My three worst dates

I strolled through Chrissies blog where she asked everyone to tell about their three worst dates.
This was an interesting question. I have had so many, but I guess there are a few that really stand out.

#1 Yahoo my ass
I met Marcia through Yahoo Personals. She seemed very nice, but a little shy when we talked on the phone. I immediately liked her (well what I heard from her), and we made a date. We met at one of my favorite brew pubs downtown. She had only been here for a couple months and didn't know what there was downtown. She arrived quite late. I almost felt like I was being stood up, but then she called because she was lost.

She finally arrived, and I gave her a hug. She was about 5'1" hispanic and very cute, but she was very shy. Wait, let me rephrase that. She was so shy it was like I was talking to a damn tree. I don't get too uncomfortable with the wierd silences that you have on early dates, but I am not used to being the only person talking all night. We finished dinner, well I did. She was too nervous to eat what she ordered. That was a full to go box.

I was trying to figure out what would break her out of this paralysis. I didn't want to take her to my brother's bar. The would add to my discomfort as well as her's I am sure. Some people would freak out about meeting a family member on a first date. I asked her if she wanted to go upstairs to the billiard room. She agreed in a sheepish way.

We got a table right away. My brother used to manage this place so the bartender, who is a friend of Mike's put me on the top of the list. She explained that she really sucked (she didn't lie), but that didn't matter to me. I just wanted to do something that might spur some conversation. It worked a little bit. I did get her to laugh a number of times.

Later I walked her to her car, gave her a hug and a little kiss and sent her on her way. I thought to myself that she might be fun if I can get her out a little from that shell.

She e-mailed me the next day to thank me, and to tell me that she couldn't date someone that is as forward as I am. I think my jaw hit the keyboard. I couldn't believe I was being called forward after that date. Damn, if that was forward I'm not even sure how to classify some of my "great" dates.
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#2 The Music Teacher
Tina was a music teacher at a grade school about 5 miles from where I live. She also contacted me through an on-line personals ad sometime in 2002. She did not have a picture on her profile, which is typically a BIG red flag to me. I'm not sure why I opened up so easily to her other than that maybe we were both into music. She seemed really nice, and wanted to talk to me on the phone right away. This woman had the sexiest voice I have ever heard. I even joking asked her if she works part time for a phone sex line. She was very charming, and toward the end of the call she kind of got a little sexually suggestive. It both excited me and set off more red flags at the same time. I backed away a little bit. I asked her to send me a picture. She said she'll have to scan one in and get it to me in the next day or so. She told me I won't be disappointed. The way she said that put a vision in my mind of receiving some sexually explicit photo of her.

A day or 2 pasted and I got an e-mail from her with her picture. Nothing sexual about it... Damn. She was fairly pretty and a little heavy, but not bad at all. We talked some more over the next week or so when she asked if I wanted to meet for lunch. Although I like to be the one to ask I didn't mind. Instead of suggesting a time and place she asked me to pick her up. I thought this was strange since most people are a lot more careful than this. I got to her town house, she yelled out the window from upstairs for me to come in. Her place was nice, but fairly cluttered. She wasn't even close to being ready to go. She came downstairs in her silk robe and I saw that she was WAY heavier than she was in her picture (so why was I not going to be disappointed?).

I am not one to just cut and run. She finished getting ready and we headed to a place for lunch that she picked out. I live on the east part of town, She lives on the south end of town, so of course she wants to eat up on the north end... Whatever. It was a good restaurant, but nothing to be thrilled about. We talked a while and we headed back to her place. She was in the middle of some story so she asked me to come in so she could finish.

Before I knew what was going on she changed the subject and started taking touching herself. I was in shock. I could not believe someone would act like this. I got out of there untouched and without disease as fast as I could. After that she would call me all times of the day or night. She would IM me if she saw me on (I quickly set her to ignore). It was a month or so before the hone calls stopped. After not having any contact with her for more than a year I remember going through my yahoo IM ignore list and clearing it out. Most of them were scam artists that would have been removed by now, but I also cleared hers out. Miraculously she IMed me within just a few minutes of being off the ignore list. "Hey, how's it going sexy?"

Needless to say, my kids will never be going to that school.

#3 KimRX

Here's a long build up...

Within a month after my ex and I split I was unemployed (company shutdown) and not feeling too good about myself. I had to go to the doctor to get all my meds re-prescribed for the year (allergies and asthma if you must know). I have my prescriptions filled at a Walgreens right down the street from my house. I took my stack of 6 or 7 scripts to them and had them fill 2 of them and put the rest on hold. I went back later that day to pick the 2 up which is when I saw Kim, the pharmacy tech. I had seen her before but never really paid much attention. She was very pretty and was very nice to me. Maybe I was hallucinating, seeing things that I wanted to see now that I was "single".

I had to go in a few weeks later for one of the meds I had on hold. I thought about the previous time I was in and looked forward to seeing Kim again. Alas, she was not there. I got my stuff and headed out. I was walking down one of the aisles and then she turn up the same aisle. She stopped and said a quick hi. For some bizarre reason I had the nerve to ask her out right then (totally unlike me). She immediately agreed, then asked if I could wait around for 10 minutes until she was on break so we could exchange numbers and talk.

I was kind of in a hurry, but I quickly ran next door and filled my truck with gas, then came back and met her on the bench outside the store. She was very sweet and we talked for her whole break. She asked me about my marital status. I knew this wasn't going to be good, but I told her the truth. That concerned her, but didn't make her break the date.

I called her the next day (I know I should have waited at least one more day, but I was stupid back then). We talked for about 30 minutes. She told me how she is a singer and was doing some recording. I asked her what kind of music. "Gospel", she said. I knew right then I was screwed. It came out how I don't go to church. She said she wouldn't hold that against me. I started thinking this was too perfect. She seemed really intelligent and sweet.

The next time we talked she seemed a bit different. She opened up and told me a lot of different things like how she was once a cage dancer at one of the nightclubs in town. This was a regular dance club, but they had girls dancing in the cages that were raised off the ground. This surprised me after our last conversation. She asked me if I had ever been to TNT's. This is a topless club in town. I told her that I had gone there a few times. I asked if she had worked there too. She said she could never do that, but she has a couple friends that work there. She asked me if I wanted to go there with her sometime (red flag). This was a little uncomfortable, but it wasn't like I wouldn't.

Eventually we made plans for a date. We originally were going to go see a movie, but then we changed plans because we wouldn't be able to talk. She suggested a bar and grill called Frankie's. I agreed, but we had to do this in the early afternoon on a weekday. She had her kids that week and needed to get them by 6 from her ex. I got to the bar first and got a seat as far from all the smokers as I could get. She came in a few minutes later and was recognized by a few people at the bar (red flag). She made her way around the bar and head toward me. I was TOTALLY blown away by her body. I was feeling a bit intimidated, but I figured hell, she agreed to go out with me.

We sat and ordered some nachos and drinks. I think hers was a rum & Coke, and I had a beer. We talked a lot and I felt really comfortable. She ordered another round of drinks. She actually asked me if I wanted to go to TNT's. I was in now way ready to do something like that, so I said let's save that for another time. Was I being tested?

She noticed these guys playing pool near by and asked if I wanted to play. I said sure, we can as soon as they're done. Well that wasn't good enough. She went over and challenged these 2 guys to a game. I started getting uncomfortable. These guys were complete scum. One of them clearly married and hitting on her hard. She was good at deflecting it (a seasoned pro?).

She kept drinking and these guys were both pouring it on. I asked the guys to chill out when she was distracted. They did for a minute. She was getting pretty drunk, then she told these guys how I didn't want to go to TNT's with her (BIG FUCKING RED FLAG!!!). That was as cold as you can get. Of course they both said they would go with her. My comfort level just took a kamikaze nose dive. She asked me to reconsider... basically making it sound like if I don't go she'll be going with them. I reluctantly agreed to go only because I figured if I was not there she would be in serious trouble. I told her I was going to hit the bathroom, then we could go. When I came out they were all gone. Remember, she needed to pick up her kids by 6. This was around 4.

I did not go to TNT's. I did not need to feel responsible for her after all this. I called her house and left her a message asking her to call me when she got home so that I don't need to call the cops looking for her dead body in a ditch somewhere.

She returned my call around 8 and asked me why I didn't go to TNT's. Was she that drunk that she didn't hear me say that we would leave when I got out of the restroom? She apologized and told me she would make up for it the next time we went out. She called a few times, but we never made plans to see each other again. I started getting my prescription threw mail order so I hardly ever saw her at Walgreens.

I ran into her again many months later at the McDonald's right next door to the Walgreens. I was there with my kids and she had one of hers and was with a girlfriend. I waved when I noticed she was looking at me. Our kids were all up playing so she came over to talk to me. She asked how I was doing and asked if I got back with my ex. She assumed that Irene would change her mind and want to come back. Well she was right about that, but I had told Irene no.

She told me that her ex was moving out of town for work and her son was going with him. She just about broke down crying talking to me about it.

Kim said she still owed me a date. She asked if I would be up for that. I said ok, but I am sure I didn't look too enthusiastic.

She was a party girl, and I had no room in my life for that. I never heard from her again.

I learned 2 important things from Kim.
#1 Hot younger girls will go out with me... I was not an ugly duckling like my ex made me feel
#2 Hot younger girls can be really fucked up.

I would like to TAG: Tara, Melly, Ava, Ailyn, Le Synge Bleu, SGT,