3 Years later... Does anybody read this shit anymore?

I hope everyone is doing well.

My life has hardly changed in 3 years. It's kind of depressing. It needs to change.

Since my last posts, which is now ancient history...

Work is a mess. Nothing new there except my entire department, except for one guy, is gone. Lay-offs and resignations have gutted our department and now almost all of the work falls on my lap. I am not happy.

I ordered a Tesla Model 3. I stood in line back on March 31, 2016 to be one of the first to reserve one. I still don't have it, but it should be here in the next month or 2.

To go along with that, I have decided to put solar panels on the house. I can't wait for that to get installed in November.

My dating life is depressing...

When I last posted there was this non-relationship with Susan. That never changed. What did happen was more baseball trips and a lot of fun.

Unfortunately I ruined our friendship in ways. I started dating someone a couple years ago. Susan met her and loved her. But of course I had a problem. The girlfriend was a financial wreck. After dealing with a couple really bad decisions of hers that ended up costing me a lot of money to clear up, I decided a serious relationship was not going to work for me. This actually upset Susan in a couple different ways. She really liked how the gf and I were. She really was a great girlfriend outside of the messed up financial issues. This also made Susan think that I'm an idiot. We didn't argue about it, but it didn't feel good to have my friend not back me up on this. I guess it is the woman perspective that gets in the way.

Susan and I still did things together, but much less than before. She had a party/game night at her place, and was trying to set me up with a new friend, Lori. She seemed nice, so I asked her out to dinner. Well... dinner was OK, but I just didn't feel anything for her. I got the impression she wasn't into me either. We never went out again. I think this bothered Susan a lot, or maybe I read into her reaction.

Susan and I saw even less of each other...

Then a few months later I started going hiking with an old girlfriend, also named Susan. I'll call her SK. Well, SK and I had a relationship back  number of years that only lasted about 3 months. I am sure I blogged about it in some fashion. She was extremely jealous.

This time SK was very grounded, and no pressure. But I have note taken it to any level in the last year due to the fact that she is also a financial mess. I have let it just stay on cruise control, going in a straight line. We don't have sex, but enjoy each others company. But I can't get past the financial shit. She seems fine with a non-sexual relationship, but this is very hard to deal with.

Lately I have been depressed and not wanting to deal with SK at all. So we've not seen each other in over a month. We still send texts back and forth, but that's it.

I have not seen Susan since New Years Eve. We don't even talk. I find myself missing her a lot, but afraid to send her a text, or call. I am in a deep funk.