I keep going back...

It's been almost a year since I broke things off with MS. It stills feels wierd, and I don't know why. As I analyze things in my own head I know that the reasons I broke it off were very good reasons. Yet I did care for her quite a bit... obviously not enough to keep it going.

Well, I'm not sure if I have blogged about this at all, but she is now dating one of my best friends. She and my friend Dan met because of the game nights that we would put together. Part of me is jealous, but then I keep wondering why. Although I was the one that broke it off, I guess I don't let go sometimes. It was a number of months ago that Dan told me they were dating. I was honest with him and told him that it did give me some anxiety, but I also told him that it is just something I will deal with. Dan assured me that there was nothing going on between them with she and I were together. I wasn't concerned about that at all.

Two weekends ago I hosted game night. This was the first time I had seen them together as a couple. At first it was a bit uncomfortable, but that feeling did pass. I almost cracked at one point because she she always called me "baby" when talking to me. Well, now Dan is baby, but I almost responded. Dan and I are good enough friends that we would have laughed it off, but there was a couple there that was new to the group, so it could have made for an interesting explanation.

Another ex-girlfriend contacted me a few weeks ago. I met up with her last week to watch some football. I have gone back to dating her a couple times now, and each time things didn't work out (duh). The last time I broke it off because she wanted to just be friends. With some ex-girlfirends that works for me, but this one I fell for hard a number of years ago. There is one thing I know... my feelings for her have always been more than friends. I ended the "relationship" last time after 2 month because I wanted more than just being friends.

I don't know what will result from this. It was so great to just talk and get caught up. A lot has gone on in both of our lives. I am very hesitant to get too close at this point, and I know a few of you are just rolling your eyes. I do need to see this through. We'll see if we're at all compatible.

My kids and I are driving to Michigan in about a week and a half. Mom has had her surgery and is doing very well. I hope this was a long term fix. She sounded really good on the phone the other day.

I need to get the Malibuick (this is what the guys at work call my Malibu) in for some maintenance before the trip. I have had the car since January, and I rolled over 24,ooo miles today... UGH! When I picked it up it had 7 miles on it.

The Many Layers of Jon

Layer One: On the Outside
Name: Jon, Noj, Shankenstein, Shankbone, Harvey
Birthday: just over 2 months away
Current Location: Kitchen, avoiding cleaning the floor after last nights party
Eye Color: Green-ish... used to be very blue
Hair Color: Brown, with a tiny hint of gray
Righty or Lefty: Righty, and trying to be a switch hitter (basebal, you pervs)
Zodiac Sign: Saggy

Layer Two: Just Below the Surface
Your Weakness: I have a hard time telling friends no
Your Goal: Successful in parenting, work, and relationships
Your Fears: Failing my kids; embarrassment

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: I don't want to go to work
Your bedtime: When I get around to it
Your most missed memory: My sister. The pain of losing her is slowly going away, but I miss the fact that I can never talk to her anymore

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Dr. Pepper
McDonald's or Burger King: Chipotle
Single or Group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: New Balance... I need a EE width
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Tazo Chai
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla with some additions like reeces pieces, or peanut butter cups
Cappuccino or Coffee: again, Tazo Chai

Layer Five: Do You?
Smoke: Hell no.. never even tried it
Have a crush: Constantly
Think you've been in love: Due to the pain following, I would say yes
Want to get married: Maybe
Believe in yourself: Most of the time
Think you're a health freak: Bad health freak

Layer Six: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: More this month than most
Gone to the mall: Only when necessary
Eaten Sushi: Love it! Spicey Tuna Roll is the best
Gone skating: not for a hell of a long time
Dyed your hair: Never

Layer Seven: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: No, but if you ladies are willing ;-)
Gotten beaten up: Not really. I fought my brother all the time when I was a kid, but I don't think we ever did much damage to ourselves. Other fights never lasted long.
Changed who you were to fit in: No way... I usually tell people how they are being Lemmings when they do that.

Layer Eight: Getting Old
Age you’re hoping to be married: Does age really matter after your first.
Plastic Surgery or Wrap: No, but I do moisturize
Buried or Cremated: Cremated. Why waste the land?

Layer Nine: Perfect Mate
Best Eye Color: Blue
Best Hair Color: Auburn
Short or Long Hair: Doesn't matter, just take care of it.

Layer Ten: What were you doing...
1 HOUR AGO: Reading blogs
1 WEEK AGO: Replacing my water heater. That was a shity day.
1 MONTH AGO: I was in San Diego
1 YEAR AGO: Working, slaving

Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence
I LOVE: My my kids
I HATE: Being put in situations where I know my decisions will cause others difficulty
I HIDE: In my house
I MISS: My family
I NEED: To get going on a lunch date