Getting Back With Exes

Back at the beginning of August, 2 days after all the crap with Chantel had gone down, and old girlfriend of mine, Rayette, called me while I was at work. When I saw her name come up on my cell phone caller ID I immediately thought the worst. I figured Chantel had gone through my address book and started calling girls she knew I had dated. I was pleasantly surprised when she was just coincidentally calling me to see if I would like to go out to dinner sometime.

I typically stay in good standing with most of the women I have dated. Some of them I stay friends with, and others call me when they need their computers fixed or upgraded. Rayette and I dated about 2 years ago. She had ended our relationship after about 3 months for some reasons that she told me, and I am sure many others that she didn't. Communicating is a problem for her. I was very much in love with her, and could not figure out why things got so bad between us.

She would call me up from time to time for computer help, but it was a major ordeal for me to help her because she lives an hour away. Then last year she called and was trying to mend things between us romantically, but because of something I said to her son that she misunderstood, she broke it off again.

This phone call was going well. She apologized for how she ended things and told me that she now knows I wasn't trying to be a father to her kids (long story). We had a really good conversation catching up on what's been going on. I told her about just breaking up with someone, but I didn't go into any details. She kind of backed away thinking that I was still in the middle of a relationship. I promised her that the relationship was over.

She called me later in the day while I was in a meeting so I couldn't take the call. She left this really sweet message saying a bunch of things that she apparently forgot to say during the previous call. Stuff about how she knows I am a good dad, and that she really wants to have a relationship with me. It was like music to my ears.

That night after work was the night that Chantel started talking about killing herself. I knew I was going to be buried in drama for a while. This was not good. I called Rayette back the next day and told her that things were a mess with the ex-girlfriend and that we should hold off on dinner for a while so that she wouldn't get pulled into the drama. I was also realizing that I needed some time to get my life back in order. I told her that I still wanted to get together, but I would call as soon as the drama was over.

Apparently she mulled things over and still thought that maybe I was breaking up with Chantel to be with her. She called while I was dealing with the Chantel crap that night to tell me that she was sorry that she called me and to forget about dinner. I knew what was going through her head, but I had other shit to deal with.

I have gone almost 2 months and had not called Rayette. Part of me was thinking she didn't want to hear from me, while the other part was telling me she was hoping that I would be free and clear and would call. Well, I finally called her Thursday night. Her voicemail answered right away. I just left a simple "Call me when you get a chance" message. Friday afternoon she called me back. We set up a tentative date for Saturday. She had some plans with some of the girls she works with to go to the Chili and Frejole Festival, but was thinking they were going to flake out on her.

Well Saturday came and went for the most part. I had given up on her calling when she finally called at 8 p.m. She had worked the night before (12 night shift), and forgot to set her alarm. She asked me if I had eaten yet. I hadn't, but it was already 8 and I had an hour drive there and an hour back. It wouldn't be much of a date. I guess I hesitated or some other negative signal because she said "Maybe we should just reschedule". We talked for a few more minutes made plans to go out on Wednesday night and said our goodbyes.

I thought to myself after getting off the phone that I should have just gone down there. If I really want to get back together I should just get off my ass and go. I called her back... no answer. Did I piss her off by not being enthusiastic about coming late? Time will tell.

Today she called me back. She said she must have been in the shower when I called. She ended up meeting her friends at the festival. She informed me that she forgot that she had a change in her work schedule. She has to work Wednesday. I was thinking I was about to be blown off (I must be getting cynical) when she said she would skip her book club meeting and go out on Tuesday if I am free. How can I say no when she is passing up being with a bunch of women talking about the latest smutty book they've all read?

I have mixed feeling about getting back with Rayette. I think it can work if she will try to communicate with me right when things happen instead of holding it in and letting it stew. Nothing that had happened between us before was so bad that it warranted a break up, but when you don't try to work it out you are doomed. I don't want to be doomed. I'm unfortunately going to have to have a difficult talk with her about this stuff and lay down some ground rules. I hope she is okay with this.

Sorry that was so long... I figured you needed the background. Wish me luck.