be a card shark). I took my laptop along for the sole purpose of watching some DVDs. They picked out about 8 movies even though I told then that 3 or 4 was the most we'd have time for.

Since there are so many comic book readers out there I am curious. What did everyone think of Batman Begins? I loved it myself, but then again I don't follow any comics anymore, and was never into Batman comics. The story didn't follow Tim Burton's treatment, which I am glad. I was not liking the villians in the earlier pieces, although a friend of mine and I picked Jim Carey to be The Riddler way before the though of the third movie came along. Too bad the writing on that one was for shit.

I was hoping to get together with Ailyn on Sunday night, but his plans didn't quite work out. Maybe some other time bud. My brother just moved to CT this past summer. I may be coming out there for a visit before too long. It would have been cool to meet up with a blogger friend.

I think I'll hit the sack early tonight. I need the extra Zs

My Seduction Style

Your Seduction Style: Sex Pot

Tradionally known as a "siren", "rake", or "femme fatale." You exude sensuality.
And while your sexiness is part of what makes you an incredible seducer...
Your ability to make others feel sexy is what really makes your seduction skills shine.

Most people don't feel attractive or desired enough - a need which you tap into.
You have the ultimate sex appeal, and getting attention from you is a total self esteem boost.
Your confidence is contagious, and you help others unleash their own sexuality.

Your sex pot seduction skills are so intoxicating that you can get away with... well, almost murder.
Lovers feel like your sensuality is in your blood, so it's only natural if you flirt a little.
And if you stray, that might be okay as well - as long as you make your lover still feel hot.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

HNT... better late than never

My ex always hated the fact that I could spread them

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Photo Meme

Taken from Echotig

Favorite song:
Train - When I Look To The Sky

Grandma's name
Virginia White

Favorite food
Steak and corn on the cob

Favorite drink
Diet Dr. Pepper


Town I live in now
Colorado Springs, CO

Town I was born in
Madison Heights, MI

This Is My Life, Rated
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

6.9 heh!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Non-tag Questionnaire

I can't find where I picked this up from, but feel free to do your own.

1. Craziest place you ever had sex? Back seat of a car going over the Golden Gate Bridge. OK, it was just a blow job, but I count it.

2. Ever pass out from drugging/drinking? No

3. What have you done you could have been arrested for? Drinking in public (which of course leads to urinating in public), Indecent exposure , Sex on the side of the road, Shoplifting (it would have been a juvi offense), DUI (when I was 19 or 20).

4. Ever cheated in school? Yes, but nothing severe

5. Ever dated a goth or a vamp? No, but a couple tramps :D

6. Ever keep secret from your friends someone you were dating? Yes, she was 17 (I was 20). No, I didn't have sex with her. Her parents approved of me. They were kind of trashy.

7. Most unusual place you ever slept? On the deck of my apartment, drunk with a few friends. I locked my keys in the apartment and my brother (we lived together) was in the mountains camping.

8. Favorite sexual position? I like a lot of them. But I think my fav is called "The Seventh Position Of The Perfumed Garden". It took me a while to find the name.

9. Cum before? Cum with or cum after your partner? After, I'll do anything to make sure I am not the first.

10. You have a tattoo or any other distinguishing features? birthmark on my right elbow

11. Ever dated someone you met online? Yes, a lot

12. Ever fell in love with someone you met online? Yes

13. Ever had sex with the same sex? No

14. Had a threesome? Yes

15. Ever cheated on a spouse or lover? Yes, and regretted it. She never knew

16. Are you a geek, dork or a nerd? Definitely a geek. A pretty normal person for a geek, but a geek just the same.

17. What is the biggest risk you have taken in your life? Getting married

18. What do you smell right now? My dirty body. I just worked out

19. Last song you listened to? Lincoln Avenue - Train

20. Last show you watched on TV? I watched a couple episodes of Firefly on DVD. Does that count. If not then it was probably a movie on HBO

21. Last movie you saw in the theater? The Legend of Zorro. It was kid safe, but I enjoyed it way more than I expected.

22. Favorite reality show? Don't watch any, so I would say my life

23. What was the last thing you felt guilty about? Messing up a file at work causing our software to not work properly.

24. Have you ever had phone sex? Yes, hardly ever. I've been told I am really good at it :D

25. Ever had virtual sex? Ummm is this anything like cyber? If so then yes

26. Have any sexual regrets? Yes, having sex with someone I really didn't like. I am not like that.

27. What is your most recent sexual fantasy? Sex on a train

28. Last time you masturbated? Last Saturday(Why did I want to do this questionnaire?)

29. Can you lick your own nipples? No, and if I could someone please shoot me

30. Would you ever date the person who sent you this quiz? I copied and pasted from someone's blog that I can't remember. So I guess I can't answer.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


Her reaction was more of "we don't need to do that".

The boys played Xbox while we tried to find more information out about these pocket bikes. FYI, if you are looking for pocket bikes on-line don't let your child Google it. My son typed in Pocket Rocket. Luckily I caught the mistake as I saw the headline of the first item in the list. He didn't understand why I took over.

It was an hour or so before dinner time I thought about going to the store. I asked her if I should go get something. She was very non-commital, acting like she didn't want to put me out. I am a fairly sensitive person, so all of this was starting to feel to me like she was uncomfortable being here. I assured her that I am fine with whatever she wants to do.

Apparently I said something wrong. She decided that she would just pick up something for them on their way home. Her tone was not very pleasant. I was disappointed and frustrated. I took the boys out for wings. Luckily the wing place had the Bronco game on, so I at least had that distraction.

I felt as if I was being punished for offering to take them out. I had no idea what to do. I slept on it and hoped that tomorrow would bring some clarity.

She called me after I had picked up the kids from their mothers. She apologized about the way things went. She is having a lot of anxiety about me... or is it more about her?

1. She feels I am too accustomed to dining out. She can't afford it so she feels I am in a different class or something...UGH. It's not that we always eat out, but it does happen in my house often when I have the kids. I get home from work, pick the boys up from their mom's house, and by this time it is already close to 6 (possibly past 6 if I had to work late). Most decent meals take some time to prepare. I would rather not make my kids wait too long. Pasta tends to be made a lot. I am not good at meal planning. I tend to fill my cupboards with all kinds of different things for side dishes and a few veggies, and then buy a few types of meat to have for the week. If I had the time I would much rather stay home and cook something simple.

2. She feels I am too anxious to move things along in our relationship (this is because of inviting her and her son to spend the night). I think that she is too afraid to open up her heart. I have not pushed for much. I am a touchy feely kind of guy. I like to hold hands, kiss in public, lots of hugs. I sensed her hesitation early on with this behaviour so I have not been my normal touchy feely self. We do our share of holding hands, but as for kissing... this has been seriously lacking in my book. I think it's sad really. As for sex... I am all for it, but I am not pushing for it AT ALL. I know she is not ready, and I am willing to wait. A little background here... She and I had sex on our first date. It was actually about 12 hours after the date started, so I tend to give her and myself a little slack on this.

She says she loves hanging out and spending time together, yet she gets all uptight about me wanting to kiss her. I am not in this to be a guy friend. I have plenty of women friends, I do not want to limit this to just that.

I think I am going to be backing away from Rayette... not breaking it off, just not pursuing her. Maybe she can figure out what she wants and will change her tune. That is hard for me to do, but I think it is what needs to be done.

I know some of you think I should just dump her. Sorry to disappoint you.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Gruelling Week

It's already been a week since I have posted anything of any substance (insert joke here).

Last weekend was very busy with R. We took my kids and one of her kids to dinner and to a "Fun Center" for an evening of driving go-carts, spin and puke rides, and haunted houses. Her youngest was spending the night at a friends house. We was a lot of fun.

R was so scared that she would just freeze up, which of course makes the people doing the scaring pay that much more attention to her. I had to hold her and drag her along. It was so cute and funny.

It was very late when we got back to my house. She has been adjusting from a night schedule to a day schedule. I asked if she wanted to crash at my place. I offered that she could sleep in my bed and I would sleep in Erik's. The boys always crash down in the family room when a friend is over. She turned me down. I guess she thought I had ulterior motives, which I didn't.

I was a bit worried about her driving the hour+ it takes for her to get home. I called her on her way home. When I am tired talking is one way for me to stay awake. She laughed and said I was being silly, especially since she was just barely out of town.

The next morning Kevin woke up and raked leaves. He actually woke me up when he went out the garage door. I didn't even have to remind him to do it. Geez, is he feeling okay?

A couple hours later R called to invite us down to her house for dinner, to carve pumpkins, and to rent some scary movies. We had to make a run to the store for a few things and rent movies. It was a great night, except for the movie that the boys chose.

I guess they aren't used to making fun of bad movies as they watch them. I think her son was wondering why I was giving them a hard time about their choice of movie. Erik was having some allergy problems, so we headed home around midnight. Her son wanted us to stay, but she didn't ask.

On Sunday R called and we talked a bit. She mentioned how she needed to come up this way to get her son. I didn't realize he was here. She asked if I knew any shops in town that sell those little pocket bikes. She said she wanted to get one for her oldest son, but wanted to check them out.

I did some checking around on the net, but I couldn't find a local dealer. Then I realized that motorcycle, car, boat, rv, etc dealers in Colorado are not open on Sundays (Don't ask me why, I can't figure that one out).

She was going to do some more yard work then head our way. She said she needed to be up here in time to get her son because the people he was with were going to a movie in the afternoon. I offered to go get him, unless it would be too strange. She said it would.

A little while later she called to ask me if I could get him. She wasn't going to get there in time. I had no problem with it, but in the back of my mind I was thinking "what if this is a ex-boyfriend of hers?". The boys and I went to get him. The house was in a brand new neighborhood. When I arrived a guy answered the door. He said hi, but that was it. I introduced myself and shook his hand. He didn't tell me his name. I knew right then that my instincts were right. I would have appreciated a warning at least.

I asked if he just moved in and told him I liked the place (no lawn yet, and hardly any furniture). He told me he'd been there for at least 6 months (WTF... get your ass in gear! No wonder you can't keep a girlfriend). So we left it at that, got her son ready and got out of there. He was obviously uncomfortable. I am not the jealous type, so I couldn't care less.

We went back to my house. R showed up about an hour later. I had not planned on them all being there, so I didn't have enough of any particular thing to feed the whole crew. I offered to take everyone out to dinner. For some reason that prompted a negative reaction.

To be continued...

You Are 20% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Clueless - HNT

Oh, just tell me to go to bed... BLAH!


Monday, October 31, 2005

What I should be for Halloween

Your Haloween Costume Should Be

A Scary Bunny

What did you carve?

We carved pumkins over at Rayette's house on Saturday night.

Kevin (almost 13) wanted to do something he designed. Here is his creation.

And here is Erik's (8 year old, so it's pretty obvious that I did all the carving). He scooped out all the guts and picked the design though.

Friday, October 28, 2005

S.H.I.T - T.G.I.F

I can wait for this work day to be over. I am taking off at noon.

Just for some laughs you need to check out these commercials. I sent 3 of the files around yesterday, but I should have looked harder for a website... here it is

Kevin had a band concert yesterday that I totally forgot to put on my calendar. Luckily he called me an hour before it started.

I am really impressed with his band teacher. She has really done a great job teaching these kids to learn and love to play music. She has so many kids to teach, way more than I did when I was Kevin's age. She had to split the band into a band per grade level (6th, 7th, and 8th). Back in the day we had 2 regular bands. The Symphonic Band (you had to try out for this one), and the Concert Band which all kids could join. I think this was a decent way to seperate things, but I see some problems with it.

Kevin's teacher has also had to split up the band into multiple classes because she can't fit all the kids in the room at one time. A brass class, a woodwind class, and a percussion class. I am amazed that when they finally all get together it all works.

Kevin's middle school is way overcrowded (about 55% over capacity), which is a big issue with me. We can't seem to pass some tax increases to build some additional schools. It seems that our school district is plagued by the fact that the largest portion of the district is rural. For some reason the rural folks have too much power in the decisions for district expansion (and voting down the needed tax increases). If they are going to cause our kids to be this over crowded then we need to split the district. It's that or I need to move to a different district.

Don't get me wrong. I hate taxes. I have been paying more than my share of taxes for years and I am sick to death of it.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Some Light Reading - HNT

It seemed like tonight was a good night to do some reading.

Ya, I'm a geek, and I am reading a tech book, but sometimes your mind is just hungry for something to think about. Am I right? Most of my reading this week has been of all my blogerful friends out there. You have no idea how much I appreciate your kind words. Then I come in and gross you all out with this. :D

It's been an interesting week of people talking about anal sex, coke can poop, talking dirty, graphic novels, pussy (I mean cats you pervs), Ritz crackers, girlfriends, boyfriends, divorce, marriage, being slutty, carving pumpkins, loved ones that are gone, work, kids, and we battled it out with someone that is too uptight to understand or to keep her mouth shut. I can hardly believe what all we've covered this week. Some of it is still making my head spin (Coke can.... holy hell!).

Happy HNT my friends


Next Steps

Rayette and I both knew that getting back together would require us to go slow. This seems to be working so far. I tend to see her about once a week, sometimes twice. We talk on the phone every couple days. I really feel good about the fact that we are trying again and really working on the areas where we had problems 2 years ago.

She cracks me up on Sundays. She is a big Denver Broncos fan (I am a fan, but not an intense one). When she is watching the game from her house she calls me to scream about the awesome play or the bullshit call that was made. She gets so intense about it. Picturing her going through this is hillarious. She is only 4' 11" with an equally tiny voice, but the intensity of her love for the Broncos makes her seem like she is 6' 5". She's got me excted about football again.

Things are going pretty well, but I am not totally confident or comfortable yet. We spend time together, but have not been intimate yet. Our kissing has not been the passionate kind we had in the past. I am all for the passion, but I sense that she is not. I have a wall up (a short one that is easy to hop over) because I don't want to get too close and get hurt again. She has a wall up, but it's hard to know exactly why.

We have plans to get together with the kids up in my neck of the wood this Friday evening. We're going to take the kids to a go-cart/arcade place and a haunted house. I kind of hope to have them spend the night, but I won't be upset if they don't.

I have some female friends that I do things with from time to time that think something is wrong because we haven't had sex yet. These friends are women I used to date so maybe they are looking at it as a comparison to what had happened between us. I am not upset about the state of things, but I am ready for the passion to begin.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My Enemies

*** Revision...

I forgot to mention that I did this after reading Chrissie and Steff's posts on the same subject (we all picked different titles though). This took me a number of days to write because I would get started and I would get pissed off and need a break. Get a drink now... it's another long one. Enjoy! -Jon


I don't know too many people that I don't like. I am generally a very likeable guy myself (at least that is what I am told), and I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I also can read through the bullshit really quickly. It tends to make some interviews people have with me go really fast. I try not to piss people off, but sometimes to get the job done you have to ruffle some feathers. I've had some managers and directors tell me that I am too nice (I think they also assume easily influenced), and that certain strong personalities in the groups that I deal with try to control my efforts. I guess some people see someone that is nice as an easy mark. I am not one of those.

Marty was a back stabbing moron that my manager hired out of desperation to fill positions on a government contract we took over. Marty and I butted heads almost right away. This had a lot to do with the fact that he could not do the job he was hired for, but then my manager, Bruce, was not writing up his deficiencies because we were too busy trying to get this contract working.

Marty and I argued a lot. He did not like me and I did not like or respect him. He lied on his resume, and my manager was too technically ignorant to read through his bullshit in the interview. He did have one thing that he was good at... lying.

I was promoted to supervisor of the department and quickly got things into motion to get rid of him. I started documenting his deficiencies and our arguments, and with the help of my manager we compiled a nice folder for HR.

Marty obviously knew how the game was played, but he was probably a third stringer on the team. Before I was ready to go to HR, Marty brought up a harassment claim on me to my manager. It was quite harsh and complete bullshit. My manager and I had a sit down meeting with Marty.

Bruce was the master! He knew just how to turn this around on Marty. By the end of the meeting we actually had him admitting IN WRITING how he was reacting harshly due to his hot temper. We also documented and had him sign off on how he was not following my directions and doing things the way he wanted instead of how the procedures were written.

Renee was one sneaky bitch. She was hired at the same time Marty was (I really hated this job). She was the ultimate back stabber. She was hired as our media librarian. She was then transferred under me to keep an eye on here. Why did I become the damn babysitter.

I was not happy with her work, and I came to find out it wasn't even her work. One of her jobs was to write up "engineering" changes for a particular customer on our project. The changes were mostly just equipment moves from one part of the building to another, which required drawing updates and ensuring adequate power and cooling. I found out that she was actually having one of the customer's engineers write up the changes, then she would transfer these to our forms and submit them.

Eventually my manager had Renee move into my cubicle so that I could watch her like a hawk. I really hated that, especially because I could not stand her. I did notice that the majority of her day was spent BSing with people. I had to get on her about that. Then she was having a house build, so she was always on the phone with her general contractor or a supplier. That had to be stopped as well. She said she did. My boss wanted her gone, so I needed to start compiling data on her.

I was preparing to fly out to LA Air Force Base to assist with a project when I saw her computer screen unlocked (unusual for her... she always covered her tracks very well). A floppy disk was in the drive. I saw that it was all personal stuff. House building info, kids projects, resumes, etc. I made a stupid decision because I was about to leave for LA. I decided to copy the data over the network to my system and bury it in a directory. I was going to analyze the dates and times of the files when I returned to determine if she was using government equipment (the computer) for personal use.

When I returned I was immediately called to the program manager's office. Renee had contacted HR about me invading her privacy. She found the files on my system (which was locked), and erased all the files using a tool that wiped the sectors to eliminate being able to recover them. She was smart except for one thing. Why did she feel the need to remove the evidence that proved I invaded her privacy. She knew I had her. If I would have said that I didn't do it there would have been no evidence. I was honest and admitted to what I did explaining why I did it.

They were totally on my side, but she got HR involved (we worked for 2 different companies, so HR from both were involved...yeah!), so they needed to have a big meeting with all of us. The big guns were on my side along with my HR guy. They gave me a pretty hard slap on the wrist and instructed me on what to do next time. This being my first time in a management position I asked for some management training. Renee on the other hand got severely slapped, and received a written warning for what she had done.

She and I both found new jobs soon afterwards. This all made me not want to ever be in a management position ever again.

A few years later I met Dawn. She knew Renee from the job that Renee went to, and ran into her from time to time. She didn't care for Renee, but would tolerate her. I told Dawn how I could not stand her. Dawn and I got along great. Dawn took it upon herself to play along with the bizarre situation. She had Renee's e-mail address and they started talking shit about me. Renee had asked how I was to work for. She told Renee that I was ok, but kind of a hard ass (so not true). Renee proceeded to tell Dawn that my boss and I were fired from our jobs out at the NTF for sexual harassment of another woman in our department. I was so tempted to sue her ass. Dawn gave me copies of the e-mail. I decided it wasn't something I wanted to waste my time on.

Pamwas an incompetent bitch that was hired as the lead of the department I work with. This was right after I first went into consulting. The director that hired her (not knowing a damn thing about what we do) in a staff meeting the day before she started described the type of person she was. He made it sound like a good thing. We all let out a collective groan. We all knew that she was going to make a lot of enemies throughout the company. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt... for a short while.

We spent about 2 hours with her on her first morning. I knew we were in big trouble. This woman was so totally clueless, and just wanted to brown nose her way up the ladder. It was so incredibly disgusting to watch.

About the same time she was hired they brought in a consultant to manage our department (we all agreed that having a consultant as a manager was odd, but he was good so we gave him the respect he deserved). Greg was an awesome guy. Smart as hell and knew exactly what needed to be done. Pam of course saw this as a road block to her future. She went around him to other managers and back stabbed him at every opportunity. We all quickly got to hate her.

Greg quickly figured out that I knew what I was doing, and he trusted my judgment. We let Greg know all of the bullshit Pam was trying to pull. Greg immediately started talks with his boss. My friend/co-worker Evans had actually taken an issue to HR about her. He was not going to let the bureaucracy slow him down. I'm not sure if that was a good thing or not.

I figured she was not going to last, but there were so many things we were up against that HR was too chicken-shit to do anything.

I asked Greg if he had Pam's resume. I asked him if he trusted me to read it over. He took me to lunch and he had me read it. Her resume was so packed full of lies. I was just floored that someone could get hired claiming they knew so much, but not being able to do any of it. Greg said the one thing that his being a consultant does is ties his hands. He was given the title with zero authority. His boss was reacting to all the problems she was causing at a snails pace.

She wanted to hire a friend of hers. Greg told her know, so she went to a project manager and got this PM to pay for bringing this new guy in. This PM didn't like me or Greg because we didn't suck up to her. We all protested to Greg's manager, who ended up letting this guy to be brought it.

Pam told me to get him up to speed on what we do. I figured this guy had to have some experience in our area, but no... he had none. His claim to fame was that he sucked up to Pam at her last job (which we subsequently learned she was fired from FOR INCOMPETENCE!!!). We use very specific type of software tools. Not only did he have no experience in these tools, he didn't even know anything about UNIX, which was the platform we were working on. So basically I was having to teach him EVERYTHING. Greg had enough and soon found a new consulting gig.

After a long weekend of work where Pam jumped in and mispoke in a teleconference with our customer I decided I couldn't take it anymore. The following Monday we had a meeting with our director present. Three of us (including her brown nose buddy) jumped all over her shit. We told her how wrong she was and highlighted all of the bad decisions she had inflicted on us. She of course wouldn't listen.

A week later my contract was cancelled. I was told it wasn't because of Pam. I told the manager that he didn't need to blow smoke up my ass.

A couple months later Evans got a new job in a different division of the company. Pam had come to him to ask if he though I would come back. I am sure he was holding back a gut busting laugh. He called me a few minutes later. I told him to tell her to kiss my ass. I told him I would go back only if she was gone.

She basically gutted that department. We had 6 employees at one point. I have no idea how they are getting by these days. It's sad when companies are too afraid to fire someone. It effects so many people and costs the company so much money. A few months ago she actually got a different job in the company, then was soon fired for incompetence. We considered having a party.

Sorry this was so long. I need to hire an editor.