I suppose this is an occasion to celebrate.
I have been lazy when it comes to posting lately. Sometimes I am motivated and post multiple times in a week, but mostly you're lucky to hear from me twice a month.
The real world tends to get in the way a lot. I might feel bad about that, but I can't. I have had a really good year even though I went through a lay off.
Many of the friends I made at my short time at the last company will stay relatively close. We do our geeky gaming sessions which I enjoy so much. I have so many friends now, both in real life and in blog life. I appreciate all, but for some reason I tend to alienate everyone somehow. Mostly due to lack of attention.
I am have a "feeling sorry for myself" spell these days. I guess I am one of those people that will never be completely happy. Depression is setting in. I am thinking that it is due to work stress, but I know there are some other reasons too.
I am coming up on a year with MS. It's been a great year with her... but... (there's always a but) I just don't know where it's going. I am totally freaked out anytime someone says anything about us being serious or getting married. I have been trying to picture being with her for the rest of my life. I can't do it.
Is my depression making me so relationship-phobic?
I am running the risk of lossing some good female friends. I feel like I am pushing my luck with MS by keeping female friends in my life. You see MS has a jealous streak. I have been very honest with her about my friends. Yet I feel like I am doing something wrong when I spend time with them. MS has never said anything about it. It's just a feeling I get that says she doesn't approve.
Maybe some of this is from the intensive brainwashing I got when I was married.
What to do?
10 comments:
happy blogiversary, jon! i do wish you'd post more often, but i certainly understand the whole life-getting-in-the-way thing. dang.
as for the relationship stuff... that's a toughie. but i do know i'd be troubled by the notion of having to limit contact with my male friends because of a jealous boyfriend.
do you feel like you're just marking time in this relationship?
You wanna know what I think? IM me sometime.
1st - congrats - cool pic.
2nd - NEVER EVER, give up your friends for a girl, even if they are girl friends.......I would never give up my guy friends, for a man. DON'T DO IT. This is coming from a woman, listen to me. She is wrong for being jealous. you are honest with her and that is the important thing. There you have it, my 2 cents.
Ok...this is my opinion. Why do you have to get married? Unless you're having kids...marriage doesn't always have to be an option. As for your friends...you need your friends!!!! They are a big part of your life. Just from past experiences...I "got rid" of a few of my male friends when I had dated one guy years ago. BIG mistake because that guy is no longer in my life, mainly due to jealousy and insecurity issues and the choice I made strained my friendships. But I know that everyone is different. I just know that I was married once...and it wasn't for me. Nor will it ever be. I will live with someone and that's the most they will ever get from me.
Now aren't you glad you asked? Hang in there Jon...and take it one day at a time. That's all we can ever do.
;o)
Terry... it's a tough call either way. I have no idea what I am doing.
Echo... Thanks hun. I know you feel I get tired of your blunt honesty, but I don't... ever
Jodes... Thanks for your 2 cents. Well spent.
Jillie... I am not 100% against marriage. I believe that it is something I could do, someday. I appreciate your advice.
Waving at you JON. Hope your days are brighter this week.
hey jon jon.....where ya been, come over. ;)
Happy 2nd blogiversary!
Just thought I'd let you know I'm still around... as in, not dead.
Hope you're doing great :)
hey Jon, I just saw your comment, thanks - I feel the same way and you know you can email me anytime. come on over again, I got more pics for all. ;)
hello, where are you?
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