Friday, May 13, 2005

Lacking time when unemployed?

It is unbelievable how busy I am considering I am out of work STILL.

I get calls everyday from recruiters trying to fill a position here or there. I unfortunately got submitted for the same job by 3 different recruiters. I hope they didn't throw my resume out because of that. I was actually contacted by 7 different recruiters for that same position. I am being a lot more careful when talking to recruiters now. I don't want that happening again.

Chantel has been really good about how I need to leave the room sometimes during a phone screening or interview. Unfortunately I had no choice but to have to do one in the car with her kids the other day. She was great about keeping her kids to a whisper during the phone call in her car.

I am still in the running for the job I wrote about before. I had a phone interview this morning and have a face-to-face interview on Tuesday. I was more nervous with this interview than the dozens upon dozens that I have been through these past couple months. I guess it is because (1) I am getting desperate and (2) I would really like to work with some of my old colleagues again. The phone interview went well. I am hopeful for a good out come. They want to move fast on hiring someone so the fact that I am immediately available is an advantage (but why did it take them weeks to contact me after getting my resume?).

Lots of birthdays have been going on. My nieces Katie and Emma both had birthdays these past few weeks. I have been wanting to fly out to California to see Billy, Pam, and Emma before they move to Connecticut. They found a house near the New York border. It is a very cute place. I just am amazed as the sticker price. How can you people afford to live in such expensive places.

John and Katie and a bunch of my sister Paula's friends got together to plant a tree that was delivered to Paula's memorial. At the memorial the tree was loaded full of notes tied to each branch with small remembrances of my sister. Writing about her still makes me cry.

John called my mom on Mother's Day. My brother Mike and I where there so we talked to him a bit. It still sounds like he is unsure of himself without Paula around. He is such a great guy. It's hard to lose my sister, but they had been married for 30 years (it would have been 31 last month). I can't imagine the whole this has left in his life. They have a lot of really close friends. They do keep his spirits up, but I am sure they also reminisce about Paula a lot too. We all do.

The boy's baseball schedule is intense. They have 2 or 3 games a week, plus the caches want to schedule more practices. Do they not realize these kids are still in school or that there is more to life than baseball?

Erik's (7 years old) team has not been doing well these past few games. This level of baseball they have kids pitching, but if they get 4 balls a coach steps in to pitch. Our coach is horrible at pitching to the kids. I have had to be the umpire of 2 recent games. The other coaches seem to have it down, but Erik's coach doesn't seem to get it. I also believe we have a less mature group of kids than most of the others. Those 2 things together makes it tough to score runs.

Kevin's (12 years old) team has been doing well. They win some they lose some. Lately a lot of losses. Some of this I think is because Kevin was injured. He has been their starting catcher, but a few games ago he severely jammed his catching thumb making it hard to squeeze the glove. Not good for a catcher. He has been playing a lot of right field. I guess I get used to the fact that Kevin is such a great catcher that when one of the other kids steps in I worry and get upset. I don't say anything, but seeing the game be lost because the replacement catcher keeps dropping the ball, or over throwing when trying to get someone out that is stealing bases, gets me all worked up. Kevin is healing and should be back to catching either this Saturday or the game on Tuesday.

Chantel and I are still doing very well although we ran into a big snag this week. Chantel wants to have majority custody of all of her kids. Her oldest son is VERY smart and is very involved in his school. She wants him to like the schools that are down here (I cannot move to her town). She broke up with me for a short time the other day because she was sure the middle school here would not work for him. She wants to do what is right for her kids, even at the expense of her own happiness. I was not going to lose her like that. I quickly called her and convinced her to not end things, and that we should look at the schools down here to make sure they will work. I am perfectly willing to make other changes, like moving to a different neighborhood if that is what it takes, as long as I don't effect my time with my own kids.

She came to see me that night (without the kids). Unfortunately her youngest had to go to the ER because of some blood in his ear. We knew he was in good hands with her (soon to be) ex, but we went up to the hospital to give her some peace of mind. They could not find anything wrong. We came back down to my place. She spent the night, but had to be back up to take get her kids to school.

She brought the kids down the other day to look at the schools. The Elementary school was liked by all. I knew that was not going to be a problem since I knew it was a good school. Kevin went there K-5, and Erik went there for Kindergarten before changing to the school 2 blocks away from Irene's house. Then we went over to the middle school. I knew very little about this school since Kevin goes to a different middle school, again because they are registered using Irene's address. We were hoping we could get him into Kevin's middle school, but the district is over crowded and they won't allow it. The middle school that he will need to go is what I would consider as sub-standard. We were very unhappy with the lack of programs. He goes to a similar sized public school that has an orchestra (he plays viola), plus they don't do anything as far as a student counsel (which he is very involved in). There were other things, but those were 2 big hits against it. He didn't like it, but said he would make due (he is such a good kid). Chantel and I both told him not to worry about it because we would not make him go there. We now have to start looking at other options.

We knew going into a relationship that our kids were very important to us both. We both know that we will need to make compromises, but we also both know that we want what is best for the kids. We have to figure this all out. One thing I don't want to do is lose her. That to me is not an option. I have dated a number of women in my life, but not one has made me fall in love as much as she has (yes, including my ex).

Sometime I think about changing my arrangement so that I could live up in that area, making it only possible to have the kids every other weekend. The thought of that scares me. Am I being to inflexible? Would they resent me for doing this? I know my ex can take good care of them. I just don't want to miss out on so much of there lives. I am not a perfect parent. Would they do better in school and life by not moving from house to house every week? Do I sacrifice some time with my kids so that I can be with the woman that I love?

2 comments:

echotig said...
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Anonymous said...

As your friend I would tell you somewhat of the same. But I also have to say that both need to compromise. But I want the best for all the children and in my head the bigger house and huge yard and nice neighborhood and the better schools are the best for the kids. But that doesn't necessarily need to be all of my way, there are other neighborhoods and I am willing to do all of the running the kids around to all of their stuff, and not be in any kind of daycare. People have different ideas of what is important. That is what you should stick to and compromise on the rest of the stuff. You definitely have great friends that are looking out for you. Take it all in. Love you.