I have a 3 day weekend coming up next weekend, and I have been invited by my friend Michelle to Arizona. Remember her from the Vegas trip? I am going, but with some apprehension (I already know that some of you wouldn't want me to go).
Michelle is very excited that I am coming to see her. When we finally met a few months ago (after a couple years of knowing each other only through e-mail, IM and eventually phone calls) it was a little strange to finally get to hold her. It was almost like we didn't know each other at all. Then it hit me that I probably know this woman better than I know any woman I have dated in the past 4+ years. Another thing that threw me when meeting was that she was even more beautiful than I thought she would be. Her pictures and a couple times on the webcam did not do her justice. It was pretty easy to get past the initial meeting and start enjoying our time together.
She and I are going to end up in a major dilemma. We both care about each other, but then we also know that every time we get together we're going to be miserable when we part. It effects me a lot. I know it hits her really hard. The last time we were together it was very hard to say goodbye.
It was difficult to talk to each other afterward when we were back in our respective homes. I would talk to her and she would be sad that we couldn't be together more. It would upset me to be the source of her sorrow. The frequency of our phone calls, e-mail and IM decreased. It took a month or more before we were comfortable talking openly again. But of course that inevitably started the cycle back up of us wanting to get together. I think the 2 of us are doomed to be torturing each other every few months until we find someone else that we're serious about or one of us decides we need to move closer to the other.
11 comments:
Question.
As a rule.
Is this now a societical norm among Americans (assumption of a type, of course)?
If you are referring to long distance relationships, I don't know if it is the "societal" norm, but I belive it is growing, and is somewhat excepted.
I have had many friends that have done this. Most of them I know only on-line. I think this is another result of the Internet age. Maybe someof my local single friends have done this too. I'm not sure.
I think that some people use the distance as a way of keeping the relationship in check. They like it that way. I'm not that type of person.
My friend Nikki says I have to go for the long distance relationship because I've already dated all of the women here in Colorado Springs. [flick in the head].
the agony and the ecstacy, eh?
one of my friends keeps trying to fix me up with guys who live 500 miles away, and i just won't go for it, in large part because of the dilemma you describe. it was hard enough having that distance in an established relationship (which i did for a year or two), much less trying to create a new one.
good luck, sweetie.. and i hope you have a good time.
Considering I'm attempting the long distance relationship route-- you're thoughts put things a little more in perspective for me. Bummer.
awww...Poor Jon...{{{{blog hugs!)))
The sincerity is just oozing out there Echotig
What?? You don't really want to know what I think. You think you know what I think already. I think you want my sympathy and not my stellar advice, so you got blog hugs.
You get to go have a fun filled sex weekend and we are all s'posed to feel sorry for you?
BAH!
Fine...If you really loved her you'd move. If she really loved you SHE'D move. So THERE. I said it.
Why do you make say these things, Jon?
Echo...
I was expecting you to give me shit about this. Thats what friends do.
I am certainly not expecting anyone to feel sorry for me. I was just stating what is going on.
It would take a lot more time before I could say that the "love" between us is big enough to commit to any kind of moving. Our physical connection has just begun. I think it would be foolish to jump right into making a long distance relationship serious.
Do I think that maybne someday we could be together? Yes, it's possible. But I have also become a bit cynical in the past couple years, so my optimism is low.
This sad yet romantic story makes me think of lyrics from the timeless Journey song "Faithfully"
Circus life under the big top world
We all need the clowns to make us Laugh
Thats all.
The long distance relationships always have me puzzled. I never understood them Jon. I have a friend who dated this girl who lived in Cape Town, South Africa. My friend lived in New Jersey. The plane trip was 17 hours long. They saw each other once a year, and I couldn’t understand it. My friend would say, “Oh I’m so in love with her- I would never cheat on her, yada yada yada…” As soon as another girl came along---BAM! She cheated.
I never trusted long distant relationships. They’re not ‘real’ to me. (In my own opinion) It’s like pretending to have a relationship---and then ‘playing house’ when the two do meet up.
I’m sorry that you went through a bit of a heartbreak with this one, but I would definitely stick to someone who lives a little closer. If the two of you were planning on relocating, I can definitely see it.
Hope you’re doing well Jon!
BWH - I'm glad I can amuse you
Deb - Michelle and I are friends first and foremost. What you said about 'playing house' is similar to what's been going through my head.
Laurie - I didn't intend this post to be a plee for advice, but I guess being the bloggies that we are it goes in that direction reguardless. Thanks for the good wishes. They are appreciated.
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