... other than a house with your shit in it?
One of my blogger buddies has been going through a divorce and she is dealing with the feeling of her ex that has kept the house they were in together.
I back her 100%, but I can also relate very well to both side of her dilema. She has moved on, he has not. He is still reminded of her everyday because he sees the things they did together with their house. Most of these feelings are gone from me, but once in a while they still come out.
I kept the house when I split with the ex. I had no choice really. I had just gotten word that I would be laid off. This was Oct 2001, and the job market was shit after 9-11. I knew that the house was a huge asset for me. We bought it below market prices and it was at the time worth 80% more than what we paid 7 years before. Unfortunately this meant I had to pay her half of that equity.
I was out of work for about 3 or 4 months, living on my severance pay. I took the first job I could get. It was a 35% pay cut. I was barely squeeking by and had to refinance the house. I debated about selling. I had good friends in the neighborhood. I was depressed. I decided to keep the house.
After a few job changes in the past 6 years I am back to what I was making in 2001. After just getting laid off from Agilent last June and getting a new job a month later I paid off all my debts except for the car and house. I have quite a bit in savings.
I live a pretty comfortable life, but I continue to wonder if I should get a smaller house. I certainly don't need all this space. It's nice that I can have a party once in a while, but my parties are usually very small. I have 5 bedrooms, a living room, dining room that I use maybe twice a year for an actual meal, a rec room that I have turned into a computer shop, and 4 bathrooms to clean.
My kids are with me every other week so I need to have rooms for them. I have 2 bedrooms that I do not use except for storage. I have been thinking of selling again. Right now it's a buyer's market. Lot's of houses for sale, and they aren't moving very quickly. I am sure that will change when more military troops get stationed at Fort Carson. The military here in Colorado Springs drives the economy. Unfortunately it also drives the political pulse of the area.
I don't take care of the house all that well. Sometimes I feel bitter about being left with the house in the divorce. I tend to ignore problems until I either get motivated, or the problem gets a lot worse. Maybe I'm just lazy.
I am certainly not going to be moving out of the area. I do work in Denver, but I can't (and won't) take my kids from their mother. I see myself eventually moving to Denver once the boys are out of the house, but should I move into smaller accomodations until then?
I don't really want to keep the house and rent it out, although I could. I just don't think I want to deal with that burden. So IF I get a new house I will more than likely sell this one.
Is anyone out their more of a financial expert. Is now a good time to make this kind of move, or should I wait?
The debate in my head continues.
8 comments:
Well...I am not the expert on this one and you know the debate going on over here :)
If it were me *insert disclaimer of retarded advice here*, I would sell it and rent an apartment while I looked leisurely for a new smaller abode.
Something Cozy.
i'm no expert, but if it's a buyer's market there right now, i'd take steps to sell and find something smaller.
just think how exciting it will be to find and create your new home. YOUR new home.
I hear you on the housing. We've looked at other houses around here and none of them are moving so people are just building up. Besides, I would never be able to get what I have now with the costs that keep going up and up!!
That is a tough decision to make and I am sure you're going to be hearing a lot on both sides. So whatever it's worth...good luck!
Party? You never told me about any parties. AND WHY WAS I NOT INVITED??? LOL....
How far are you from Highlands Ranch? I have a dear friend that lives there. Nice area!
A house is a house but what you put into it makes it a home ;o)
Sell it when its a seller's market...not a buyer's. Think with your brain not your emotions.
Also...No job is guaranteed. Your house is an investment. Keep it. Remodel it. Whatever, but don't sell in a buyer's market!
you should probably sell, get a 3 bedroom - I am sure there is a family out there perfect for your house. just don't get greedy and try to sell it for a higher price than you should. be thankful you do not live out here, I bet your house would sell for what a 2 or 3 bedroom costs out here. insane. your house here would sell for close to a million here depending on location. craxy and insane - yea i see the typo and i do not care.
I say sell John, but I would buy something even if it is not something you want to own for the rest of your life you can always flip it later on and maybe stand to make a profit. I agree with Terry that it would be a fresh start and it would be completely yours. Trust me I know the feeling. I wasn't married, but I was engaged and moved in with my fiancee and then things didn't work out. It was hard for both of us. He kept the apartment where he was living (because he had been there first) and I had to find a new place, but it was the best thing for me because it helped me get over everything quicker. He was having a hard time (like your friends), cause he was seeing his place as a reminder. He eventually moved too and now is moving on better in his life too. Hope this helped a bit.
Hey! As I said in my post, I understand where he's coming from, it's harder for him in some respects to have to live in our house, but it's also a way for him to hold on to some of the familiar whereas for me its all new, and missing those old familiars. I do feel for you, having to live with the tangible memories of what used to be, I think it's equally hard on both sides, just different. It's never easy, but trying to get by and trying to make it into something livable is worth it. Thanks for the reflection, Jon.
The only person who gave good advice was my wife!
You gotta quit asking for advice here Jon.
Weigh your options with a realtor. Get a good estimate on your place. Get a good idea about what you will have to spend on a new place. Then make your own decision.
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