Rayette and I both knew that getting back together would require us to go slow. This seems to be working so far. I tend to see her about once a week, sometimes twice. We talk on the phone every couple days. I really feel good about the fact that we are trying again and really working on the areas where we had problems 2 years ago.
She cracks me up on Sundays. She is a big Denver Broncos fan (I am a fan, but not an intense one). When she is watching the game from her house she calls me to scream about the awesome play or the bullshit call that was made. She gets so intense about it. Picturing her going through this is hillarious. She is only 4' 11" with an equally tiny voice, but the intensity of her love for the Broncos makes her seem like she is 6' 5". She's got me excted about football again.
Things are going pretty well, but I am not totally confident or comfortable yet. We spend time together, but have not been intimate yet. Our kissing has not been the passionate kind we had in the past. I am all for the passion, but I sense that she is not. I have a wall up (a short one that is easy to hop over) because I don't want to get too close and get hurt again. She has a wall up, but it's hard to know exactly why.
We have plans to get together with the kids up in my neck of the wood this Friday evening. We're going to take the kids to a go-cart/arcade place and a haunted house. I kind of hope to have them spend the night, but I won't be upset if they don't.
I have some female friends that I do things with from time to time that think something is wrong because we haven't had sex yet. These friends are women I used to date so maybe they are looking at it as a comparison to what had happened between us. I am not upset about the state of things, but I am ready for the passion to begin.
11 comments:
good luck bud! rooting for ya
You can totally rush into passion...because its either there or it isn't. Whats the point in "taking it slow" if when you get to that point in the relationship, there NO passion? Theres alot to be said about delayed gratification and the build up of sexual tension. But that doesn't sound like what you are doing.
Or hey, maybe she just doesn't want to give you any freebies.
All this time I thought Ailyn was a chick. Thats a new picture, right?
Ailyn is definitely a guy
baby steps - this is such a hard process. Good luck.
Hey Jon,
I think it's great that the two of you are getting along I agree with everyone on this board---take things slow and be patient.
Intimacy goes hand-in-hand with 'trust'. The wall that you built up--she's going to detect it--automatically, and then put a wall up herself out of a self-defense mechanism...She'll feel insecure if you keep that wall up. Then guess what? No intimacy!
Hang in there and don't be afraid to let yourself become vulnerable to her.
Hope things work out for you sweetie!
It is in her kiss buddy. If there is no passion in her kiss there is no passion in her.
She is killing time with you.
I will be the first to say don't rush into sex. But your problems go beyond that.
I wonder if you’re in love with the idea of being in love. Is there passion in your kiss? How do you actually feel about her? Are you killing time too? Are you passing the time with her because you feel your time is passing?
Have you ever said to yourself, “she’ll do.”? If so, she won’t. Baby steps can still trip a land mine.
I am sure the passion will be there. I totally agree that when you first meet someone the passion needs to be there... fireworks and all. I think this situation is a bit different because we have to rebuild some bonds. We have to be able to trust each other. Time will tell.
yes, there is spark... just no flame yet. I am hoping for a little heat this Friday
dude! what was that suppose to mean?
lol
ok, ok, ok, i admit i did not read the whole post, just perused it some. work actually expects me to work! what is wrong with these people?
trust your gut, jon. i think you'll have your answers soon, as long as you listen to your own instincts.
good luck!
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