Wednesday, November 23, 2005

On-line Dating Experiences - E-Personality Disorder

I haven't been a paying member of any of the on-line personals websites since around November of last year I think it was. I was on Match.com at that time, but I have also been a member on Yahoo Personals, E-Harmony, Dating.com, a little known site called Love Access, and way back when I first went back to dating I was on udate.com

I tried e-Harmony a while back. I did the full blown "interrogation" that they put you through. I was very honest in all of my answers. It was actually really accurate as far as its evaluation of me.

I have heard of people only getting matched with 2 or 3 people over months of time on there, so I wasn't expecting much. I was surprised that I was being matched with 1 or 2 women a week.
My problem with this site was that I was matched with a bunch of women that lied on their "tests".

I kept thinking "How can they be stating that they have such a great system". I decided to just throw caution to the wind and actually meet someone from there.

I got to see some pictures of her so I knew she was decent looking. I talked to her on the phone a few times. She seemed nice during the first call... kind of nervous, but during a second call she was kind of flirty. She made a reference to sex toys. I was thinking to myself "Is this the same person?"

I was working in Denver at the time, actually very near where she lived, so we met for dinner at a Chinese restaurant. She was pretty freaked out about me seeing her. She was a little heavier than I expected, but not so bad that it would have turned me off. She just seemed very embarrassed and guarded about what she was saying.

While eating we talked, but not a lot. Near the end of the meal she opened up a bit more. It started feeling a bit more at ease for both of us. Then all of a sudden she started talking about her arsenal of sex toys and that she wanted to get a sex swing. I'm not sure, but I think my jaw literally hit the table.

This woman may have had a split personality. It's the only thing that would explain the flip flop. I told her about a friend of mine that does the home sex toy parties. I told her I would hook her up if she wanted.

When we were done we were walking out the restaurant and she flipped again and got all shy again.

This woman had me worried. I called her the next day to tell her it wasn't going to work. That was the last E-Harmony date I went on. After that things dried up oon that site.

That site is very expensive, but if the quality aproach would have worked instead of the quantity like the other sites it would have been worth it.

I don't think I'll be going back to that site.

14 comments:

Le Synge Bleu said...

okay, a little scary, actually...but it makes one hell of a great story, and at the end of the day isn't that what counts? (or at least makes us feel better)

Jon said...

You want stories? I've got stories!

Jon said...

Check here for some other doosies:

http://jonslifecontinued.blogspot.com/2005/10/my-three-worst-dates.html

Guacaholic said...

I'm sorry that eHarmony was a bad experience for you... I've actually had some great experiences through there, although I had one doozy as well.

Dating sometimes beats.

aughra said...

I work at a sex toy store, but we don't sell swings. How do you disguise something like a sex swing in your home? I had a hard enough time hiding our dong.

Jon said...

Umm Chrissie.... DUH!

Someone like you gets hundreds of e-mails, and I am supposed to stand out somehow in the masses? That's not the kind of odds that appeal to me.

From what I have heard from women I have dated they'll get a dozen of so decent e-mails a weeks from one of the non-adult oriented site. An ordinary guy like me gets maybe 1 or 2 a week, sometimes 1 or 2 a month.

This tells me that the women are not going after the guys. They are picking from the guys that sent them messages. More of a passive approach.

AVA said...

Wow, that was funny, and a little scary, it's a good thing you didn't go on a second date or anything, and that you let her know immediatly. Good luck next time, though (on another site of course)

Deb said...

Jon, you're pulling a 'Deb' here with these bad date stories!

You know, when my girlfriend and I were separated, I looked into e-harmony and they didn't have an option for "women seeking other women". I realized then, that the guy who owns e-harmony is a hard core Christian who is totally against the homosexual lifestyle. Hmmm, no hope for me with that site!

Sorry your date didn't work out, but for the most part, it sounded interesting!

Bad dates = good blog material!

Jon said...

Oh I am sure I'll have more stories to tell. I already have more from previous meetings. Some f you might even get to read them ;)

Spinning Girl said...

I didn't like e-harmony; too many steps before you can actually communicate with the person. And I am still single, so take THAT, e harmony!

SignGurl said...

Almost makes me glad I'm married!

Jon said...

Spinning Girl... Available? ;)

terry said...

funny you should mention the passivity of women online.

i have found that most men -- at least in our age group -- seem put off when the woman makes the first move. it really surprised me, because i keep hearing that men love it when women ask them out, but that's not been my experience... or that of my friends.

go figure.

and as someone else pointed out... dating blows most of the time...!

Jon said...

Chrissie - Thanks hun, but getting to know someone online is one thing. Actually dating someone is a completely different level. You are an exception to the rule. You are a very open person that is accustomed to the whole on-line experience. Most women are very skiddish (understandably so because of the vast number of creepy men out there).

Terry - I am not at all put off when a woman makes the first move. I think it's refreshing and it takes off a lot of the pressure. I think guys that are put off by it may be control freaks.