Deep breaths

Again, thank you all for the kind words.

I know some people have this need to see a person that has died to say their last goodbyes. I am not one of them. Seeing someone displayed in a coffin creeps me out more than anything else I can think of.

The wake was fine otherwise. I got to see some relatives that I hadn't seen in a long time. One of my aunts flew in from California. I guess the last time I saw her I was about 18 months old. Funny how time flies. She is in her early 90s, but has a ton of energy for her age. She amazed me.

I loved catching up on all the stories with my cousins and their kids. I just wish we got together more than an occasional holiday, and now due to the death of their mom/grandmother. As with all occasions with relations on my mom's side their was a lot of laughing when we got back to my cousin's house. This is the way I would want to be remembered.

My sister being in town was great. We didn't get to just hang out except for Monday evening when we went to dinner with my brother and my kids.
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I've been back to work for 2 weeks now. My predecessor was a total fuck up. I asked my boss stright out in our one-on-one meeting (we have them every Friday), "Did Jim leave on his own?" He knew what I was asking. Yes, it was an inappropriate question, but I had to know. He got shit-canned. I explained that I was assuming so with the state of things.

There is so much for me to fix that I asked my manager and our vice prez if we could bring in an IBM consultant to get some of the bigger things fixed since this would make it happen faster. They were all for it.

I met our CEO the other day. He's a really nice guy. Very short, but really nice. He does a "orientation" meeting for all the new employees to kind of give the new folks an understanding of where the company came from and where it is headed. I was impressed.

I have been getting a ton of resistance for the software developers. Many of them are not happy with the switching of the tools (to the ones I am in charge of). I have found that the same folks that drive to change our lives with better software are the worst at accepting change in their own environments. Many of them were happy with the old tools, but the company needed some features that the other tool didn't provide. Well, with their switch to the new tool it didn't get any better because the implementation was so screwed up that half the shit didn't work, or they were never trained in how to use it.

I have won some people over just by sitting with them and showing them what they needed to do. A couple of them were thrilled to see something work for them. Yes, it was a lot like baby sitting, but I needed to win over some people. I swear, if I have to hear one more person say "StarTeam was so much easier to use", or "How come ClearCase can't do this?", I am going to drop a duece on someone's desk. Oh what the fuck, people? Give it up! I am here to move things forward, not move you back in time.

I am starting to think my boss doesn't like having meetings with me. Everytime we meet I have to tell him about the new problems I uncovered. I think I was going to cause a heart attack the other day.

Needless to say, it's moving along. Every day I have a few victories that make me hopeful that there is a light at the end of the tunnel (hopefully that isn't a train coming to run my sorry ass down). I think I have uncovered the moajority of the problems. A priority list is already in progress.

People ask me, "Why don't you do this kind of work as a consultant?" Well, I did for a while. There are good things and bad things about being a consultant. You can step in, set people up and get them working, then walk away knowing you did a good job (and not have to deal with the problems that people (developers in particular) eventually cause). You just move on to the next contract and take on their challenges. The bad thing about that is it wears on you. You are constantly bombarded with problems to solve and you never get time to just sit back and watch the process work. I like seeing it work. I enjoy the feeling I get when I witness the milestones that we hit. Celebrating the victories, or picking ourselves off the floor when something goes wrong.

Now I just have to remember to breath.