I keep going back...

It's been almost a year since I broke things off with MS. It stills feels wierd, and I don't know why. As I analyze things in my own head I know that the reasons I broke it off were very good reasons. Yet I did care for her quite a bit... obviously not enough to keep it going.

Well, I'm not sure if I have blogged about this at all, but she is now dating one of my best friends. She and my friend Dan met because of the game nights that we would put together. Part of me is jealous, but then I keep wondering why. Although I was the one that broke it off, I guess I don't let go sometimes. It was a number of months ago that Dan told me they were dating. I was honest with him and told him that it did give me some anxiety, but I also told him that it is just something I will deal with. Dan assured me that there was nothing going on between them with she and I were together. I wasn't concerned about that at all.

Two weekends ago I hosted game night. This was the first time I had seen them together as a couple. At first it was a bit uncomfortable, but that feeling did pass. I almost cracked at one point because she she always called me "baby" when talking to me. Well, now Dan is baby, but I almost responded. Dan and I are good enough friends that we would have laughed it off, but there was a couple there that was new to the group, so it could have made for an interesting explanation.

Another ex-girlfriend contacted me a few weeks ago. I met up with her last week to watch some football. I have gone back to dating her a couple times now, and each time things didn't work out (duh). The last time I broke it off because she wanted to just be friends. With some ex-girlfirends that works for me, but this one I fell for hard a number of years ago. There is one thing I know... my feelings for her have always been more than friends. I ended the "relationship" last time after 2 month because I wanted more than just being friends.

I don't know what will result from this. It was so great to just talk and get caught up. A lot has gone on in both of our lives. I am very hesitant to get too close at this point, and I know a few of you are just rolling your eyes. I do need to see this through. We'll see if we're at all compatible.

My kids and I are driving to Michigan in about a week and a half. Mom has had her surgery and is doing very well. I hope this was a long term fix. She sounded really good on the phone the other day.

I need to get the Malibuick (this is what the guys at work call my Malibu) in for some maintenance before the trip. I have had the car since January, and I rolled over 24,ooo miles today... UGH! When I picked it up it had 7 miles on it.