My lack of religion

I was asked by someone in this fabulous bloggy world after I made a comment in his blog, "Why have you never been religious? Has it just never come up or are you trying to be a spiritual Switzerland?". He was not being judgmental, just being curious.

I used to just avoid talking about religion because it made me uncomfortable because of my ignorance, but over the years I have discussed various aspects of my lack of religion. I figure here is a good place to answer Zane's questions...

My immediate family has never gone to church together. My mother and father went regularly when they were young. I went to church a few times with friends and neighbors as a kid, but very infrequently. I didn't know why we didn't go as a family. When I was about 9 or 10 I asked my mom . For me to remember all of this means that I thought very hard about it.

The reason was that my dad had been married before and divorced, and that divorced people were excommunicated from the Catholic church. Then she went on to say that since she married someone that was divorced that she was not allowed either. I didn't pry any further since I was hardly even aware that my dad had been married before (let alone that this was his 3rd marriage). I kind of wanted to get away from the subject since discussing my dad being previously married made me uncomfortable. I don't think my mom liked talking about it either. I often wondered why getting a divorce (which was very rare in those days) would cause such a severe reaction. Over the years I ran into other questions about various religions that added to my confusion.

I know I am generalizing here, but I think my main problem with religions in general is that they all think they are right and others are wrong. It made me wonder if any of them were right. The more I thought about it the less I cared for any organized religion.

Back when I was about 20 I went to church one time with my girlfriend and her family. I don't remember the denomination for sure, but I think it was Methodist. I paid attention to what the preacher was saying until he started making fun of Catholics. This irritated me, not because my affiliation with the Catholic church through family, but because he was making fun of another religion.

I have friends that belong to various religions. I asked around why this joke made any sense. One of my best friends told me how various Christian religions started out as the same, then as various doctrines were put in place people were out raged and they split off to make there own religion. My friend asked me if I believed in God, my reply, "I don't know". He explained that I am agnostic. He explained that it means that I am unsure about the existence of God. I agreed with him.

My ex-wife called me an atheist many times over the years which of course was absolutely wrong. I don't judge people because of what religion they belong, so I also don't think it is fair that I be judged because I am what Zane called spiritual Switzerland.

I appreciate the good that churches do for people. Then there is the assistance that the churches give to the needy. I have a lot of respect for my religious friends in how they get involved with the church groups. They create a feeling of community that is missing in today's society.

But the there are so many things I don't understand, like why churches need to try to recruit me? I don't mean the Jehovah's Witnesses or the Mormons that tend to be the ones that do the majority of the "recruiting". Maybe it's the fact that I live in Colorado Springs "religion central" Colorado, but there are groups that routinely come through the neighborhood trying to get people to their churches. They make judgment on me because I don't go to church.

My friend Sam told me a number of years ago that his brother-in-law is a preacher in his wife's home town in Minnesota. Sam explained that his brother-in-law had a good talk with him one day when visiting here. He stated that Sam was not a bad person because he did not go to church. He told Sam that he acted like more of a Christian than most Christians do. There are so many people that go to church, but don't follow what the church teaches them.

Is it not enough that I treat people with decency and dignity and to quote Spike Lee's powerful message, "Do the right thing"? Maybe I don't have the morals of the average church go-er, but that doesn't make me a bad person. I have made mistakes, done some immoral things, and I have even hurt people (my recent break up, for example). I know I am not perfect, but my intensions are always good.

When I was with Chantel I met her in-laws. They thought I was a nice guy, and seemed to like how I got along with their family, even Chantel's husband. I was warned that they are very religious, so there may be some tension on this subject. Well it never came up when I was around. One day when Chantel was at their house with her kids they found out that I was not a religious person. All of a sudden I was on the shit list. What gets me is that I was dating a married woman (Chantel and her husband were not divorced), but that fact wasn't an issue.

There are too many hypocrites in the world as it is. I don't want to be one of them. I am who I am.