Saturday, November 07, 2009

Getting out...

I have been happily getting out and socializing more these days. My friend Laura continues to take me to her "singles group" outings. They are a very good group of people. I was kind of expecting when Laura started inviting me to these events, that things would get ugly from time to time. Maybe it's because of the age group that most of these people are in is at a more mature level... or these people are just more respectful.

I know that Laura has dated a few of the guys from the group. And when I show up with her, I do get looked at like I am dating her. Which I am not. I think it is funny when there are guys interested in her and they see me there, they get kind of jealous and territorial. At first I kind of hung with Laura as I am a bit shy. As I met a few people I felt comfortable getting buried in deep conversations with the guys and the women in the group. Sometimes I feel like some of these conversations are like job interviews. Kind of strange, but I don't mind.

This past couple weeks I have gone to a comedy club, a Halloween party and a night at a club here in town to see a blues band and do some dancing. A lot of the same people were at these places, so I was able to remember some people's names. Well, those that I could recognize out of their costumes.

At the club the other night there was this couple that I just met at the Halloween party. I don't know if they met through the groups or what. He seemed really nice, and even understood what I do for a living (that is very rare). She was also really nice... nicer than I expected since we had just met a few days before. Maybe she was trying to make her guy jealous, I don't know. So much for being adults. I decided the best thing to do is just kind of play along as if I think she is kidding around, and make sure he thinks that too.

Another lady showed up later that I am very attracted to. She is intelligent, funny as hell (tells some great dirty jokes), and a gorgeous redhead. Her name is also Laura. She has this long distance boyfriend thing going on, but she is also very friendly to me. She is fun to talk to, but she is also kind of intimidating. I just try to be my normal self.

It kind of cracks me up how hard some of the guys try to impress the women. I just wonder if it ever really works. The hand kissing, and over the top compliment seem so phoney to me.

Dancing to me is always kind of an awkward area for me. I feel fairly comfortable on the dance floor. I dont try to do anything fancy. I never learned to swing dance. So I just keep it simple. But sometimes people look at me funny. I don't really care what they think, but it does get me a little self conscious. Maybe I am reacting wrong. Maybe they like what I am doing, but who knows. I do watch some of the guys trying to be a little hipper than they should. That is a little unnerving. I sometimes think to myself "Do I look like that?" I;ve decided that I don't.

I am not an official member of any of these groups. I think I'll keep it that way for a little while. But I think I might like getting into one of the hiking groups. For someone that has lived here in Colorado Springs for 32 years, I sure don't know where many of the good hiking trails are. I could certainly use the exercise.

Friday, October 02, 2009

The more things change, the more they stay the same

I have cut way back on my blogging, obviously. But I think some of it was because all I was doing was bitching about work. I know it must be tiring to read.

Well lately work has been "interesting". I have now been there for 3 years. Most people are amazed I am still there considering I commute almost everyday to Denver (130 mile round trip). This year I started wishing there were more jobs out there, but the fucked up economy is showing in the fact that the only job in my field that is available is yet another 45 minutes further from my house. I don't think I want a 4 hour round trip commute.

What is new is that my boss is taking a new job in the company. Many people that know about it expect that I would want his job, but I don't. My job sucks bad enough. He's been a decent boss (my 4th boss in 3 years), but he is a real pain at times. I gave him a nickname that he is unaware of. We call him "The Vortex". This is because if you get sucked into his office you may not come out for hours. This guy over analyzes shit to the point that I almost want to give in just to get the fuck away from him. But I never give in if I truly believe I am right.

Now that he is moving on, we are doing a bit of a reorganization. They don't want to replace him since it is cheaper to just force some other sucker to take on the job in addition to their current responsibilities. Yesterday it was official that all of his departments were going to report to a lady that is a VP over QA and some developement projects. She is a decent manager, but I know her technical skills are lacking. She has never pulled rank with me, but I know I have had to prove her and her people wrong on a number of situations. Since then she seems to listen to me more and more, and trust my opinions and judgement, but I know she still relies on some of her folks who I feel are completely clueless and have her fooled.

I am not upset about the reporting structure change, but I know it does mean I will have a different dynamic going on in many of my meetings with her. We'll see how it works out.

Other than that...

The kids are good. Healthy and doing well in school. Erik is playing football on a Park & Rec team. He is doing way better than I expected. His coach talked to him about losing some weight, which he is doing (he doesn't listen to me in these matters... and who am I to talk). Kevin is working a lot at McDonalds, and getting ready for a lot of snowboarding this winter.

It looks like I am not going to be going to Michigan for Christmas this year, so I think I will plan a long weekend with the kids to go skiing/boarding.

My love life is pretty empty these days. I started seeing someone that broke it off early. It was pretty disappointing because I really liked her. We had a lot in common. But if you're not feeling it, you can't force it. I've been on the other side of that, so I understand where she was with it.

A lady friend of mine that I have hardly talked to this year called me the other day. She lives in another state, so having a close relationship is very hard. We are realistic about it. The interesting thing about this particular call was that she suggested that we take a trip together. I know that if we lived in the same city, or maybe even just the same state, I wouldn't hesitate to take a trip. My dilema is that she is the type of person that I know I will fall for provided we spend a good amount of time together. So now I need to wonder if our "realistic" approach is a good thing or should we just say fuck it, and throw all previous thoughts out the window.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

I am a tease... and a dumbass

I talk about blogging, and I never do.

I did finally take the kids on vacation. I think some of you know about it from Facebook. We drove to Michigan for a few days and visited my mom and sisters families. It was a good visit.

Kevin has a friend that just recently moved an hour or so from where my mom lives so I took him to see his friend. They had fun riding skateboards.

I took Erik on a canoe ride at the park my nephew and neice work at. They load you into a van with a trailer full of canoes in tow. They help you launch it into the river. Our run took about 45 minutes. We capsized the canoe 5 minutes into the run. It was pretty funny. This part of the river is pretty shallow, so it didn't take much to reach shore and dump the water.

Mom seems to be doing well, and was excited about flying to Maine with my sister the next week. I was pretty bummed that I couldn't do that with them, but I just couldn't afford it... and the boys had to get back to school that week.

I am not big into Facebook, but it has a couple mind numbing and addicting games. I kind of hate that I have gotten into that. A few old girlfriends have tracked me down on Facebook. A couple from back in the early 80s, and a couple since my divorce. I kind of feel voyeuristic being able to see what they are up to. Some of it makes me sad.

One lady in particular was the first woman I really liked after my divorce. She broke it off with me because I had a vasectomy and she thought she would want kids one day. Other than the fact that I am seedless we got along so great. We were only seeing each other for about a month. We kept in touch as friends and even met for lunch and other things a couple times. She met someone later that year. A year later they were getting married. I was happy for her, but we stopped all communication. She didn't want to give him any reason for being jealous.

Well, for some reason she looked me up on Facebook. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a note from her. I felt dirty looking through her profile. Am I crazy? I saw that she had a daughter, but then I read how her and her husband adopted their daughter. That gave me mixed feelings. I was happy that she had this beautiful daughter, but I was sad that she didn't have one herself. I'm not going to lie, part of me thought that breaking up with me for the reasons she gave were completely nullified somehow.


The boys are back in school. Kevin in his junior year in high school, and Erik is in his first year of middle school. It's all making me feel older... UGH

How the hell are you all? Anyone still reading this crap?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Summer WTF

Long absense, huh?

Now that the kids are out of school I seem to be even more stressed. I wonder what they are doing while I am not home. Are they getting outside or just watching tv and playing video games. Luckily, my ex signed up for a family membership to a rec center/gym, so they have something to do. I have been reminding them a lot to take advantage of that. And I have been giving them chores to do, which does help a lot... when they do them :D

The boys have asked me if we're going to go on a vacation this year. Quite frankly, I don't know. I could take some time off, but money is getting very tight. My savings took a hit due to some unforseen expenses. I hate charging up my credit cards. I am trying to get all of my credit card debt to disappear (just in case).

As for work... it is what it is. I am burnt out. We are still making progress on the new projects and we are improving things everyday for the existing ones. I just wish someone outside of my department would make an attempt at making some changes for the better.

I did get a small bonus, that should be showing up in my next paycheck. I am glad I got it because I was nominated for it by our VP of Development (at least that is what I think she is). She nominated me and one of my guys for this because she knows how hard we try, and how hard headed these people are that we have to deal with.

What else is there to tell you all...

Oh ya... my love life still sucks. You'll love my latest story. Maybe I'll blog about it later.

I am such a tease

Monday, March 23, 2009

Welcoming the Spring

Its been an entire month... What do I have to show for it?

I got my reviews done at work.
A couple of our big projects are moving along well.
I went on a date (what a shocker that is).

I am not thrilled with work. Two of my best employees have a bit of a feud going on. It upsets me that they aren't getting along. I don't even understand what caused it. One thinks the other doesn't like his type A personality, the other hasn't said a word to me. I will probably have to clear the air with them in a week. Have I said before that I hate being a manager?

I was supposed to be going to Iowa this week, but I did not make detailed enough plans for what we need to accomplish, so we're delaying the trip. Now my boss thinks that maybe we could do what we need remotely. I totally disagree, but this may have travel budget implications. I was going to take the 2 employees I mentioned earlier. I may have to rethink that even if we do get the budget.

My typical weekend is comprised of me sleeping in until at least 9:30, then putzing around the house. I may go to a movie, I may not.

This weekend was not typical. Friday night my friend Laura ask me to join her and a friend of hers to to a movie. That was fun. The movie was ok (Duplicity).

Saturday morning I received a call at 7:45. Of course it was my friend Mike. He was calling to tell me he was on his way over. He was borrowing my ATV for a few days. I made a few attempts at starting my ATV after putting a new battery in it the other day (without success). I've left it sitting around unused for too long. Mike also brought his computer over for me to look at. Aparently Turbo Tax doesn't like him. Unfortunately I fixed some problems with it, but not enough to make it work.

After Mike left I did my typical laundry and cleaning (a half-assed job on the cleaning). Then I headed to the store to pick up a meat tray and some beer for a board gaming party. That was fun, as usual.

Sunday morning I did sleep in until 9, but then got to work on more cleaning. I also rotated my tires and washed the car. I had to work for a few hours on crap I left unfinished on Friday. Then I went on the date I mentioned earlier. Nothing big to report. We'll see if anything happens.

One of the shows I am watching this year is getting REALLY good. Dollhouse... If you haven't watched it, you should start. I was a little more than luke warm on the show until this week. It's been building up to some big stories, and now its starting to hit. Friday nights episode was THE best. I am now totally hooked.

I am hoping to take a long weekend and head to Vegas before it gets to damn hot. Why do some people love the heat, and I just can't stand it. Give me 75-80 degrees and I am one happy boy.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Music Videos... and why some don't suck

I have loved this band since their first CD came out in 96. I never saw the video. I've stopped watching MTV for obvious reasons. Came across this and laughed my ass off.

I had a girlfriend back in 2003/4 that HATED this song. I never understood why. One of our last dates during our first go round we went to see Matchbox Twenty, and opening for them was Fountains of Wayne. I was totally into it. She had a look of disgust on her face. I am thinking that maybe she saw this video and didn't like it. Her kids were the age of the kids in this video at the time. Hehehe

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


Guess what day it is kids?

It is my Blogiversary

Not that this is a big deal, especially when I have a hard time posting once a month.
My life is not so different from month to month. My department has been making a lot of great progress on our projects. Although I am feeling a sense of accomplishment, I am also feeling burned out. I think my whole department is. We're even starting to get on each other's nerves, which has never happened with my group of "performers". I need to do something for them, but unfortunately I have to get approval to do ANYTHING to boost morale.

My mom, and cousin have been hounding me to go to maine this summer. They are renting a couple of houses for a week. This would make it much more affordable, but I think I would rather just escape away from everyone for a week. Anyone got a couch needing an occupant?

An old friend and I patched things up recently. She and I aren't dating. We did date for about 4 weeks a number of years ago. That ended, but we stayed friends. Then we had a falling out. That was aout 3 years ago. We've contacted each other over the last few years, but up until a few weeks ago we had not seen each other. We met for drinks and it was like the friendship had never been stopped.

Last week she invited me to a friend's wine party. I haven't been getting out much, so I felt it would be good to meet some new people. I then found out that this is a singles group she belongs to. She said "there will be lots of single ladies to mingle with". This actually sounded more and more like something I needed. I picked up a nice Pinot Noir.

Well, I had a great time. No, I didn't get any phone numbers. I didn't even try, to be honest. It was just good to meet some people and kind of refreshing to just start a conversation with someone out of the blue. I did meet a few very attractive ladies. I made a good impression with a number of people, so hopefully I will be invited to more events of theirs.

I do want to share this...

Untitled from Graham Butler on Vimeo.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Lost in the real world

It's been over a month since I have posted anything. I have so much to say, but have no time to organize my thoughts.

I wish that I could say that I have been secluded away on a tropical island, but that would just be a lie. I've gone skiing a couple times, but mostly I've just been working.

The love life is non-existant. I went from seeing 2 women in December. Then I was down to one. That fizzled, but came across another lady that I saw a couple times. Now that one is gone too. The last 2 I didn't even get a break up e-mail. I haven't heard a word. This is partially my fault, but it is a 2 way street.

I'm now coming down with a cold... FUCK!