Can you believe 2 posts in one week???
I've hired 2 guys and STILL trying to hire that guy in Oakland, but that whole situation is F-ed up.
My boss decided yesterday that I needed to go with him to Des Moine on Dec 19th to assess their situation as far as software configuration management and process goes. I'll only be there a day then come back. Then on the 22nd my brother and I leave for Michigan. Then while I am in Michigan I'll be working a bit to make sure things are running smothing at work. I feel guilty because the 2 new guys are going to be stuck holding down the fort. I am guessing that there won't be any issues the week of Christmas, but you never know.
I am puzzled. How much do I spend on a Christmas gift for my girlfriend? She was talking about buying a couple of things recently including what I wanted to get her, a Sirius Stiletto 100 (portable satellite radio). I told her not to buy anything the month of December if she can help it. HINT HINT! She is a gadget freak like most guys are. Well she figured out what I was planning on buying her, and told me it was too much to spend on her. Is $350 too much to spend on someone you've been dating for 8 months (I know, 8 months... hard to believe)?
My finances are great now. With my severance from Agilent I paid off all my credit card debt and am making a dent in my home equity line of credit. I think I need to refinance that before rates go up to much more. I am just so lazy about that shit.
I am not sure why, but I am feeling depressed still. Other than gaming night I have been very anti-social. MS has been out of town for work a lot lately, but I was kind of releaved by her absense. I guess I kind of feel like I need to be entertaining her more. Other than going to see the new Bond flick (which we loved) we haven't really gone out much. I can't quite put my finger on why I am feeling down about things.
As I meantioned, I had my gaming friends over this past weekend. As always we had a blast and a few drinks. MS's daughter came buy to play for a bit with us before going on on a date with a new guy she is dating. They were going to head downtown to watch the parade of lights. Well he showed up and joined in some of the games before they had to go, but when that time came they decided they would rather hang out with us. I was pretty impressed by the guy coming to a stranger's house to meet his dates mom, then joining us for most of the night.
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I meantioned a few posts back about a recruiter we have at work. She and I have had more than a few talks about the hell we are going through trying to hire someone for my Oakland position. Because of this we've kind of become friends.
The other day I found a mens sock just outside of my cubicle. I was kind of grossed out by it, but figured someone must have dropped it on their way to the workout room. A few of us in the area joked about it a lot. Then I decided to be funny and send out an e-mail about it to the whole office. As expected I got a shit load of joke e-mails back. I don't think the owner would dare claim it now.
Well one of the jokers was Rhonda (name changed, just in case). Just like with other e-mails we sent to each other, we had a lot of back and forth messages to each other. She is quite funny. Did I mention she is also extremely attractive? Anyway, during all of our e-mails she invited me to come to a party she is having at her house. She said I could bring a friend, but it seemed like "bring one of your buddies". I could totally have been reading too much into this, but it seemed like she was being more than just friendly about me coming over.
I know from a previous conversation with her that she does not have a boyfriend. I thought I had told Rhonda about MS. Maybe she forgot. I sat at my desk wondering what to do. The devil and angel jumped onto my shoulders and the debate started.
"You have MS"
"Rhonda is so funny and easy to talk to"
"Don't have another office romance... remember the last one?"
"But Rhonda is so gorgeous"
"You sure you would want to risk losing MS?"
"It's not like we're in a 'serious' relationship"
"What if you're reading too much into what Rhonda said?"
"Are you and MS going to get serious?"
"You're not going to know anyone their except Rhonda"
"Why can't shit like this happen when I'm single?"
I decided to tell Rhonda that I have a girlfriend, but I am not sure she could make it because she gets her kids that night. Her next e-mail became much less playful. She said we could bring the kids with us. Some of her other friends bring their kids. I told her that would probably not work, but I could ask.
I asked MS if she wanted to go. She has a sinus/respiratory infection she is fighting, and with her just getting back to town after 2 back to back business trips she was not feeling up to it. Plus she wanted to spend some time with her kids. She told me I could go if I wanted.
I was very tempted to go by myself, but I decided that nothing good could come of it. Plus she lives in Denver, so I would have to limit my drinking because of the long drive home.
So I am sitting here writing this instead of having a few drinks with a beautiful woman and her friends. I am pathetic.
14 comments:
that's not pathetic, jon. it sounds like you might have ended up in a very complicated situation if you'd gone, and who needs that?
hope the depression lifts soon...
Well, I felt pathetic.
No, I don't need or want to get into a complicated situation. Sometimes I wish the world was more black and white, no grays
Sorry if anyone was offended by the previous pic. I was just feeling like I had my head up my ass.
Ok...being a "girl" I am going to say no that's not too much...lol! Anyway...I hope things brighten up for you. P.S. my friend growing up use to have that picture in her room until her mother found it and tore it up. It actually brought back a great (?) memory and a good chuckle.
that's the thing about getting older and wiser. you see that the world is more gray than it is black and white...!
Chissie - I tried to call, but my work cell phone was acting up (piece of shit). I'll get my personal cell charged up and give you a shout. SMOOCH!
Jillie - I didn't think it was too much. If there is one thing I don't have a problem blowing money on is presents, and especially techno presents
Terry - I can wish can't I?
hi jon..
thanks for always checking up on me and my little blog! I had some good reasons for the absence, but I'll be back soon.. I read this post and thought: 'I didn't know he had MS, poor guy..' :-)
Chrissie - How many guys do you know in the 719 area code?
Tamar - You have some splaining to do
Depression around the holidays?
You and MS.
???
You don't talk or act like a guy madly in love/totally cherishing that woman.
8 months.
That's just about right, maybe a year or so, gives about the right amount of time to figure out a relationship.
An old bo once told me that it takes a guy a year to decided if he's marrying a gal or not. That was after we dated for 1.5 years.
We broke up not long after that. The little things started to become bigger things.
My mother told me you should marry someone who fits like a favorite pair of comfortable shoes.
Anyway, that's my two cents worth of family wisdom....
hey man, come on over for HNT....missing your witty comments.
I believe KSY has pegged it. If you were truly infatuated by your lady friend, then you wouldn't have been that tempted.
I'm unaware as to how long you've been divorced, but I say stay away from commitments for a long time. You're a different person and you need to get to know the new you and what you need and expect out of life. Take care.
KSY - good advice. I'll see if it sinks in.
The depression isn't really about MS and I. Mostly having to do with the second anniversay of my sister's passing. Work is still driving my stress. MS is good about not adding to it, but even though she tries she does cause some. I don't tell her this, but maybe I should.
I am very comfortable with MS, but I just don't know yet. I am totally on the fense. I have taken my time, for the most part, and what I have is this feeling of wondering "What if?". That probably doesn't make sense.
Jodes - Thanks
Stacy - You're right, and that may be part of my problem. I don't feel like I am anywhere but in limbo.
As for my divorce, it's been 5+ years. 6 since she left.
Jon, if you have time today, 12/20. Check out my blog. You are mentioned in my post. Have a nice day.
p.s. I'll get to that tagging soon.
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