Kick in the pants

Fear of more loss

2011-01-27T14:39:00.003-07:00

My brother Mike has been very sick this year. I am very concerned for his future. His illness cannot be cured, but it can be managed. They are trying to figure out the right drugs that will help him best, and are running out of options. Surgery may be the only solution left.

He lives across town. He bought a house about 5 years ago and is probably upside down in it. He's been struggling with his finances because he can't work much due to the illness. We're looking into getting him on partial disability.

His roommate contacted me a few days ago due to his concern that Mike was not getting any exercise and is gaining a lot of weight. He is also concerned that his work may fire him soon. So far his work has been great about things, and going out of their way to help. His roommate also told me he was moving out. He said he can't stand by and watch his bestfriend slowly kill himself. I think he is being a little overly dramatic, but that discussion has me contacting mike more often, and I have reached out to family to do the same. We're suggesting that he ask his doctor whether anti-depressants would cause any issues with his treatment.

I was dealing with all of this when I found out about Chantel's death the other day. I was a bit overwhelmed by both of these events to say the least.

I am trying to keep my spirits up and get out with friends. Since Stephanie and I stopped seeing each other I decided not to get all bummed out about it. I have figured out that sitting around the house is like poison to me. I can get stagnant and just sit around (similar to how my brother is acting). It's an anti-social behavior that I am fully aware of. I don't like it about myself. I have been thinking about starting back on anti-anxiety meds, but I am going to try to just keep myself busy instead.

My friend Laura mentioned something about how busy I have been keeping myself lately when we went out to a movie last night. She heard about some things I did over the weekend through our mutual friend Michaela (pronounced Mishella). Laura is aware of my depression and anxiety issues. She and I had dated back when the anxiety was really bad. Luckily our friendship survived it. We both know that a relationship wouldn't be a good idea, although there are days that I know she thinks about us as a couple. Let's just say I can tell.

I had urged Michaela to join a wine tasting group that I joined a few months ago. I really like Michaela, but she and Laura are very close friends. So like I ran into with Carrie, I know trying to date Michaela could be a problem. I've decided not to pursue her for this reason. The funny thing is that a lady I met at one of the wine group gatherings was telling me that Michaela was clearly into me. I must be blind to most of this. I'm starting to think I can only see it if the person confronts me directly. BONE HEAD!

Did I go scatter brained on this post? Hey, at least I am blogging again!

Loss

2011-01-25T00:40:00.005-07:00

I just learned that an ex-girlfriend of mine from about 5 years ago passed away in October. I am very saddened by this. She was one of the sweetest people I had ever met. All of our issues aside, I was hoping that she would live a long happy life. I knew that it wasn't likely due to her not taking care of her health issues.

We were only together for maybe 5 months. Our relationship burned fast. I did love her, and we were on our way to a very serious relationship (she moved in). Breaking up with her was one of the most agonizing things I've ever had to do. The fact that she wasn't taking good care of herself was just one of the issues between us. I was sad for quite a long time after I broke it off. I know I hurt her really bad. The guilt associated with those times haunts me often, which is probably why this news hurts so much.

I don't normally give up

2011-01-21T21:18:00.002-07:00

Things with Stephanie have pretty much ended. I saw her one last time the other night. I had decided that it's just not going to work for me. I didn't say anything to her, but I left with her pretty much passed out on the couch.

I like her. Our personalities seem to work well together, but I guess that's as far as it goes. We still talk/text, but before I could say anything the other day she broke it off with me. Aparently she has been considering getting back together with her boyfriend that she broke up with right before she and I started seeing each other. Even though I was going to do the same thing, it still stings.

The last few weeks have been very busy getting together with friends/groups. I have joined a few meetup groups (see meetup.com) over the last year, and I am venturing out and doing some new things.

I met up with one group to try some wines at a local restaurant a couple weeks ago, then a bunch of us went dancing afterwards. We ended up closing down that club. That was a lot of fun.

Another group I am in meets up and a local bar every other Monday for something called Pub Quiz. I have seen this posted in other cities as something like Geeks That Drink. Basically it is a big trivia game that you play as teams. We had enough people there to form 4 or 5 teams, plus other people that were there (not in the group) that made up the other 6 teams. I saw someone I met recently at a table with a couple other people, so I joined them. Luckily their team was not full.

Me and one lady in our team had never done this before. I was pretty nervous about it. I wasn't sure how well I would perform since I didn't know how tough the questions would be, and I was nervous about not doing well in front of new friends. It turned out that my nervousness was unfounded. I was about to answer a number of questions.

Before the end of the game this guy on my team, Kevin, asked me to join his Geek Bowl team for the big competition at the end of the month. I was a little surprised, but honored to be asked. Unfortunately I have the kids that day, so I had to decline.

Happy New Year! Welcome 2011

2010-12-31T20:28:00.002-07:00

It's been a pretty good year for me. I am still working. My health is pretty good (still need to lose weight). I have been out more socializing/dating (not all of that is good of course). My kids are doing great.

BUT...

I am feeling depressed, and I have no good reason to.

Work is what it is... stressful, but it's going well. I am not very happy there though. I need to make some kind of change, either in my current direction or another one. I don't want to look for a job in this market, so obviously I am staying put.

I am blogging on New Years Eve because I am being anti-social. I was asked to join some friends out tonight, but I just did not feel like it.

I have been seeing Stephanie (see last post), but it is really slow going. Getting close to her is very difficult. I am sure she likes me, but I don't know if she likes me enough to drop her guard. We only see each other once every week or so, which isn't so bad, but she is very skidish about getting physical... at all. The only time she seems to loosen up is when she's had a lot of wine. Being who I am, this makes me feel guilty. I shouldn't have to get a girl drunk to be able to kiss her. I am going to give it a little more time.

I hope that this year is mo' better than the last

Female Friends... Trouble or Beneficial?

2010-11-11T20:13:00.006-07:00

Hi old friends... I am still around. Just really busy and mostly just Facebooking.

I have been really frustrated lately due to dating (big surprise). My friend Laura introduces me to her friends at parties and such. She is a good friend, but there are times where this can be a problem.

Laura gethered friends for a Cinco De Mayo this year, where I met Carrie. She is an amazing lady, and really easy to talk to. I knew I needed to get out of my shell and know this person.

Well, Carrie was receptive to getting to know me as well. She is such a sweet and kind person, and beautiful on top of that. We started off slow, which is good. We talked a lot, and then she dug deeper into my relationship with Laura. Well, being the honest guy that I am I told her how Laura and I have been friends since around 2002, and that there was a short period in 2005 where Laura and I moved things into dating. This didn't surprise Carrie, but I guess put some concerned thoughts in her head.

In subsequent days/weeks Carrie asked Laura if she cared that Carrie and I were seeing each other. Well, I guess the answer came back as something like "I am a little jealous, but I'll get over it". This did not go over well with Carrie. She didn't want to cause any friction in any of our friendships, so I was demoted to friend status. This really sucked on so many levels. I don't blame Carrie for making that call, but I am very disappointed. I do have an issue with Laura interferring.

There arn't a lot of Laura's friends that I am attracted to, so there isn't much risk of this happening again. But this now causes other problems.

The Friday before Halloween (2 days before) I was at a Halloween party at a friends house. I drove with Laura and 2 other ladies (friends of Laura) came with us along with me (mistake number 1). I don't mind driving. I do drink a little, but I would rather that I drive than trust someone else to maintain their ability to drive. I know my limits very well, and I don't tend to drink very much (well, not when driving)

I met a very pretty lady at the party. Considering I was in full Zombie attire I would not have expected anyone to be attracted to me, but Stephanie went out of her way to come meet and talk to me. I was thrilled to say the least. She was at last years party, but I really didn't get a chance to meet her then. She is very attractive.

Stephanie then told me she and her girlfriends were headed down to a club after the party and that I should meet her there. I believe the word AWESOME popped into my head. It just so happened that the band playing there is one of my favorites. The drummer I have been friends with since high school. Laura and the other ladies were originally wanting to go to a different club. The other ladies were with me on the change, but Laura was being bitchy about it. I guess I can't blame her. The band we were originally going to see is her favorite. But I am driving... Shut up and get in the car! They didn't know I had a hidden agenda.

As soon as we walked into the club I saw the other ladies on the dance floor. I didn't even hesitate as I moved right into their little group. One of the ladies, Kate, grabbed my tie, pulled me close and started a nice little dirty dancing grind on my leg. Too damn funny... and HOT! But Kate kind of scares me. I put my focus on Stephanie. We danced a lot and talked when we could, and at one point she leaned close and told me she thinks I am cute. OK, that was a good green flag, but do you see that picture? How could someone say I was cute?

During the time at the club I was getting a lot of stares from other people there. Most people were not in costume, but I got a lot of positive feedback on my get up. A lot of "Dude... that's awesome" kinds of remarks. One guy's feedback was a little too possitive. He kept talking to me when I wasn't on the dance floor with the ladies. I was wondering if maybe he thought I was someone else. So as the night progressed I was kind of getting annoyed by him. Then he asked to buy me a drink. What the fuck!? I was already done drinking from the party, but a guy asking to buy me a drink in a club full of women. I'm no idiot. I told him thanks, but no thanks. That I was done drinking for the night. He then said "Fine then, you buy me a drink". This just annoyed me. Move along.

I was standing next to one of the ladies that came along with me. Her name is Audra. We were laughing about these 2 people on the dance floor. The guy was getting a bit touchy with her. She did not seem to be enjoying it. She turned her back to the guy and was looking straight at us and mouthed "Do you know this guy?". I couldn't help but laugh really loud. Audra lean over and whispered in my ear, "I bet Laura hooks up with that guy by the end of the night". This comment confused me, but was funny. I am not sure why she said this. The Michaela, the 3rd lady I was chauffering grabbed my hand and leaded me to the dance floor.

These ladies are a lot of fun to hang out with, but I was still trying to work things with Stephanie. I found her a little while later and got her back on the dance floor. After a while we were annoyed by some of the people crowding onto the floor, so we stopped dancing. She went to see where her friends were, and I tracked down mine. What happened next was simply amazing. I looked past Audra hanging by the high top table and saw Laura making out with the guy that Audra said she would be hooking up with later. I had to ask Audra how the hell she knew this was going to happen. Does she know him? She told me that he was just the type of guy that Laura would hook up with. So now it's official, Audra is a psychic.

I ran into Laura a while later. She was clearly drunk. We talked for a bit, and then she saw Stephanie heading out the door. Laura started saying how much she hates Stephanie. I tried to find out why, but she wasn't telling me anything.

Eventually I realized that we needed to get out of there before I had a sick person in my car. I rounded everyone up and convinced them it was time. The band was finishing up their last set, so it is better to go now before there is a mass of people (mostly drunk) on the road with me at the same time.

As we walked out Laura had to talk to the guy she was making out with. I then saw Stephanie on the front patio talking to her friends. I stepped over to say goodnight. I personally don't care that Laura doesn't like her. I didn't know

I drove everyone back to Laura's. I guess the girls were doing a sleep over. Laura repeated how she cannot stand Stephanie. I don't know if maybe she saw me dancing with Stephanie or what. Laura was really getting on my nerves on the drive back to her place. Thank god I didn't have to drive everyone to their individual homes. I got home and took some Advil and showered. It took some time to get all that crap off my face. I think I got to bed around 2:30.

I woke up that morning feeling a little of the effects of the night before. I wasn't really wanting to do it all over again, but we had another party to go to that night. Laura called, but I let it go to voicemail. She wanted to know if we could drive together to the next party. UUUUGH! I need to stop doing that so that I can leave when I want... and with who I want ;)

Then I saw a friend request on Facebook from Stephanie. Some days I hate Facebook, but this was not one of them.

Changing Seasons... DAILY

2010-03-23T23:15:00.000-06:00

I know that some of you out there don't want to have anything to do with snow. I can understand you, but I don't follow. We have all 4 seasons here, and I love it. Last week we had days around 70 degrees, then the next day we got 4 inches of snow.

We had a few nice days following, so all of the snow has melted. Today they were predicting another storm. When I left work it was raining. But the clouds were looking pretty intense. I got home, but instead of sitting still I went to see an early movie at 6:30. It was lightly raining still, and getting a little colder. When I departed it was a blizzard.

I was pretty nervous. I was in my car, not my truck. The car doesn't do too well in the snow. Luckily I put some new rubber on it recently. I parked near one of the exits. When I opened the door I could hardly tell it was my car. The snow was already about 6 inches deep.

Well, it was pretty slick, and on the way home (I live about a mile from the theater) someone was stuck on the road. This made me really nervous, because I had a long hill to climb right there. I was glad to make it up the hill... then I followed an SUV through my neighborhood so I could follow in his tracks. I powered my way up my driveway and into my garage. WHEW!

This means I am working from home tomorrow... and my boss may not make it back to town until Thursday.

Other things that are changing...

For the past 5 or 6 weeks I have been seeing Mary. Somewhat out of character for me, I have taken it really slow. Being the typical guy, I usually rush right into sex. This time it's different. Something has been making me hold back. She is attractive enough, and we have a ton of things in common, but my head was telling me to avoid going past kissing.

I have realised that all of these negative feelings were good to internalize. What I now realize is that I am just not excited about her. I kind of feel bad about it. This is so hard when you actually like the person, but I don't want to lead her on, or waste her time. There's always that question as to why I am breaking it off. It's going to be asked, and just saying "I am just not into you" seems pretty cold. This is where being the "nice guy" is so hard. The past couple weeks I have know this was going to need to end. There is never a good time to do it. I'll have to use the bandaid method.

Recently I started taking an herbal suppliment, St. John's Wort. I have read in a couple places that it is good for fatigue and depression, which I have been feeling a lot of. It seems to be helping me with my attitude at work, and keeping me from straying from tasks. I have recognized that I do that a lot. I may not continue it through the summer do to some of its side effects of photosensitivity, but it seems to be helping.

I have joined a "Meet Up" group this week. My friend Laura is a member. She usually has me tag along to a bunch of their parties, but on Friday people were giving me a hard time because I hadn't joined (and I missed out on a few good parties).

Friday was an interesting night. One of the ladies in the group organized an outing for her birthday. A bunch of us met for sushi downtown. There were some ladies there that I had not met before. The only seat left when I got there was next to one of them. Sharon was quite pretty. I was surprized how easy she was to talk to. We got along really well through dinner. Sharon was asking me a lot of questions about my life, kids, work, etc. She then tells me she was 7 years older than me. I was quite surprized. She certainly didn't look it. She was pretty proud of it, as she should be.

After dinner we all headed to a club across the street. I started buying shots of tequila. The band was pretty good. They played a lot of classic rock. It just wasn't great for dancing, so we all headed to another club.

One of my favorite bands were playing at the next club. They describe themselves as an 80s tribute band. The drummer is an old friend from high school. They take songs from all genres and completely rock them up and make them their own. Every time I see them I am surprized at some of the songs they cover.

We danced our asses off and closed that place down. I am not used to having that much fun, or being out when the bars close. One of the guys was just being a slub. The funny thing about that is I am usually the guy acting like that. I am wondering if the St. John's Wort is bringing me out of my shell too.

If I get a hold of some of the ebarrassing photos from the night I will share :D

Needing some fun...

2010-02-28T11:30:00.002-07:00

So much of my life is very frustrating right now.

I want to sell my house, but I am too lazy to prepare it for the market. I hear houses in the price range I am expecting are actually starting to sell fairly quickly. That's encouraging.

Work is going relatively well. My stress level is still up there, but my new boss has been great about everything. She is trying to help me to be a better manager. I never asked to be a manager, and my previous 4 bosses at this company didn't do shit to help me understand how it should be done. Now that Paula is my boss I am starting to understand that none of the previous bosses (except maybe one) were good managers either. It amazes me that this company is still surviving in these difficult times. Things are so poorly managed and inefficient that I would think we would be having major lay-offs. We have cut a few people, but surprizingly few considering the market. The good news is that projections for business in 2011 are much better.

My kids are doing well, and keeping busy. Kevin has been snowboarding a lot. Even after breaking his arm right after Christmas (it is already healed). Erik was on a Park & Rec football team last year that really pushed him. He decided this year to do a couple different things. He is playing team handball, and will begin baseball in the next month or so. He is planning on playing football again in the fall.

I have started trying to date again. It's not going very well. I don't know if it's my state of mind, or I just know what or who I want, and can't have that is influencing my thoughts. Dating doesn't feel very important to me anymore. I am still a horny bastard, but the drive to find someone doesn't seem to be there. What is wrong with me? I know some would say that I just haven't met the right person, but I think it goes deeper than that. Maybe I have become that cynical person I have tried so hard not to be all these years.

My brother in law was in Colorado for some skiing and and doing some musical gigs with some of his friends up in the mountains. He came by for a couple visits on his down days. He took a picture of me and the boys for my sister.

Getting out...

2009-11-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

I have been happily getting out and socializing more these days. My friend Laura continues to take me to her "singles group" outings. They are a very good group of people. I was kind of expecting when Laura started inviting me to these events, that things would get ugly from time to time. Maybe it's because of the age group that most of these people are in is at a more mature level... or these people are just more respectful.

I know that Laura has dated a few of the guys from the group. And when I show up with her, I do get looked at like I am dating her. Which I am not. I think it is funny when there are guys interested in her and they see me there, they get kind of jealous and territorial. At first I kind of hung with Laura as I am a bit shy. As I met a few people I felt comfortable getting buried in deep conversations with the guys and the women in the group. Sometimes I feel like some of these conversations are like job interviews. Kind of strange, but I don't mind.

This past couple weeks I have gone to a comedy club, a Halloween party and a night at a club here in town to see a blues band and do some dancing. A lot of the same people were at these places, so I was able to remember some people's names. Well, those that I could recognize out of their costumes.

At the club the other night there was this couple that I just met at the Halloween party. I don't know if they met through the groups or what. He seemed really nice, and even understood what I do for a living (that is very rare). She was also really nice... nicer than I expected since we had just met a few days before. Maybe she was trying to make her guy jealous, I don't know. So much for being adults. I decided the best thing to do is just kind of play along as if I think she is kidding around, and make sure he thinks that too.

Another lady showed up later that I am very attracted to. She is intelligent, funny as hell (tells some great dirty jokes), and a gorgeous redhead. Her name is also Laura. She has this long distance boyfriend thing going on, but she is also very friendly to me. She is fun to talk to, but she is also kind of intimidating. I just try to be my normal self.

It kind of cracks me up how hard some of the guys try to impress the women. I just wonder if it ever really works. The hand kissing, and over the top compliment seem so phoney to me.

Dancing to me is always kind of an awkward area for me. I feel fairly comfortable on the dance floor. I dont try to do anything fancy. I never learned to swing dance. So I just keep it simple. But sometimes people look at me funny. I don't really care what they think, but it does get me a little self conscious. Maybe I am reacting wrong. Maybe they like what I am doing, but who knows. I do watch some of the guys trying to be a little hipper than they should. That is a little unnerving. I sometimes think to myself "Do I look like that?" I;ve decided that I don't.

I am not an official member of any of these groups. I think I'll keep it that way for a little while. But I think I might like getting into one of the hiking groups. For someone that has lived here in Colorado Springs for 32 years, I sure don't know where many of the good hiking trails are. I could certainly use the exercise.

The more things change, the more they stay the same

2009-10-02T19:17:00.005-06:00

I have cut way back on my blogging, obviously. But I think some of it was because all I was doing was bitching about work. I know it must be tiring to read.

Well lately work has been "interesting". I have now been there for 3 years. Most people are amazed I am still there considering I commute almost everyday to Denver (130 mile round trip). This year I started wishing there were more jobs out there, but the fucked up economy is showing in the fact that the only job in my field that is available is yet another 45 minutes further from my house. I don't think I want a 4 hour round trip commute.

What is new is that my boss is taking a new job in the company. Many people that know about it expect that I would want his job, but I don't. My job sucks bad enough. He's been a decent boss (my 4th boss in 3 years), but he is a real pain at times. I gave him a nickname that he is unaware of. We call him "The Vortex". This is because if you get sucked into his office you may not come out for hours. This guy over analyzes shit to the point that I almost want to give in just to get the fuck away from him. But I never give in if I truly believe I am right.

Now that he is moving on, we are doing a bit of a reorganization. They don't want to replace him since it is cheaper to just force some other sucker to take on the job in addition to their current responsibilities. Yesterday it was official that all of his departments were going to report to a lady that is a VP over QA and some developement projects. She is a decent manager, but I know her technical skills are lacking. She has never pulled rank with me, but I know I have had to prove her and her people wrong on a number of situations. Since then she seems to listen to me more and more, and trust my opinions and judgement, but I know she still relies on some of her folks who I feel are completely clueless and have her fooled.

I am not upset about the reporting structure change, but I know it does mean I will have a different dynamic going on in many of my meetings with her. We'll see how it works out.

Other than that...

The kids are good. Healthy and doing well in school. Erik is playing football on a Park & Rec team. He is doing way better than I expected. His coach talked to him about losing some weight, which he is doing (he doesn't listen to me in these matters... and who am I to talk). Kevin is working a lot at McDonalds, and getting ready for a lot of snowboarding this winter.

It looks like I am not going to be going to Michigan for Christmas this year, so I think I will plan a long weekend with the kids to go skiing/boarding.

My love life is pretty empty these days. I started seeing someone that broke it off early. It was pretty disappointing because I really liked her. We had a lot in common. But if you're not feeling it, you can't force it. I've been on the other side of that, so I understand where she was with it.

A lady friend of mine that I have hardly talked to this year called me the other day. She lives in another state, so having a close relationship is very hard. We are realistic about it. The interesting thing about this particular call was that she suggested that we take a trip together. I know that if we lived in the same city, or maybe even just the same state, I wouldn't hesitate to take a trip. My dilema is that she is the type of person that I know I will fall for provided we spend a good amount of time together. So now I need to wonder if our "realistic" approach is a good thing or should we just say fuck it, and throw all previous thoughts out the window.

I am a tease... and a dumbass

2009-08-09T12:15:00.002-06:00

I talk about blogging, and I never do.

I did finally take the kids on vacation. I think some of you know about it from Facebook. We drove to Michigan for a few days and visited my mom and sisters families. It was a good visit.

Kevin has a friend that just recently moved an hour or so from where my mom lives so I took him to see his friend. They had fun riding skateboards.

I took Erik on a canoe ride at the park my nephew and neice work at. They load you into a van with a trailer full of canoes in tow. They help you launch it into the river. Our run took about 45 minutes. We capsized the canoe 5 minutes into the run. It was pretty funny. This part of the river is pretty shallow, so it didn't take much to reach shore and dump the water.

Mom seems to be doing well, and was excited about flying to Maine with my sister the next week. I was pretty bummed that I couldn't do that with them, but I just couldn't afford it... and the boys had to get back to school that week.

I am not big into Facebook, but it has a couple mind numbing and addicting games. I kind of hate that I have gotten into that. A few old girlfriends have tracked me down on Facebook. A couple from back in the early 80s, and a couple since my divorce. I kind of feel voyeuristic being able to see what they are up to. Some of it makes me sad.

One lady in particular was the first woman I really liked after my divorce. She broke it off with me because I had a vasectomy and she thought she would want kids one day. Other than the fact that I am seedless we got along so great. We were only seeing each other for about a month. We kept in touch as friends and even met for lunch and other things a couple times. She met someone later that year. A year later they were getting married. I was happy for her, but we stopped all communication. She didn't want to give him any reason for being jealous.

Well, for some reason she looked me up on Facebook. My heart skipped a beat when I saw a note from her. I felt dirty looking through her profile. Am I crazy? I saw that she had a daughter, but then I read how her and her husband adopted their daughter. That gave me mixed feelings. I was happy that she had this beautiful daughter, but I was sad that she didn't have one herself. I'm not going to lie, part of me thought that breaking up with me for the reasons she gave were completely nullified somehow.

ANYWAY...

The boys are back in school. Kevin in his junior year in high school, and Erik is in his first year of middle school. It's all making me feel older... UGH

How the hell are you all? Anyone still reading this crap?

Summer WTF

2009-06-14T17:43:00.005-06:00

Long absense, huh?

Now that the kids are out of school I seem to be even more stressed. I wonder what they are doing while I am not home. Are they getting outside or just watching tv and playing video games. Luckily, my ex signed up for a family membership to a rec center/gym, so they have something to do. I have been reminding them a lot to take advantage of that. And I have been giving them chores to do, which does help a lot... when they do them :D

The boys have asked me if we're going to go on a vacation this year. Quite frankly, I don't know. I could take some time off, but money is getting very tight. My savings took a hit due to some unforseen expenses. I hate charging up my credit cards. I am trying to get all of my credit card debt to disappear (just in case).

As for work... it is what it is. I am burnt out. We are still making progress on the new projects and we are improving things everyday for the existing ones. I just wish someone outside of my department would make an attempt at making some changes for the better.

I did get a small bonus, that should be showing up in my next paycheck. I am glad I got it because I was nominated for it by our VP of Development (at least that is what I think she is). She nominated me and one of my guys for this because she knows how hard we try, and how hard headed these people are that we have to deal with.

What else is there to tell you all...

Oh ya... my love life still sucks. You'll love my latest story. Maybe I'll blog about it later.

I am such a tease

Welcoming the Spring

2009-03-23T23:30:00.000-06:00

Its been an entire month... What do I have to show for it?

I got my reviews done at work.
A couple of our big projects are moving along well.
I went on a date (what a shocker that is).

I am not thrilled with work. Two of my best employees have a bit of a feud going on. It upsets me that they aren't getting along. I don't even understand what caused it. One thinks the other doesn't like his type A personality, the other hasn't said a word to me. I will probably have to clear the air with them in a week. Have I said before that I hate being a manager?

I was supposed to be going to Iowa this week, but I did not make detailed enough plans for what we need to accomplish, so we're delaying the trip. Now my boss thinks that maybe we could do what we need remotely. I totally disagree, but this may have travel budget implications. I was going to take the 2 employees I mentioned earlier. I may have to rethink that even if we do get the budget.

My typical weekend is comprised of me sleeping in until at least 9:30, then putzing around the house. I may go to a movie, I may not.

This weekend was not typical. Friday night my friend Laura ask me to join her and a friend of hers to to a movie. That was fun. The movie was ok (Duplicity).

Saturday morning I received a call at 7:45. Of course it was my friend Mike. He was calling to tell me he was on his way over. He was borrowing my ATV for a few days. I made a few attempts at starting my ATV after putting a new battery in it the other day (without success). I've left it sitting around unused for too long. Mike also brought his computer over for me to look at. Aparently Turbo Tax doesn't like him. Unfortunately I fixed some problems with it, but not enough to make it work.

After Mike left I did my typical laundry and cleaning (a half-assed job on the cleaning). Then I headed to the store to pick up a meat tray and some beer for a board gaming party. That was fun, as usual.

Sunday morning I did sleep in until 9, but then got to work on more cleaning. I also rotated my tires and washed the car. I had to work for a few hours on crap I left unfinished on Friday. Then I went on the date I mentioned earlier. Nothing big to report. We'll see if anything happens.

One of the shows I am watching this year is getting REALLY good. Dollhouse... If you haven't watched it, you should start. I was a little more than luke warm on the show until this week. It's been building up to some big stories, and now its starting to hit. Friday nights episode was THE best. I am now totally hooked.

I am hoping to take a long weekend and head to Vegas before it gets to damn hot. Why do some people love the heat, and I just can't stand it. Give me 75-80 degrees and I am one happy boy.

Music Videos... and why some don't suck

2009-02-22T10:14:00.002-07:00

I have loved this band since their first CD came out in 96. I never saw the video. I've stopped watching MTV for obvious reasons. Came across this and laughed my ass off.

I had a girlfriend back in 2003/4 that HATED this song. I never understood why. One of our last dates during our first go round we went to see Matchbox Twenty, and opening for them was Fountains of Wayne. I was totally into it. She had a look of disgust on her face. I am thinking that maybe she saw this video and didn't like it. Her kids were the age of the kids in this video at the time. Hehehe

Celebrate!!!!!

2009-02-17T00:15:00.001-07:00

Guess what day it is kids?

It is my Blogiversary

Not that this is a big deal, especially when I have a hard time posting once a month.

My life is not so different from month to month. My department has been making a lot of great progress on our projects. Although I am feeling a sense of accomplishment, I am also feeling burned out. I think my whole department is. We're even starting to get on each other's nerves, which has never happened with my group of "performers". I need to do something for them, but unfortunately I have to get approval to do ANYTHING to boost morale.

My mom, and cousin have been hounding me to go to maine this summer. They are renting a couple of houses for a week. This would make it much more affordable, but I think I would rather just escape away from everyone for a week. Anyone got a couch needing an occupant?

An old friend and I patched things up recently. She and I aren't dating. We did date for about 4 weeks a number of years ago. That ended, but we stayed friends. Then we had a falling out. That was aout 3 years ago. We've contacted each other over the last few years, but up until a few weeks ago we had not seen each other. We met for drinks and it was like the friendship had never been stopped.

Last week she invited me to a friend's wine party. I haven't been getting out much, so I felt it would be good to meet some new people. I then found out that this is a singles group she belongs to. She said "there will be lots of single ladies to mingle with". This actually sounded more and more like something I needed. I picked up a nice Pinot Noir.

Well, I had a great time. No, I didn't get any phone numbers. I didn't even try, to be honest. It was just good to meet some people and kind of refreshing to just start a conversation with someone out of the blue. I did meet a few very attractive ladies. I made a good impression with a number of people, so hopefully I will be invited to more events of theirs.

I do want to share this...

Untitled from Graham Butler on Vimeo.

Lost in the real world

2009-02-03T22:41:00.002-07:00

It's been over a month since I have posted anything. I have so much to say, but have no time to organize my thoughts.

I wish that I could say that I have been secluded away on a tropical island, but that would just be a lie. I've gone skiing a couple times, but mostly I've just been working.

The love life is non-existant. I went from seeing 2 women in December. Then I was down to one. That fizzled, but came across another lady that I saw a couple times. Now that one is gone too. The last 2 I didn't even get a break up e-mail. I haven't heard a word. This is partially my fault, but it is a 2 way street.

I'm now coming down with a cold... FUCK!

December Kicks My Ass

2008-12-30T11:32:00.003-07:00

One post for the entire month... so sad

The Christmas holiday was fine. But the weeks leading up to my vacation have really burned me out. Now that I am on my vacation I find that I just want to veg out, but family and friends won't have it.

On top of the rest of the months stress, I started dating 2 different women. They are 2 entirely different types of people. The one I have seen the most is an IT geek (not the same as what I do). We had some really nice dates, but then she dumped me right before my Michigan trip, siting that I don't seem interested enough. After 4 dates am I supposed to be calling every day? When she dumped me via e-mail it had only been 4 days since I saw her last, and I had my kids. The other is fine with the limited contact. In fact I am getting the impression she may just want me for sex. We haven't done "it" yet. That could get interesting. Time to stock up on condoms again. I could be totally wrong about this, but I know she is not someone to get too serious about at this point. Maybe I'll explain later.

I drove to Michigan with my brother Mike. Our brother Billy was there too with his family. I was sad because I couldn't take my kids. My mom and my sister Patt in Michigan are always great to see. My brother-in-law John (late sister Paula's husband) and my niece kate were also wonderful to see. My sister's family (husband and 2 kids from a previous marriage) get on our nerves. I could, and ma, post about how much of a pain in the ass he is.

Mike and I decided to drive by our old neighborhood in Madison Heights. Our old house is for sale and falling apart. It is very depressing to see.

We headed back to Colorado on Sunday. I figured we would stop somewhere in eastern Kansas that night, but we managed to drive all the way through. 18 hours straight. Our longest break was in Missouri where we had a quick bite to eat and stopped to buy some fireworks. We left Michigan a little before noon eastern time , and arrived at my house at 4:30 am mountain time.

I think the thing that helped us the most was we downloaded The History of Howard Stern Act 2 before we left. We listened the whole way. I almost had to pull over a few times due to laughing myself to extreme tears a few times. I know Howard Stern isn't everyones cup of tea, but I love his irreverant humor. Although I don't think he is as disrespectful as most people think he is.

The boys and I are going skiing on New Years Day with some friends. My first skiing of the season. For some reason I am not looking forward to it. I think I just need to go skiing alone sometime, and not have to deal with anyone else's schedules or needs.

No Room To Complain

2008-11-28T17:28:00.004-07:00

I hope that all of my friends here in the US had a great Thanksgiving.

My oldest son had his 16th birthday the other day. He has gotten an awful lot of cash from everyone. He of course wants a car, but i am not getting him one. Because friends of his got cars when they turned 16 he things he should have one. My ex agreed with me not too long ago, but I think he is working on her hard. There was talk of her getting him one. I wish she would stop backing down. I have a perfectly good '97 Chevy pickup that he can use.

Work is really intense right now, but we are getting things done. Probably not fast enough for the execs, but we are also trying to not impact the various project deliveries that are scheduled. I've been giving a lot of training classes again. I kind of enjoy it, but I hate the fact that everyone wants the same things out of the new tools that were available in the old one. These people need to deal with change and get over it.

Ski season is starting up. My oldest has already gone on one trip with his school's Snow Riders club. Early snow is not very good, so he scraped up his board pretty bad. My youngest is in 5th grade, and apparently the ski areas give free passes to 5th and 6th graders. We got him the cards, so I am sure that means lots more skiing this year (I hope).

I have had a strange run of good luck with women from the Internet dating sites lately. I wasn't even really trying and have had dates with 2 in the last 2 weeks, and another who I thought wasn't interrested suddenly wants to see me. I've never been a good juggler, but I'll see what being a cyber slut is all about. Not really... I am not sleeping with them. Well, not yet.

One lady is a very intense marathon runner, and bike rider. I am no runner, and my bike riding is more on the enjoyable end than competative. I hoep that doesn't bother her. So far so good. Another lady is pretty fresh on the dating scene, so I need to see how mentally stable she is before going too far. I remember when I was in her shoes. I didn't know what to expect, and was ill-prepared for meeting new women. It's hard to tell so far. Then the 3rd I haven't met yet, but she seems interesting, and has her own company (no, not Avon or anything like that).

I am a one woman man, so having 3 interested at one time kind of gives me a weird anxiety.

I Am Really Not Very Interesting - Another MEME

2008-11-17T21:32:00.002-07:00

Stolen from Evening

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? It's ok.
2. Favorite late night snack? ice cream or popcornt.
3. Do you own a gun? Yes, a handgun, 2 shotguns and a 30.06 rifle
4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop? Chai.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes.
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I am ok with them, but don't have them often.
7. Favorite Christmas song? The Christmas Song
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Chai.
9. Can you do push-ups? Yes
10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? N/A
11. Favorite hobby? Quad riding
12. Do you have A.D.D.? No.
13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? Procrastination.
14. The last disease you contracted? Pneumonia about 8 or 9 years ago
15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment. Too much work, too little time; Is she interrested; I should be getting to bed
16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? Chai, Diet Dr Pepper, Water
17. Current worry right now? Finances in my future.
18. Current hate right now? Changing plans midstream, which happens to me WEEKLY!
19. Favorite place to be? Anywhere with friends laughing
20. How did you ring in the New Year? Home alone
21. Like to travel? Yes, but don't do it often enough.
22. What is your favorite candy? Butterfinger.
23. Do you own slippers? Yes, but I never wear them
24. What color shirt are you wearing? Burgundy
25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No, too slippery.
26. Can you whistle? standard lips pursed.
27. Favorite singer/band? Thats impossible to say. I have so many favorites
28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? No, I would be thrown off for killing someone.
29. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever I am playing on my MP3 player.
30. Favorite girl’s names? Jenna
31. Favorite boy’s name? Kyle or Ryan
32. What’s in your pocket right now? Wallet
33. Last thing that made you laugh? My friend Tracey telling me to masterbate.
34. Like your job? I like parts of my job, but not very well.
36. Do you love where you live? Yes, absolutely.
37. How many TVs do you have in your house? That work? 3
38. Who is your loudest friend? Mike
39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed? Rarely.
40. Does someone have a crush on you? I think so.
41. What is your favorite book? Kids book, Ferdinand The Bull
42. Favorite Sports Team? Denver Broncos or Detroit Tigers
43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Thinking about sleep
44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? Work

Political Bullshit

2008-10-18T22:00:00.004-06:00

I posted something else earlier if you don't want to read about politics.

I have been engulfed in political discussions for weeks now. I am no expert on the subject, but it has really gotten to me this year.

When I went off to college at 17 Reagan had been in office for a year or so, and had quickly resolved the Iran hostage situation just because of who he was. That made me admire the guy. I had no clue of the details around the release, or what being a Republican meant. I really didn't know the difference between the parties other than my dad was Republican and my mom Democrat.

Soon after I got to Phoenix for school I needed to get a new driver's license... well I was told I had to after getting busted for not driving with my headlights on (there was a loose wire), not having a local license, and not having proof of insurance in the car. On top of that I had turned 18, and needed a different license for that. Luckily I was pulled over into the parking lot where I worked. My manager was outside and knew the cop. The resulted in me just getting ticketed for the license and insurance proof.

While getting my license I was asked if I wanted to register to vote. I figured what the hell, but I had to choose a party affiliation. Independant was not an option at the time, and I was clueless. I chose Republican since I knew that Reagan was a Republican.

I live in the most conservative city in Colorado, so its not like I have seen much of what Democrats can do here. Over the years I felt my choice was a good one. I learned that Republicans keep government small and taxes low. There were a few things I didn't follow with the right wing though. Especially the right for a woman to choose how she handles a pregnancy. I always felt that it was a strange thing that Republicans wanted smaller government and less regulation, but wanted to push their opinion on whether an abortion was right or wrong.

Now that I am a father and have a number of presidents behind us since my entrance into this realm, I see things a hell of a lot different than in my youth. I have always been moderate, but always leaning to the right. But I was seeing some problems with how our very conservative town was working.

Maybe our public school systems need better management, but without the funding their isn't much to manage. Every school my kids have gone to has been over-crouded since the day it was opened. My oldest son's middle school was built for a capacity of 600, but they were forced to put almost 1000 kids in this school the first full year it was opened. The high school he now attends is under the same strain.

Two years ago some people were able to get a few measures passed to get more school funding in our district and some road improvement projects. I voted for the higher taxes, as I didn't see things getting any better in the future unless all the jobs in town dried up and people moved away. We now have a new high school, middle school, and a couple grade schools. The high school my son attends got a couple huge additions to it. We're finally getting close to where we should be.

This town has been so against any taxes that they can't see what the lack of that revenue does to our future. I am not saying that I am totally for any new tax hike that comes along, but I am going to be taking a much closer look at things before taking a hard line on no taxes.

This brings me to the presidential candidates. This has been an interesting year. I voted for McCain back in the 2000 primary. I saw Bush as a fumbling idiot, so I couldn't back him. Lets face it... Bush is not the brains behind this administration, and some really powerful people have gotten their pockets lined without tax dollars and whenever we fill our tanks. I know things can't be any worse than what we've had for the last 8 years... well, so I thought.

I was never too excited about Hillary Clinton. I thought that would be a mistake. I am by no means against a woman president. I bet a woman could do a hell of a lot better than some of our past (and a hell of a lot better than our current) presidents. I just thought that people hate her too much to be successful. McCain to me was a good choice. He was a lot more moderate than any other Republicans in the race. Obama was an unknown to me, but some of what he was saying was definitely had some good points.

Then McCain started falling in-line with the more conservative right wingers. I kept telling myself he is just doing this to get the backing of the party, and that he would not be such a party guy once he got to the while house. But then he picked Palin for a running mate.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!

I could not stand her from the first minute she opened her mouth. I couldn't give less of a shit that she is pretty. Who the hell cares when this is someone that would be taking over if McCain dies in office (which isn't such a small risk). He needed to pick someone maybe a little more right than him... NOT THE QUEEN OF THE FUCKING FASCISTS!

This person is so NOT prepared for a heavy political position, and certainly doesn't have enough knowledge to even try to be a "Maverick". It is clear to me that McCain's handlers chose her is because she is a woman governor, NOT because she has any clue as a politician. I think McCain had no idea how bad of a match this was.

Now I've been feeling like a total ass for hoping he was who I thought. I can't in good conscience vote for McCain. Now that I have watched all 4 debates I am more certain than ever that the Republican party has totally lost its way. Obama not only handled himself WAY better than McCain in all 3 debates, the points he has made make far more sense to me (and apparently most of the US agrees).

A few weeks ago a fried of mine was over for gaming night and asked if I wanted to get a mail in ballot. I figured I would, but then on the form it also asked if I wanted to change my part affiliation. I changed to Democrat.

Now I worry about Obama being killed by one of these lunatics behind McCain.

I hope that is the last thing I say about the election before Nov 4th.

Thoughts on travel... and being a pussy

2008-10-18T20:45:00.001-06:00

One of the things I wish I did more is travel. So the majority of my vacations are to visit family. Sure, I get out to Vegas or like in August I went to San Diego, but I feel guilty if I go on a trip without my kids. I usually tell them I will be out of town, so that they don't wonder why I am not at the house. I know I need my adult fun.

I have never been to Europe. I have only taken a part day trek to Mexico when I was in high school. For some reason I kind of have this feeling like I don't deserve a nice vacation. I am not one to go somewhere alone. I applaud my friends that can do that, but it would just make me feel out of place. Not on an adventure, which is what I know I would feel like if I went on with someone.

I have used the excuse of not being able to afford a nice trip like this. This isn't really true. I could do it financially if I really wanted to. I just avoid putting large charges on my credit card if at all possible.

The lady I went out with last week before my Michigan trip is now in Germany. She is a chef at a very posh hotel here in Colorado Springs, so she is there on a business trip. But I know she is going to make an adventure of it. She is definitely that type. I admire that. Is there a gene I am missing? I know that one of my inhibitions around this is because I wouldn't know the local language, but people do this all the time.

A friend of mine at work has been really hard on me lately because I am not outgoing enough. He slammed me because I meet women I date on-line instead of just going up to someone in the grocery store or where ever, and asking them for their number. Sometimes I think its easy for him to say these things because he is married. But then I see how women react to him all the time and I know I not doing it right.

For me its not about "hooking up". I do want to find someone that could build into a serious relationship. It's not like I can't talk to women. I do, and sometimes at very random locations. I just don't seem to have the balls to ask for their number. I think the last time I did that was 2 weeks after my ex left. It landed me a date with an extremely attractive woman, but ended badly because she was a HEAVY drinker and a party princess.

Maybe the on-line thing is just too easy to hide behind. I guess I need to get out of my safe zone... for both the dating and the travelling.

Vacationing in Michigan

2008-10-13T13:04:00.004-06:00

My kids are on a 2 week fall break from school, so I decided if I don't take a vacation now I will lose much of my vacation time (we don't get to roll it over or get paid out at year's end). With mom having gone through her surgery I figured now would be a good time to come. Plus, Erik's birthday just happened yesterday.

The drive out was uneventful. Kevin helped with about 7 of the hours of driving. I don't rest well with him behind the wheel, but I did take a nap the second morning, only to be jolted from my 20 minutes of sleep when Kevin hit the warning track on the shoulder. No more sleeping for me! He wasn't going off the road, but some states put their warning bumps way too close to the lane.

We had a nice party for Erik last night. My brother-in-law and niece came up from Ann Arbor with a cake made from scratch. It was great to see everyone there. We're all getting together again on Wednesday too.

I had to come to the coffee shop down the street from the senior center mom lives in to get wi-fi. There is something wrong with her router. I am sure that is something I will tackle this afternoon or tonight during the Red Sox game.

I went on a first date this past week. It was kind of an odd thing. She messaged me first, which is always a good thing, since I am such a fucking coward sometimes. We decided to meet at an Old Chicagos near her house. Meeting at a bar is not always a good thing. She asked if I was good at trivia... "pretty good", I said. But I hadn't played the trivia game that plays in the bar. She seemed genuinely excited to meet, so that made me feel at ease.

The evening we decided to meet she was going to have dinner with her parents and daughter, but would meet me after that. She said to relax after I got home from work, throw on some jeans and come meet her around 9.

Before meeting her I decided to take a really critical look at her profile. The big thing that stood out was that she smoked "sometimes". I decided that maybe it's only a minor thing and to let it slide. Normally to me it is black and white, either you are a smoker or you aren't, but we'll see.

When she arrived, I saw her walking through the bar and said hi to a couple people. Hmmmm. She was wearing a pretty hot little dress with a lot of cleavage showing, which made me wonder about the jeans comment. Oh well.

She knew most of the bartenders, and told one to get us another trivia controller. and she ordered a beer for herself, I did as well. The bartender delivered the controller and a personized stein with her name on it full of Guiness. The first game I started out good, and by the time we finished 15 questions I had kicked ass. She then told me she needed to go outside to smoke. She told me she only smokes when she drinks... From the looks of that mug, she must drink a lot.

The second game she kicked my ass hands down. So she is smart, at least on trivia. The 3rd game I again got my ass handed to me. WTF! Did she let me win that first one? She won the fourth game, but not by as much. She is a very nice lady. I doubt this is someone I will be with long term, but she is a lot of fun. I wouldn't mind having her as a friend. We have VERY similar senses of humor.

I keep going back...

2008-09-29T21:54:00.004-06:00

It's been almost a year since I broke things off with MS. It stills feels wierd, and I don't know why. As I analyze things in my own head I know that the reasons I broke it off were very good reasons. Yet I did care for her quite a bit... obviously not enough to keep it going.

Well, I'm not sure if I have blogged about this at all, but she is now dating one of my best friends. She and my friend Dan met because of the game nights that we would put together. Part of me is jealous, but then I keep wondering why. Although I was the one that broke it off, I guess I don't let go sometimes. It was a number of months ago that Dan told me they were dating. I was honest with him and told him that it did give me some anxiety, but I also told him that it is just something I will deal with. Dan assured me that there was nothing going on between them with she and I were together. I wasn't concerned about that at all.

Two weekends ago I hosted game night. This was the first time I had seen them together as a couple. At first it was a bit uncomfortable, but that feeling did pass. I almost cracked at one point because she she always called me "baby" when talking to me. Well, now Dan is baby, but I almost responded. Dan and I are good enough friends that we would have laughed it off, but there was a couple there that was new to the group, so it could have made for an interesting explanation.

Another ex-girlfriend contacted me a few weeks ago. I met up with her last week to watch some football. I have gone back to dating her a couple times now, and each time things didn't work out (duh). The last time I broke it off because she wanted to just be friends. With some ex-girlfirends that works for me, but this one I fell for hard a number of years ago. There is one thing I know... my feelings for her have always been more than friends. I ended the "relationship" last time after 2 month because I wanted more than just being friends.

I don't know what will result from this. It was so great to just talk and get caught up. A lot has gone on in both of our lives. I am very hesitant to get too close at this point, and I know a few of you are just rolling your eyes. I do need to see this through. We'll see if we're at all compatible.

My kids and I are driving to Michigan in about a week and a half. Mom has had her surgery and is doing very well. I hope this was a long term fix. She sounded really good on the phone the other day.

I need to get the Malibuick (this is what the guys at work call my Malibu) in for some maintenance before the trip. I have had the car since January, and I rolled over 24,ooo miles today... UGH! When I picked it up it had 7 miles on it.

The Many Layers of Jon

2008-09-21T09:30:00.004-06:00

Layer One: On the Outside
Name: Jon, Noj, Shankenstein, Shankbone, Harvey
Birthday: just over 2 months away
Current Location: Kitchen, avoiding cleaning the floor after last nights party
Eye Color: Green-ish... used to be very blue
Hair Color: Brown, with a tiny hint of gray
Righty or Lefty: Righty, and trying to be a switch hitter (basebal, you pervs)
Zodiac Sign: Saggy

Layer Two: Just Below the Surface
Your Weakness: I have a hard time telling friends no
Your Goal: Successful in parenting, work, and relationships
Your Fears: Failing my kids; embarrassment

Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: I don't want to go to work
Your bedtime: When I get around to it
Your most missed memory: My sister. The pain of losing her is slowly going away, but I miss the fact that I can never talk to her anymore

Layer Four: Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Dr. Pepper
McDonald's or Burger King: Chipotle
Single or Group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: New Balance... I need a EE width
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Tazo Chai
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla with some additions like reeces pieces, or peanut butter cups
Cappuccino or Coffee: again, Tazo Chai

Layer Five: Do You?
Smoke: Hell no.. never even tried it
Have a crush: Constantly
Think you've been in love: Due to the pain following, I would say yes
Want to get married: Maybe
Believe in yourself: Most of the time
Think you're a health freak: Bad health freak

Layer Six: In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: More this month than most
Gone to the mall: Only when necessary
Eaten Sushi: Love it! Spicey Tuna Roll is the best
Gone skating: not for a hell of a long time
Dyed your hair: Never

Layer Seven: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: No, but if you ladies are willing ;-)
Gotten beaten up: Not really. I fought my brother all the time when I was a kid, but I don't think we ever did much damage to ourselves. Other fights never lasted long.
Changed who you were to fit in: No way... I usually tell people how they are being Lemmings when they do that.

Layer Eight: Getting Old
Age you’re hoping to be married: Does age really matter after your first.
Plastic Surgery or Wrap: No, but I do moisturize
Buried or Cremated: Cremated. Why waste the land?

Layer Nine: Perfect Mate
Best Eye Color: Blue
Best Hair Color: Auburn
Short or Long Hair: Doesn't matter, just take care of it.

Layer Ten: What were you doing...
1 HOUR AGO: Reading blogs
1 WEEK AGO: Replacing my water heater. That was a shity day.
1 MONTH AGO: I was in San Diego
1 YEAR AGO: Working, slaving

Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence
I LOVE: My my kids
I HATE: Being put in situations where I know my decisions will cause others difficulty
I HIDE: In my house
I MISS: My family
I NEED: To get going on a lunch date

WOOHOO... 2 posts this month

2008-08-30T01:37:00.002-06:00

Inspired by Grace

I actually took a couple days off of work this past week and met up with a friend of mine in San Diego. No... It wasn't Jillie. It was a different friend that happens to live a couple hours from there in Arizona. I've mentioned her a few times before, but it's been years (literally). Unfortunately, Jillie was in the midwest having her usual fun, like visiting another one of my favorite bloggers, Evening, so we didn't get a chance to meet for that drink she owes me (or do I owe her?)

Had fun... relaxed a bit... took pictures... I didn't take my laptop or my work cell phone (which probably irritated my boss (ask me if I care).

I am not in the mood to insert the pictures right now, but I will eventually.

My mom is having a tough time in Michigan this year. She's had chronic heartburn, and is now having lots of bladder infections. She had to miss her yearly trip to Maine (remember the lobster from last year?) because of it. I feel bad for her.

After dealing with a couple lazy doctors that just want to treat symptoms my sister got her to someone who finally figured out what was going on. Her insides are shifting out of place. I guess this is common when you get older, but I've never heard of it.

The shifting (or dropping) has caused her bladder to get pinched off which is causing the infections. She is scheduled for surgery next week. It is freaking me out. She is 80 years old.

I am going to take my kids to Michigan during their fall break from school in October. I hope that will cheer her up. We'll be driving, so it won't be quite a week that we're there.

I am also planning on going to Michigan this year for Christmas. I won't have the kids, but I am planning on taking my brother with me since he couldn't go last year. It's just not the same without Mike there, but it won't be the same without my kids either.

I may have time for a Michigan Bloggers gathering if anyone is up for it.

Dr. Horrible

2008-08-02T18:48:00.007-06:00

There is nothing better than to find something out there that is not only from the best writer/director in the world (Joss Whedon), but it is funny... DAMN FUNNY!

You be the judge (only available on the web... for now)

I can't wait to get the DVD

I have totally screwed things up on my template, so i can't add a permanent link to the Dr. Horrible site on the sidebar :(

Meme

2008-07-28T23:52:00.004-06:00

Grace was giving me shit about not posting, so I stole the meme from her, that she stole... I am so lazy

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? The charger to my Treo for work

2. When was the last time you threw up? A couple years

3. What’s your favorite curse word? Fuck stain

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? KityKate, Alan, and Jason

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Driving to work

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Looking at flights to San Diego

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? sleeping... hopefully with sex dreams

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Fucking Assclown

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Diet Pepsi

13. What was the last thing you ate? Buffalo Wings

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No, but I did last week

15. When was the last time you ran? For exercise or out of fear?

16. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Red Sox Angels this evening from the Wings place

18. Who is the last person you emailed? KityKate

19. Ever go camping? YES!

20. Do you have a tan? barely... I stay out of the sun. I don't want to shrivel up like my dad

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw? About half the time

25. What did your last IM say? OK

26. Are you someone’s best friend? Possibly

27. What are you doing tomorrow? SSDD

28. Where is your mom right now? at her apartment in Michigan

29. Look to your left, what do you see? Paper shredder

30. What color is your watch? I don't wear one

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia? Beautiful women

32. Would you consider plastic surgery? Only if mamed

33. What is your birthstone? Citrine I think

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Usually go in

35.How many kids do you want? 2, and I have them already... snip snip. But I am always willing to practice with someone ;-)

36. Do you have a dog? not any more

37. Last person you talked to on the phone? My eldest

38. Have you met anyone famous? Yes, a few

39. Any plans today? sleep, drive, work, stress, drive, crash

40. How many states have you lived in? 3

41. Ever go to college? Yes

42. Where are you right now? Home, in basement

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? My back

44. Last song listened to? Crazy Bitch (scary that Grace listened to the same song)

46. Are you allergic to anything? Is there anything I'm not allergic to?

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? New Balance athletic shoes

48. Are you jealous of anyone? No, but I am envious

50. Is anyone jealous of you? I hope not... that would be sad

51. What time is it? 12:06 am

52. Do any of your friends have children? yes, about half of them

53. Do you eat healthy? I try... and fail often

54. What do you usually do during the day? work and pull practicle jokes on my team

55. Do you hate anyone right now? I wouldn't say hate

56. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? Yes, a lot

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 44... MAKE IT STOP

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes, but the one in Denver is no longer a Six Flags

60. How did you get one of your scars? Flaming marshmallow landed on my wrist; and when I was about 1 I pulled on a toaster chord and the toaster fell off of the counter and landed on my head.

TA-DA

I have a new boss

2008-06-28T10:37:00.005-06:00

...this doesn't change anything about my job, other than now I have to get him clued into how fucked up things are with some of our projects. He's been here a week and I think he was a bit surprized and the extent of the mess.

He seems like a good guy, and easy to work with. He has asked some very good questions, and I know he wants to do the right thing. I think our department is the only one trying to fix the problems at this place. But I look at it this way, if the other groups need to continue to work they have to go through us. Yes, we have the power to make their lives difficult, but I don't work like that. The VP of our section wants me to do things that could definitely make people take notice, but that would cause impacts to customer deliveries, so I need to find a better way to work them into our plans.

Tired...

2008-06-26T23:32:00.006-06:00

I am beat. I don't want to bitch about work. It wears me out to the point where I get home and don't want to do a thing.

Late weekend I kind of just wanted to sit around and veg, but I promised to take my kids to a Rockies game Saturday.

The Rockies are doing pretty mediocre this year, but I like to take the kids to a big league game once in a while. It was a great game and great weather. Yes, I have pics.

Even the sunset was beautiful.

Sunday I was just going to drop the kids off at a paintball park (is it a park?). Well, my good friend Mike was taking his whole family too, so they worked on me for a couple days prior. I ended up joining them.

I have never done paintball before, but I ended up doing really well, although I was EXHAUSTED by the end of the day. My legs were shaky from all the covert sneakiness I was doing. I think playing war type video games over the past few years taught me a lot :D But now I am bruised, and still a little sore 5 days later.

I am going to be sick if I don't get some rest.

Goodnight

Music is life

2008-06-02T22:37:00.006-06:00

I have always loved a pretty wide variety of music, and I have always enjoyed getting suggestions from friends on what to listen to. Melanie recently introduced me to a few new favorites. Now I am asking you all to make more suggestions.

I now have a play list over there on the right. Its by no means complete. I plan on adding a bunch more when I find the time.

On other exciting fronts...

Bizarro chick and I have had some really honest and difficult conversations as of late. I gave her a week off (basically I have been ignoring her calls). Tonight I was visible in IM, and she hit me up to talk. I kind of let her have it. I tried not to be hurtful, but there isn't an easy way of doing this.

Sooo.... She is still being extremely needy, even after all this. I told her that she needs some time to get her head straight after breaking up with her long distance guy. She tried trowing some of it back in my face, but that just made me feel like I was breaking up with a girlfriend.

So we may or may not be much of friends after all this.

groan

... and I haven't had any today

2008-05-31T09:01:00.003-06:00

I got this from Amorous Rocker, and thought I would share.

A silly test... and I could have done a little better. I am a master mouse clicker.

OnePlusYou Quizzes an

Sure Happy Its Thursday

2008-05-29T21:31:00.005-06:00

A couple from one of my favorite bands. Kind of fitting...

You Wanted More

Mean To Me

Bizarro - I hope that's it

2008-05-23T22:48:00.005-06:00

Let me paint the picture. She is 39 years old, but looks at most about 32. Medium long blonde hair, pretty face, and a very nice body. So for me to not want a romantic relationship with her is saying a lot about her issues. She is very needy with a capital N, and now she's on the rebound.

... So while I was down stairs fixing my friends computer she was watching Cloverfield. Luckily I had finished the blog post and was working on the other system because she snuck down to the basement and was watching me fall asleep at the workbench.

I had just finished what I was doing and started a defrag when I was dozing off. The movie ended, and she wasn't overly impressed by it. She's never had that great of taste in movies.

I got my sleepy ass upstairs and cleaned up a little, and she plopped her ass down on the couch. Apparently she wasn't going to leave on her own. This just means I have to deal with it. On top of that it turns out she poured herself a nice big glass of juice, and added a generous helping of my vodka to it (at least it was cheap vodka).

This wouldn't be the first time she might have to crash at my house, but I was determined to confront the "issue" and send her on her way. I don't think that was her plan at all. I got the distinct impression that she wanted me to drag her to my bed and do all kinds of fun things to her.

I wasn't taking the bait.

I do have some self control. I know that this is hard to believe for a guy. Especially from a guy that is not currently getting any. The situation reads RED FLAG in my mind, which makes me able to control my libido. I am certain that most guys would have done the nasty and ditched her. I don't play that way.

So she asks me point blank what the problem is with the two of us dating again. Suddenly I felt like I came to a gunfight with a pocket knife. I didn't want to insult her, or make her feel bad. I am not a very good speaker when confronted like this, so I probably sounded like a total moron.

After telling her that I just don't think it would work, which she wonders why I think that, I ask her if she is ok to drive. This gives her the semi-obvious hint that I want her to leave. It took another 10 minutes or so before she was finally getting up to go.

She didn't plead or beg. She just said "Think about it" with a coy look.

I am afraid this has ruined our friendship. I know I'll always think that she is hoping I'll change my mind.

Bizarro - In Real Time

2008-05-22T22:37:00.004-06:00

Another ex-girlfriend of mine and I have stayed friends over the years. She's kind of flaky, but she is fun to hang with sometimes. We dated about 4 years ago. She has heard all of my strange stories since then about women I am dating, and the strangeness that eventually breaks the relationships.

There are a number of reasons I don't want to date this lady anymore. Some of it is just her personality, and other reasons have to do with her kids. It just doesn't work for me. I have remained friends with her, but made it clear that we would not be "a couple". She was always fine with this.

Last night she started texting me saying that she knows someone that has a crush on me. I found this odd because prior to dating her 4 years ago I went on one date with a lady that ended up being one of her close friends. So for her to say she knows someone else from my past was quite curious.

I asked her who it was, but she said she promised not to tell. It was cute at first, but then became very high schoolish and annoying. Well tonight she stops by unannounced (I thought she was going to call) and fessed up to it. She was drunk, and she was referring to herself. ARGH!... That's all I need.

So apparently last night she broke up with her long term long distance boyfriend that we've both known was a long term waste of time. She proceeded to drink herself into a mess, luckily staying at home. She then started the texting.

OK, I didn't want to date her before... Does she really think I'll want to date her after the school aged bullshit?

I had plans tonight to finish a computer repair for a friend, and maybe play some WoW. She knows this but asks if she can hang out and watch Cloverfield. She's upstairs right now. I am working on the computer. Now I need to kick her out soon.

The drama is sure to continue

Bizarro World...

2008-05-04T12:12:00.007-06:00

I've had what I would call a rash of strange discussions lately.

I never dated in high school. When I went off to college I met a girl in Phoenix that was nice. Unfortunately I met her about the time I needed to leave. We went out on a number of dates. I was 19, she was 16. I know what you're thinking... we never had sex.

Well, out of the blue she IMs me. She was leaving her second husband and heading back to Phoenix. Why does she contact me? I have no idea. Maybe she just needed to talk to a friend. We reminisced about the past a little. It got wierd but I kind of ignored it. Emotionally she's not in a good place right now, so I just let the "what if" questions go by without much of a responce. I have a feeling I am going to hear a lot more from her.

So Saturday, I am reading over e-mail and doing some research when I see that I have a message waiting for my on my Facebook. It happens to be from the girl I dated a few months after I got back from Phoenix.

Is this a warped episode of "You Bet your Life"?

This was the first girl I ever had really strong feelings for, but that was over 20 years ago, which is hard to believe. She's been married for a while. We kept in contact about once a year with Christmas cards until she got married. She was always afraid my ex was going to get jealous, and my ex always did. But I was not going to tell a friend that she couldn't send a Christmas card. Hell, my ex used to get gifts from one of her ex-boyfriends. I was never threatened by it. The guy was as annoying as gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe.

Anyway, she now has her PhD in Fine Arts. She was a music major and a very talented teacher even way back then. She used to teach private lessons to beginner sax and clarinet players. I think that is one of the things I really liked about her. I am extremely proud of her accomplishments. It's funny that we've reconnected so many years later. I remember her saying once that it may not be soon, but someday she and I would be very happy together. I don't believe for a second she was still working toward that.

It's been a weird weekend with a lot of reminiscing. It makes me wonder what might be around the next turn. I think I'll go buy a Powerball ticket.

No Going Back

2008-05-02T08:01:00.003-06:00

I've had second thoughts up until a couple weeks ago about fixing things up with MS. I know it's hard to just change the way you think about someone. Maybe I've just been lonely. She was always around, and now for 6 months I have not really dated anyone. A random date here and there, but nothing that sticks.

We see each other now and then. She had asked if it was ok if she could stay in our board gaming group (we get together about once a month). I was fine with it. The first couple game nights were uncomfortable, but we've gotten past it.

She told me that Dan from our gaming group had convinced her to start playing World of Warcraft a couple months ago. I thought that was odd. Not the fact that she was playing a video game... she is quite a geek in her own right, but the fact that she was playing a PC game. She's an XBox player. I guess Dan and her had been playing a lot, and I had a feeling something might develop out of it. Dan confirmed it the other day. He told me over IM, and asked if I was ok with them dating. I did feel a little jealous, but I know that MS's and my problems would not go away. I was fine with it.

A week or so later MS and I talked about it. She knows I am feeling wierd about it, but she said it herself that the reasons I broke up with her were valid and would not be getting any better anytime soon. I think she was a little stunned by my little bit of jealousy.

She is right, and I will get past this. It just feels weird. I've never dated someone then had a good friend date her later. There was this thing with my brother once, but that was a whooooole different story.

Long time, no HNT... Anti-drama

2008-05-01T20:57:00.008-06:00

It's been like 2 years (or more) since I've done an HNT.

I have a lot of friends dealing with drama lately. I can't stand drama. I wish I could just make all the negative shit just go away.

I know it's not being realistic, but damn...

One friend has a legal battle staring her in the face over a child. I can't imagine what this must feel like. I can't imagine trying to take my kids away from their mother. Just the thought of it can bring me to tears.

Luckily I had a couple of great days with her recently. I hope this turns out in her favor.

I have another friend that has a different type of drama going on. She is being stalked. She knows who it is as until recently they were dating. This guy follows her around. Knows everywhere she goes. Brakes windows in her car, and breaks into her house and steals things (2 laptops so far).

The cops are involved, and they are hoping to get some hard evidence on the guy. His actions are escalating, and I am worried about her saftey. Unfortunately she doesn't live here, so there isn't much I can do to help.

I lead a pretty simple life. I have my struggles, like everyone else, but it makes no sense to me why people have to be this malevolent. Why do relationships end up in such a spiteful manner? People need to focus their negative energy on something else. Get over yourselves!

Projects just keep coming

2008-04-24T23:14:00.006-06:00

There comes a time when you have to just say no. That time came today.

Last week I was working 12 hour days including on Saturday. We're finally able to implement some of the changes we've been proposing to our development group. I had my whole department in at work for 9 hours Saturday, then a couple of us had to be on-line from home to deal with some minor problems that a developer was having.

This first phase has really stressed me out. I have been wanting to get this done for over a year. Now that phase 1 is done I feel so much better. As far as I know there haven't been any complaints about our changes. I am pleasantly surprised.

The next phases will be equal or worse on the stress scale. Things are starting to pile up. Last year no one wanted to make these tool changes, but now that it's been drilled into their heads everyone seems to need us all at the same time. This isn't feasible, but that doesn't stop them from trying.

I was going to start testing of the data imports from one tool to another yesterday, but as I was setting my laptop on my desk, my boss comes by and asks if I was going to walk over to the Hyatt for the Project Management training class. My jaw dropped. I totally forgot to put that in my calendar. DAMNIT! So I've had to go in for Project Management training for the last 2 days.

The good thing is... now I know what my boss wants when he asks for a project plan.

For the last few months I have had a hard time sleeping before midnight. This week I've been falling asleep while watching movies in the evening. I think it all started this week because a friend came to see me, and kept me up until 5 AM Saturday night.

I am so tired... burned out...

I really want to buy a new trombone and join a community band, but something keeps me from doing it... the fact that I work in Denver, I don't think they'll be too pleased with me being later periodically. Maybe I should just do it, and see how it goes.

The Dating Persona Test

2008-04-03T22:57:00.004-06:00

I got this from Grace. I had nothing better to post that you haven't already heard me bitch about. I didn't expect to be marked as "The Gentleman" due to some of the answers I gave. I guess I am not too much of an ass.

The Gentleman

Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLM)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. She is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced.

Your exact male opposite:

The Last Man on Earth

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The Battleaxe (DBLM)

Consider: The Maid of Honor (DGLM), someone just like you.

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test OkCupid - free online dating Dating

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2008-03-17T22:46:00.005-06:00

I don't have anything new... Just a celebratory picture from a few years ago. I hope you all celebrated safely.

Busy month... but someone wanted an update

2008-03-15T12:05:00.009-06:00

So Kevin is the starting catcher for the freshmen baseball team at his high school. He is taking this year very seriously, both school and sports. I think it's funny how the school's eligibility standards are so low. If he is failing 1 class he cannot play... My ex has a much higher standard. If he has a C he cannot play. We'll see if she'll buckle if that happens. I am betting so. Kevin is still in 2 honors classes, band, and now sports. Yesterday he tells me that the coach wants him to play on the JV team this week to see how well he does. He is an awesome catcher, but I am not expecting him to get much playing time on JV. He is also on the freshmen team. So he has 6 games this week. UGH!

His grades are very good, not perfect, but I don't care that much about having straight As. If he gets them I will be extremely proud, and reward him in some way. He's been continuing his drum lessons away from school, but is about to put those on hold until after baseball season is over. He still plays trumpet in band, but I can tell he doesn't like the teacher. I have a feeling he is going to want to drop band unless this guy is less of a dick. I was going to have to call the guy because he was going to fail Kevin in band because he missed a concert. My ex sent a note stating that Kevin had a huge English assignment that needed to be done, so she was note allowing him to go to the concert.

I totally agree that he needs to make his best attempt at being at all concerts and contests for the band, but when an academic class is suffering, you have to focus there first. What an asshole. Kevin asked for his number so I could call him. He apparently chickened out and gave Kevin a writing assignment to do to make up for the concert. Coward! I am going to track down his number anyway, or at least his e-mail.

Erik tried out last week for little League. We find out which team he is on this week. He is excited. He is doing well in school as well.

He got his yellow belt in Tae Kwon Do a couple weeks ago, which he is also into very much. I think it is teaching him a lot of good things.

Erik is a reading machine these days. It's hard to believe that he was considered well below his class just a few years ago. Thank you J. K. Rowlings!!! We still need to work on his writing.

So work is again kicking my ass. The main reason I was hired aover 18 months ago was to implement some pretty substantial process changes and new tools. Well, most of the process changes require the tools to change. We JUST got the company to buy the tools a couple weeks ago. We've had a year to prepare for this, but there is only so much prep you can do ahead of time.

We've been working a lot of weekends lately getting things ready, and upgrading the servers to accommodate more people using them. Now I am going into presentation mode, trying to explain all of the things that we are putting in place, and of course dealing with all of the resistance that comes along with change. My stress level is way up.

One of my guys is under so much pressure (not from me) that I am afraid he is going to crack. His wife doesn't work, and she got into an accident (not her fault) totaling the very nice SUV he bought for her. She is now traumatized and is afraid to drive. He works a second job on the weekends. The only car he has now is a piece of shit 15+ year old Nissan Sentra. And now that is giving him trouble. The guy seriously works 70+ hours a week.

I was talking to a friend of his (we all play World of Warcraft together). Scott is a good guy. I've never met him in person, but we had a talk last night about Mike. He works with Mike at Mike's other job. He is concerned about Mike too. He also thinks Mike's wife needs to get a job. Apparently she does nothing. I guess one of the reasons Mike doesn't mind working so much is because if he had idle time at home, she would dream up projects for him to do on the house. I know this year he has built a deck, started finishing his basement, replaced a number of appliances, etc.

On top of all this she calls him ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I give Mike shit for leaving his cell phone on his desk, but now I know why. He doesn't answer it if he doesn't have it on him. I remember when my ex used to call me all the time at work. It drove me crazy. He is such a nice guy, I hear some of his side of the conversations, and she sounds like the neediest woman on the planet. I also think she is a hypochondriac.

So what's going on with me, besides kids and work? Nothing really, but there is something coming up.

I have casually asked the lady from work out, was it she that asked me out. She only works in the office 3 days a week. She works from home the other 2 days. I told her about 9 months ago that I owed her a drink for helping me with something. I never followed through with going out for drinks. I was just trying to tell her how much I appreciated her hard work. Sure there was a little flirting there. I am a flirter. What can I say? But the fact was, I was seeing MS.

The last couple weeks she's been helping me out with some other things. Her department needed some stuff from me, so she's been giving me shit about it. Our IM conversations turned personal. I've learned a lot about her recently. She's asked a lot about me. She thought I was still seeing MS. When I told her I wasn't she said she figured I was most of the way to being married. She then told me I looked married. What the hell is that? She then said something about making me look single again. I still don't understand. She then reminded me that I stilled owed her a drink. I took this as her giving me a not so subtle hint to ask her out. I didn't right then, but I told I do need to do that.

She is always there on Fridays, but yesterday I wasn't. It snowed something like 5 inches here over night, so I decided to be a chicken and not risk the drive. I sent her an IM that spurred a long conversation which she was disappointed in me for not being there. She said she didn't need to be home for the kids. She wanted me to take her out for that drink. I asked if I can take her out on Monday instead... so we'll see.

I am still very nervous about seeing someone from work. I just get the impression from her, that even if we don't work well in a relationship we could still be friends, but then again women are unpredictable.

Happy Blogiversary

2008-02-17T22:29:00.003-07:00

Today is my 3 year anniversary of blogging. Thank you all for being part of it.
It may not always be pretty, but I think it is all me.

CHEERS!

I am confused

2008-02-09T10:02:00.001-07:00

Women are a constant source of confusion for me.

I met a woman a couple months ago, actually, she IMed me in Yahoo out of the blue. I tell her she is my stalker. I've kept this on a just friends basis because I wasn't really wanting to "date" anyone. I had just broken up with MS, so she understood, and was fine with just being friends. We probably talk once or twice a week, so i started learning a lot about her, as well as she learned about me.

There are a lot of things going on in her life that make her a bad candidate for dating. The fact that she is married is not the biggest of problems. I won't go into all of it.

She really seems to like me, but gives me plenty of space. She gets flirty with me, but then tells me that it takes a lot before she would trust a man enough to have sex (not that I was trying). From further conversations it was pretty obvious she wanted to "go out".

We met for dinner right before I went to Michigan for Christmas. No pressure for calling this a date. We were just meeting and talking. No different than us chatting on the computer.

After this I got very busy, but continued to talk to her on IM, as well as an occasional phone call. There was never any pressure or guilt laid upon me if I didn't talk to her for a week or so. I would get an IM, just saying that she hoped I was having a good week, or something like that. I appreciated the space as well as the occasional "hello".

I like having women friends. Part of it is probably the sexual tension that is naturally present. But I think most of it is just the different kind of things I can do with a woman friend, that guys don't really do together. Although I will go to a movie with my guy friends, it doesn't happen often.

I think another aspect of it is I can talk pretty openly with a woman about my love life, where I can't with most of the guys. It's just not "manly" to talk about relationships. With her it is different. I'm not as open about these types of discussions.

She got very flirty with me on the phone a couple weeks ago. I played along for a little while, but for some reason I felt guilty about it. Almost like I was leading her on in a way. So I got serious with her. I was very candid with her about things going on in her life that I had a problem with (from an angle of dating her). She didn't take it well. She got very upset with me, and told me that she was amazed at how nice of a guy I was... up until this conversation. The fact of the matter was that I was just telling her my feelings about my hesitation to be anything more than friends with her. Trust me, there is a lot here.

She started crying, which is like torture to me. I wasn't trying to insult her. She had to have known that the circumstances she is in is not conducive to being in a relationship. I told her she was over-reacting, but we all know that once a woman gets this upset I was just dumping gas on the fire.

A day or 2 later she sent me an e-mail apologizing, and saying she hopes we can still be friends. I was fine with being friends as long as the drama was gone. The last couple weeks have been drama free... pretty much back to normal.

We went out to a movie last night (only our second time face to face). There was no drama, and we did have fun, but it's just not feeling right. I feel like I am in limbo land, somewhere between dating, and friends. It's very odd, and will probably just fizzle.

I think I've become cynical.

I know I'm slow

2008-01-26T16:10:00.000-07:00

I've been awfully busy lately. Work has been difficult, as usual, but on top of the normal bullshit, I had to get my employee's reviews done. It is one of the main things I dislike about being a manager. It sounds like my boss wants me to do more management stuff, instead of being more of a technical manager (I work as well as manage... hehehe). He's recommended I do some training, but I am not sure what kind of training will be available.

Last weekend I had a great weekend of skiing with the boys. My sister and a bunch of her friends came to Colorado to ski for the week. She wasn't flying in until Sunday, so was hoping I could take a day off and bring the boys up. The funny thing was, I already took Monday off because I was going to take the boys skiing for Sunday and Monday. We just changed oour plan as to where we would go.

Normally we go to Monarch a lot because it is WAY cheaper, and the crowds are not nearly as bad as anything up west of Denver. Patti and her friends were coming to ski Winterpark, which I have never tried, so I figured what the hell. I got a room at the Best Western, and we headed up. She was traveling Sunday, so I skied with the kids that day. The conditions were as good as I have ever seen them. Fresh powder, sun shining, and no wind. It doesn't get much better than that. The crowds weren't too bad considering it was the weekend.

I forgot to take my good camera, so I had to take these with my new Helio phone.

Of course, there were no pictures of me.

I didn't take the new car up there. I still have the truck, which is 4 wheel drive, so I keep it around for things like climbing over Berthoud Pass. That is a winding mother of a road.

But as promised (and nagged about), here are some pics of the new wheels.

I am really liking the car, but I still feel weird whenever I see a Vibe on the road. I know I shouldn't be that attached to a car. I realize it is not the pretties car on the road, but there was something about it I just loved.

Since some of you were wondering, I haven't done anything about asking out the lady at work. Part of me wants to, but actually part of me is still liking not dating right now. I'm sure my thoughts on this will change when my horniness makes the decision for me.

The Car and Thanks

2008-01-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

No one was around this weekend to take a picture of me modeling with the new car.

I posted that picture because it is the color of my Malibu. I think the picture doesn't do it justice. The background color is too blah. I really does look sharp. It is called Dark Grey Metallic. It looks really good with the 2 toned leather interior :D

I promise to get some real pictures of it up. I am very pleased with it. It is the nicest car I have ever owned.

I know I was bitching about the car. I realize how close I came to being a meat puppet. I choose not to dwell on that. I am very happy to be alive and in one piece. Thank you all for your regards. I REALLY do appreciate it.

Chrissie... I know you love your PT Cruiser. Why, I'm not quite sure. I would bet you have some decent extras. the one I had sucked hard, and not in a good way.

Saturday I spent the day being the total geek that I am . I packed up my computer and went to a guy's house who I've never met before for a LAN party. There was about 16 guys in the basement of this house playing computer games together. It was a riot. I sucked. I was typically down toward the bottom of the stats for each game. I was there for 12 hours straight. When I left they were still going strong.

Sunday I did laundry ALL F-ING DAY, and watched The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy on HD-DVD. That shit is way too cool. I was going to watch Ultimatum tonight, but I took the boys out to dinner.

I have been extremely busy at work writing personnel reviews and devising more plans to fix the world (ok, maybe just this company). My boss finally got a real office, so he doesn't sit in the cube next to me. Since no one else from my team sits near me I am having myself moved over toward my team. If I stayed put I would have been surrounded by QA women. That sounds great on paper, but trust me it wouldn't have been good.

Jason, one of the guys on my team, is trying to convince me to ask our recruiter out. She is very good looking, and very friendly. Kind of too bubbly in my opinion. I've done some checking and she is unattached. I would bet that she would go out with me, just from my impression from the way she is flirty with me. I just don't think it's a good idea. I've done the work romance thing before. It can be pretty ugly if it goes south. On top of that, she's in the HR department.

Not a New Years Resolution

2008-01-12T00:04:00.002-07:00

... but something was resolved

I said goodbye to the Vibe last weekend when I went and ripped out the stereo in the lot next to the collision center. Don't worry, I was allowed to do it. It was sad to sit in that dead hulk of metal and broken glass. I thanked it for saving my life.

The insurance company of the guy who caused the accident finally called me the other day to get my side of the story. I know they were just corroborating what they had already heard. I was kind of annoyed though. I was at work, and she was trying to twist the story as I told it. I know it is probably her job to do that, but I was frustrated. The good thing was that she finally agreed to take care of the liability. I'll get my $500 deductible any day now. They also conferenced in the Enterprise office and got that transferred to be billed directly to them.

I was hesitant to get a Malibu. I hadn't been impressed by the styling or the power since the 70s pony car versions. But this one is SWEET!

I had been having a hard time finding one I liked. Either the wrong colors or missing options I wanted, but I finally found one with all the options I wanted and the color I wanted. I got the sunroof, which I didn't really want, but these cars are selling so fast they can't keep them in stock. The guys at the Chevy dealer said that the Malibu was about the only thing they were selling. They sold maybe 2 other cars since the beginning of December that weren't Malibus.

Now I wonder if I am going to regret it when the new Vibe GT comes out in March. sigh

The latest before I head out

2007-12-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'll get a chance to say it before the 25th, so...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

These last 2 weeks have been intense. Work is unreal, but add to that trying to get things in a state where I can go on vacation, and then the car. I've rarely ever been this stressed.

The latest on the car is that the insurance company totaled it. I haven't decided on a replacement yet, and won't until I get back from Michigan. I still have not found out the name or the insurance company of the guy who caused the mess. The owner of the other truck involved called me yesterday thinking I was either the guy who caused it, or knew more information about the guy. It was hard to tell because his Spanish accent made it hard to understand him. He seemed like a nice guy. I asked him if any of the 6 guys in his truck were hurt. Apparently one of his guys was, but not bad.

So we're just waiting to get the report from the state patrol. Actually I don't have to wait. I have collision insurance, so I can buy a new car anytime. My insurance company is already getting ready to pay off the credit union that has the loan.

I hope to talk to you all soon. One or 2 of you I might even see in Michigan :D

Vibe One Down, Vibe One Down...

2007-12-10T18:36:00.001-07:00

As I said, I had to go to work Saturday. It snowed a little Friday night, but there wasn't much accumulation, I figured the main arteries and the interstate would be clear, which they were for the most part. BUT, I got in an accident just the same. A 3 car pile up (does 3 cars constitute a pile up?) on the Interstate. It was not my fault.

I was very lucky. The roads were not very slick in the lanes, but apparently the on-ramp was a different story. I was in the left of 3 lanes. A red Chevy crew cab pickup was in the middle lane just ahead of me. Suddenly I saw a tan Toyota pickup sideways entering the center lane ahead of the red pickup. I slammed on the brakes as I saw the red pickup t-bone the tan one. A fraction of a second later, the tan truck was spinning toward me. I just remember the air bags deploying. I'm not sure why I thought this at the time, but I remember thinking that the air bag was nice and soft. I then realized I was in a very fast spin. I thought to myself that someone else is surely going to slam into me while I was spinning out of control, but eventually I stopped on the right shoulder without any more bumper cars.

I sat there thinking I had to have been hurt, but I didn't feel any pain. The hood was crumpled, especially on the passenger side. The windshield on the passenger side was smashed in and sliced into the air bag. The passenger window was gone and glass was everywhere. When I finally took a breath and realized I was fine a lady in a big SUV drove up to me to see if I was alright. She explained to me that the police were already called, and then kept talking to me to make sure I was OK. Up where the other vehicles were there were people all around. I figured that couldn't be good. I stayed by my car. I was about 100 feet further down the road. That would have been interesting to watch someone spin that far.

I checked the rest of the damage around the car. The engine was still running when I finally came to a stop, but now I could see that the front of the car and part of the engine compartment were pretty mangled. I saw the radiator cap, and part of the radiator it was attached to, sitting on the battery. The passenger side front quarter panel was not there, so I thought. Actually it was still there, but was curled up like a long sheet of foil and sitting on the ground behind the front tire. The passenger door had some crumpling at the front of it, but the door could still open and close.

A fireman was walking toward me, so I met him half way. he wanted to see the car and make sure it was shut off, so we walked back to the car. I figured he would be used to seeing this stuff, but when he saw the front of the car he was surprised I was not hurt.

I am assuming that the insurance company will total the car. If so I have to get a new one (I am leaning toward a new Vibe of course, but thinking about a Saab as well). I'll probably know Monday. Kevin was going to get the Vibe after he can drive. I wasn't thinking I'd be in the market for another year. I've been discussing going to a police auction with a friend of mine for an alternative vehicle for Kevin. Now that is probably the way we'll go.

So for the time being I am driving a piece of shit PT Cruiser (I have dubbed it PT Loser). It's a gutless car. But why would a rental car company get cars without cruise control or anti-lock brakes? Due to this I don't think I'll be driving it to Michigan. We are still planning on going, but I'll turn it in for something better for the trip.

Pushing forward

2007-12-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

It is Friday night, and I have to go to work tomorrow. It's cold, and probably snowing as we speak. I guess we'll just have to see what happens. (bitch bitch bitch)

We doing our second attempt at moving the folks in Iowa to a new server. We think it will go well, but then again we thought that the first time.

I don't really have to be in the office, but 2 of my guys are going in, and one Systems Engineer. I'll probably work on some database crap I need to finish. That or do some performance review paperwork (somebody shoot me).

I will also take the guys out to a nice lunch... ON THE COMPANY!!!

Feeling Good

2007-11-30T19:27:00.001-07:00

I am getting older...

Today is my birthday, and nobody realizes it is. I like it that way.

I feel weird telling people it's my birthday, so I don't. Regardless I have received a number of e-mails, IMs, and eCards today, 90% of which are from people that have never met me. They probably only know it's my birthday because MySpace, or some other site told them. I do appreciate the well wishes.

The guys generally couldn't give a damn (for the most part). I know the guys I work with would probably have bought me lunch, but I don't like it when anyone makes a big deal over me. Maybe its my social anxiety.

Birthdays don't really bring me happiness. They haven't for many years.

On a good note...

I mentioned back in September that I have been working out. At that point I had been going to the gym in our building for a little over a month. Jason at work, who is also a friend, really motivates me. There are days that I can't go down to the gym in our building because of meetings and such. He definitely doesn't hound me about it, but he reminds me to get my ass down there.

This gym is quite nice. It isn't huge, but it has a lot of really good equipment. One room is full of weight lifting equipment, and the other has treadmills, elliptical machines, stationary bikes, etc. I mostly do the weight machines, but 1 or 2 days a week I'll get in some time on a bike.

I think I have only missed one work day of working out in the past 3 weeks. I am at the point where it feels good to get exercise everyday. This is totally foreign to me. I've never been much into this. I think the last time I got into any regular amount of physical exertion was when I was in college and my roommate and I played racquetball a couple times a week.

A few weeks ago Jason put up a challenge to me and the other guys in my department that have been working out. The challenge is that we need to lift the full stack of weights on one machine. We only had to lift it once. We get to choose which machine. We had through December to work up the strength to do it.

I have pretty strong legs. I was pretty sure I could already do one lift of the stack on the leg press, I was already doing full sets of 8 reps at close to the full stack. So Monday I proved I could do it. I think that is equivalent to about 220 pounds. I then decided to try this on the rest of the leg machines. I was successful on all 3. Somehow I felt this wasn't a good test for me since my legs have always been pretty strong.

I knew that the bench press machine was something I could not do a few months ago. My boss, who doesn't look very big came down to ask me something while we were down there. I think he also wanted to check out the gym. He sat down in his Dockers and dress shirt, and easily lifted the 200 pounds on that machine. The whole stack. My jaw dropped. After he left I sat down and tried. I couldn't even budge it. I felt puny.

When Jason made the challenge I had it in the back of my head that the bench press was one that I was not going to be able to do. I worked on it every other day, and although I was able to lift a lot more I didn't think I could do it.

Today it was just me and Jason. I was feeling good, except for my left shoulder I have to baby a little because of an ATV injury from about 7 years ago. I made some comment about the bench being my nemesis the other day. He told me I was full of shit, and that he thought I could lift the whole thing.

I got on the bench this morning. I was lifting a few plates less than the max (goal) to see how it felt. "POP" went my right shoulder. What the hell was with that? I set it back down and walked away. My shoulder didn't hurt, it just freaked me out a little. I did a few other machines and it felt fine.

I psyched myself up to give it another try. I told Jason what I was doing. He came over to encourage me. I decided to just jump to the max and give it a shot. He kept telling me it was easy. I did it!!! One clean rep of 200 pounds. It seemed a lot easier than I thought it would be.

Hurray for me! I am older and stronger than I have ever been.

Delays, and more delays

2007-11-27T07:54:00.001-07:00

****** UPDATED ******

See the added photo of the face...

It's been way too long since I posted.

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. I had a good time hanging out with my brother and his friends. Lots of booze, food, and football. I started drinking at 10:30 when I got to Mike's house. I was immediately handed a very tasty Bloody Mary.

Football that day sucked (for me).

I had the pleasure of playing host to a friend of mine the previous weekend. I had tickets for a comedy show the night she flew in, so we went to see Rodney Carrington. I needed a date since I bought the tickets months ago and MS and I are no more. It was a great show.

We did some sight seeing the next day. Something I don't do much of here in Colorado Springs, but I couldn't have a friend in town and not show the the Garden of the gods. Here are a couple pictures.

I love the soft focus effect here... but actually I think that was because my lens is dirty.

A picture of me, since it is so rare that I like a picture of me.

Can you see the indian face on the rock formation? The Ute Indians named the park. Obviously we white people translated the name.

Check out the rock climbers sitting on top of that out cropping
Now can you see the face?

On to Christmas...

My son, the drummer

2007-11-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Stacy let loose all the pride that she has over her son. I started telling her about my son, and realized I was just gushing on about him to the point that it was really my own post. So I decided to put it here instead.

Kevin, My oldest, who turns 15 in a couple weeks, was interested in playing drums back in 6th grade. His mom and I were against him playing drums. I tried and failed to get him to follow in my footsteps and play trombone. I didn't push very hard. He decided on trumpet, which I knew was going to be a decision he might regret. Trumpet and drums are the 2 most popular. He was not the best trumpet player, but he was far from worst. We never had him take private lessons. We should have.

He asked again to play drums a little over a year ago. My ex and I decided then that it would be okay, but knew his teacher wouldn't let him play in the band as there were already WAY too many "drummers" in the band His middle school was way over populated. But she did encourage him, which I appreciated. We started him in lessons. My ex-mother-in-law bought him a drum kit (which stays at my ex's house). He did very well in his first year of lessons. I sat in on a lesson one day. I was absolutely amazed how well he played.

My son has a few friends that formed a little garage band. They knew Kevin took lessons, but never heard him play. Kevin's drummer friend let him play on a couple songs. They were amazed at how good he was considering he's never played drums in a band. Kev isn't joining their band. Who needs 2 drummers (besides .38 Special)? But it got him really excited that he could play with others his own age.

Kevin took time off from the lessons due to baseball and vacations in the spring and summer, but is back at it. His drum instructor decided to move to a new location, just a couple miles away (WOOHOO! No having to cart him half way across town at rush hour).

His grades are excellent (not straight As, but damn close), he is athletic, a musician, and is in general a really great kid. What more can a parent ask?

Here he is in his Halloween costume.

Oh, and he has a truly great personality and sense of humor.

YEAH KEVIN!!!

Sigh

2007-11-03T21:00:00.001-06:00

Ever since my divorce I knew that there was someone out there that would feel for me the way I deserved. My dating "career" if you will has been filled with some very interesting times. I have met some really incredible ladies, a couple of which I fell for head over heels. Those feelings are always intense, incredible, and always welcomed.

Unfortunately those few times I felt that the feelings have either faded, or were abruptly changed by other emotions. Some have said it's because I get scared. I guess that may be a part of it, but I don't think that is all, or even a major part.

MS is a great lady, and a lot of fun to be around. But ever since getting ready for the trip to Maine this past July I've been having serious doubts as to our compatibility. I broke up with her.
I know I alluded to the fact that there was drama during our Maine trip when I posted way back when. I decided I didn't need to give you the details. But ever since that trip my feelings have been affected. It has a lot to do with the kids. While I made it no secret that her son is a problem, she never took the steps to deal with it. He is very ADD (I think I mentioned this a while back). Not only does this condition cause a strain with me and my kids, but she has to deal with him to get him to chill out. Then there is the effect it has on his school work. We had discussed his needing to be back on the ADD meds, but even though she said she would do it, it never happened.

This is a big problem for me. She has basically given up trying to help him have a good life. He is not stupid, his teachers even agree. It just seems to me that your child's well being should be your focus. Instead she would sometimes come spend the night with me while her 15 year old was home alone. I had assumed he was with his dad, but found out afterwards he wasn't.

So my feelings for her have gotten to the point where I know we don't have a future. It is very sad for me to even type that. Part of me feels like I failed in some way. Why do I find it so hard to break up with someone when other guys I know do it with such ease. Do I ever want to be like that? Probably not.

I felt a lot of depression coming on for the last couple months. I know the relationship had a lot to do with it. Or maybe it was what I knew about what I needed to do, but was avoiding. Now that it's over I feel even worse.

What will go wrong next?

2007-10-29T23:11:00.000-06:00

So, the Rockies got their asses handed to them last night, then the Broncos lose to the Packers in overtime tonight. What can possibly go wrong next?

I am on vacation this week. That seems like a good thing, and it really is. I just wanted to take my vacation on a week I don't have the kids. Not that I don't like being around my kids, but if I have to be here to take them to, and pick them up from school I would rather be working.

My vacation is a result of a shitty vacation policy at work that states if you don't use your vacation time by Dec 31st, you lose it. I don't think they'll even pay us out for the time. So this is the only week I have available to me. We have shit scheduled from now until the end of the years at work, and fitting all of my guy's vacations in before the end of the year as well. Personally I give us only about a 50% chance of getting all of the major things done that we have planned.

I am taking the 21st through 31st of December off as well. Obviously I haven't been taking off enough time this year. I miraculously got permission from my ex to take the boys to Michigan with me. My family is very happy about that. I was too until I started looking into plane tickets (over $1600 for all 3 of us). They are raping people this year. So I decided to NOT fly this year. Last year after getting stuck on a business trip due to blizzards, my brother and I drove straight through as soon as I got to town. I hope we don't have a repeat. Mike isn't coming this year.

I was thinking about taking the train, but even that was going to cost me close to $800 without even getting a sleeper. Looks like I'm driving it solo.

I went to MS's best friend's Halloween party Saturday night. Again we came up with a last minute costume. This one wasn't nearly as good as last years, but it worked.

Sorry for blocking out her face again...

You like where I bite?

Snow in October

2007-10-21T18:56:00.001-06:00

This is what I woke up to this morning...

We've had a pretty calm fall here in Colorado, but it is still a big surprise when something like this happens. You can't tell from this picture but we got a pretty good snow out of this for it being October. It kept snowing most of the day. At times pretty heavy. It's melting almost as fast as it comes down, but it is still exciting. I've forgotten to get my skis tuned. I had better get on that.

I've been keeping myself busy learning some video editing/DVD producing software. It has made it apparent that I need more memory in my system. Who would have thought 2 GB of RAM wouldn't be enough.

My first task I am assigning myself is to move all of the TV show episodes I have downloaded onto DVD. Then I'll clear the files off of my hard drive. That 1TB of storage doesn't last too long when dealing with videos.

What else can I tell you. The rest of my life is kind of the "Same Ol' Shit"

I am forcing myself to take a week off from work in the next couple weeks before more shit hits the fan at work. I mistakenly made it during a week I have my kids. I should have planned it when they are at the ex's. I'm going to see about changing it. I am feeling the need to go gamble.

Happy Birthday to E!

2007-10-14T20:03:00.000-06:00

My youngest turned 10 the other day. It's hard to believe he is in the double digits. My oldest turns 15 in just over a month. It is the birthday season in my family.

I upgraded the kid's computer to Vista the other day. I had the software for some time, but never felt the urgency to do the upgrade, especially after I had some trouble when I did it.

The reason I felt it was time was that my soon to be 15 year old had visited an adult oriented website last week while at my ex's. She told me that she found the link in the browser history. I usually don't check that because every time I have there was nothing, but this made me look at their computer. There was a different one than he had been checking out at the ex's.

I told him I was going to install Vista before he got here for the week, I didn't tell him why. Vista seems to have some really good parental controls. It was either install it or buy a filtering program.

I told him yesterday when we were all going to bed and he couldn't shut down his computer. I also set it so that he could not access the computer after 10 pm. He didn't argue. I think he was embarrassed enough that he knew he wasn't going to win anything.

I know he's going to figure out all he needs to know about sex one way or another, but I would rather have some control over the delivery of the information.

His girlfriend is very nice and sweet, but who knows what they are plotting. I read their computer conversations, but day to day contact and phone conversations are almost guaranteed to contain other troubling details.

On a good note, his report card was all A's and B's.

Inside Look

2007-10-09T22:12:00.000-06:00

So Roxi kicked my ass into at least posting something...

Here is my desktop. It is a picture I took while hiking in Maine back in late July/early August.

What's on your desktop?

I am sick of being stressed

2007-09-18T22:58:00.000-06:00

OK, so I've been bitching and moaning about the project in Iowa... well last week we laid off over a dozen people. Basically a house cleaning. There is an aweful lot of people there assigned to do jobs they are not qualified to do. Quite frankly, I am surprised the numbers weren't higher. There are a few people still there that I would have picked.

One of my key guys informed me that he's been offered a job at another company. He and I are friends, and we are both disturbed by the way things have been going for us, but I certainly don't want him to leave. He said he was on the fence. We discussed what it would take to keep him.

I let my director know what was going. It happened to be the same day he was leaving to go to Iowa for the lay off. He had a lot of shit on his plate to say the least. While he was gone, he and our VP discussed options and strategy to keep my guy happy. When they returned we had a meeting with him to discuss our options. He seems to have come back to our side of the fence. I hope they come through with what we discussed.

The one good thing that has come from this panic is that I am focusing more on our local issues than just the Iowa shit. We are working on plans for what we should have been doing in Denver all along. Iowa will hit us again, I am sure, but for now we are feeling better about our futures.

I've definitely had better days. My motivation is down, my mood is bad. The good thing is, I am working out just about everyday to help deal with my frustrations. I am feeling better, physically, than I have in a very long time.

The kids are doing great. This first quarter is flying by.

Girlfriend? Well, that isn't helping my mood.

I've been playing a bit of WoW lately. It's my escape. Probably a bad thing to do instead of dealing with my other issues, but I have gotten my Orc Hunter to level 27 :D

I'm still here...

2007-09-06T07:08:00.001-06:00

I'm in a funk...

I am over worked...

GF trouble...

What else is new? I went camping over the holiday weekend. Had a great time with my kids and my friend Mike's family.

So much happened these last few weeks I have a hard time putting it down in words. I need a vacation from my brain.

I miss chatting with you all.

Vacation News

2007-08-11T12:24:00.001-06:00

I hope you all have the patience to let these pictures load.

I went on a great vacation to the wonderful state of Maine. My mom is originally from a tiny little fishing town called Eastport. This area is absolutely beautiful. But first we stopped north of Boston to visit relatives of MS. The kids got to do some swimming, and burn off some energy. THANK GOD!

This is Eastport as seen from the back of our fishing boat.

The primary reason for this trip was to see family. My mom's siblings have been coming to Eastport every summer for decades, so having a family reunion to them might seem like a small deal, but they do it up right. This year was a bit more special. More people came this year than have come since the early 70s.

We rented cabins at two adjacent campgrounds. I wish I would have taken a picture of our cabin, but I failed miserably. Here's what our campground looked like as seen from the other campground. Seems like a silly picture to take, but the views were amazing.

Fishing was fun, but we didn't catch anything worth keeping.

We had a big lobster feed early in the week. I have never tried fresh lobster. The last time I came to Main I was about 10, and the thought of having to rip my food out of its shell didn't appeal to me. I have matured a bit since then.

I became very good at eating a lobster on this trip. But I don't take anything out of the main body cavity. No thanks! That's too much work.

Kevin wanted a lobster, so he got his own and enjoyed it. Erik didn't want one. We cooked up some burgers and dogs for the ones that didn't want lobster. But when Erik saw how much we were enjoying it he decided to try one. He loved it and ate almost a whole one AFTER eating a hamburger and a hotdog. Amazing!

Back in 2001 Eastport was the host of a semi-reality show called Murder in Small Town X. Fox Television built this statue to put in town for the show. The "winner of the show was a firefighter from New York City. He was killed on 9/11 just a week after the final episode of the show aired. The production crew had left the statue behind for the city of Eastport, but in 2005 the city re-dedicated the statue to Angel.

The town did really well as a result of the show. All the bed and breakfasts were booked solid. The stores and restaurants had record business. The show gave the city a kick in the butt. They've started all kinds of rejuvenation projects.

I've kind of taken over some of the genealogy work for the family. I found a book about the beginnings of the area, which my ancestors where involved in, but so far no mention in the book about our family. The book did point out that there is a lot of records in a museum in town that I was trying to go see, but unfortunately the museum was closed.

We also went whale watching one day. That was fun, but it got damn cold out on that boat. I was not prepared, but I managed without whining (until now). We saw some seals, porpoise, and fin whales. The fin whale seemed small to me, but in reality it is quite big. It's just that it doesn't show much when it breaches the water.

We went on hike in Lubec that was initially supposed to be only a couple miles, but unfortunately we missed a turn. The scenery was amazing. I'll close out with a bunch of pictures taken during the hike.

I'm Back

2007-08-08T06:27:00.001-06:00

I am back from my vacation and have been at work all week. I don't have time to post pictures right now, but will soon.

One More Day...

2007-07-24T19:17:00.001-06:00

until I am on vacation.

The big trip to Maine for my family reunion starts Thursday. I am anxious, and nervous. I don't know what to expect from this trip. I am going to be really self-conscious about myself, and people asking about MS. Am I stupid for taking my girlfriend on vacation with me? Probably.

I am really excited about seeing my immediate family, and seeing some of my extended family that will be there. I guess there are going to be family members there that I have never met before. That's what happens when your mom is from a large family and her siblings are spread all over the country.

I hope that it all goes smoothly, but I am afraid it won't/ I am going to try and stay calm, and not over-react. MS is getting stressed out because she knows I am going to be stressed out. AHHHHHH

I am surprised that I am not being asked to delay my vacation due to my job, but I told them that this was planned a year ago (well, not quite, but they don't need to know that). We're supposed to be rolling out new processes and tools to the group in Iowa at the end of August. We're not ready.

Actually I don't think we'll meet the schedule for one big reason. The server hardware we need has not even been ordered yet. I know that once the hardware is on order that our schedules will be screwed until we turn the switch.

The Iowa people are driving me crazy. We ask some really simple questions, and they skirt the answer EVERY FUCKING TIME. my frustration level with them is at an all time high. I am thinking they are trying to fuck this up for us, when in fact this will make their lives so much easier.

ACK!

I'll see you all after the 4th of August.

Unpopular Music Favorites Meme

2007-07-09T23:17:00.000-06:00

After that last meme it made me wonder if I was the only one that had a lot of unpopular music in my past. What are you all hiding in your musical past. I would like to hear from you, and possibly be influenced by you to check out some new music.

Pick 5 groups that you love that you think that most people have never heard of. Hit me with your best shots. I am going to try to find YouTube links for all of these. You don't need to, but if you can possibly manage the time...

I am going to have a hard time limiting this to five, but here it goes.

The Producers - No, they had nothing to do with the Mel Brooks movie or play... or movie. They had a few albums back in the 80s, and I caught them live twice. You older folks that watched MTV in the early days may remember this one.Their energy was incredible. They were a very friendly bunch of guys.

Split Enz - One of the more popular, yet never heard of bands I listen to. I still have some of their songs in my playlists. These guys were weird, but they created some amazing music. They started out in the early 70s, but never "made it big" here in the states until 1980 with this song. A few of the member of this bizarre group later formed Crowded house. If you haven't heard of them you should be ashamed. In doing some research for this post I learned that Crowded House just released a new record. I must find it!

Material Issue - In the early 90s my tastes were way into what was called Power Pop. I was finding next to nothing that I like in the mainstream. My best friend in high school turned me on to these guys. I hadn't seen the video until looking for it today. What a bunch of young kids. But they had a lot of great songs in a short period of time. Unfortunately the band fizzled when grunge came into the mainstream. The lead singer/song writer committed suicide about a year later.

Jellyfish - I've raved about these guys before. This is yet another bizarre group which had influences from 60s, 70s and 80 music. Jellyfish remains one of my favorite bands of all time. Their songs are very complex and fun. They would put on excellent live shows. They only lasted through 2 records. Maybe it was all the weird costumes.

Gary Myrick & The Figures - Another band that I learned about through my brother. I was borderline obsessive about listening to these guys. Every cassette I compiled back in the 80s would always contain a couple of their songs. In 1980 they seemed to be destined for greatness (in my opinion), but the band disappeared faster than they appeared. The band had 2 songs in the movie Valley Girl, and he had a solo record that got him a hit with "Guitar, Talk, Love & Drums". He was also a member of the band Havana 3AM back in 1991. I have enjoyed his music over the years, but none seemed to equal what I heard from his work with The Figures.

I hope you enjoyed them all

When I was 18...

2007-07-06T23:27:00.001-06:00

Meme Alert!!!

I got this from Os.

My take on these picks is a bit different that what I think was intended by the Meme. I did listen to a lot of pop radio. I was listening to the college stations to the New Wave shows. Once in a while there is a popular song or group that even my non-conforming musical taste would enjoy. Eventually everything moved away from guitar music and started to make me ill. Then came the hair bands. Yikes!

The rules:

1. Go to the Billboard #1 Hits listings (go here, scroll down, and you’ll
see them separated by decades/years on the left in the sidebar)
2. Pick the year you turned 18 (1982, for me)
3. Get yourself nostalgic over the songs of the year
4. Pick 5 songs and write something about how these songs affected you
5. Pass it on to 5 more friends

"Who Can It Be Now" - Men at Work - I was fully running down the New Wave path when these guys hit the scene. They looked goofy in their videos. Almost 3 Stooges like, so of course that appealed to me. I always loved bands that even though synthesizers were the rage they kept the guitar work up front. They were one of many Australian bands out in that time frame. I liked many of them.

"Someday, Someway" - Marshall Crenshaw - The first time I heard this song I was driving my oldest brother and I somewhere. Billy heard it start playing and turn up the shitty AM radio that was in my mom's 1976 Mercury Comet. It's a simple song, without a lot of flare, but it has heart. I immediately loved it. I bought this album (yes vinyl), and his second album right before heading to college. I was always awkward around "girls". I didn't date all through high school. I never even went to a dance. I didn't know how to dance, and I had no idea how to learn. One day while cleaning my apartment while playing this album I miraculously figured out how to move my ass to a beat. Pretty sad for a musician. I'm still not a great dancer, but I am not afraid to try anymore. Thanks Marshall!

"Paperlate " - Genesis - i bought this album from a used record store near home. I was on a big Genisis kick for many years to come. They were kind of artsy cool for their early career, but turned radio friendly and started cranking out excellent hits. This one happened to only come on their 3 Sides Live album. A double album with one of the 4 sides containing new stuff. Any band willing to put a horn section in has a lot of class in my book.

"867-5309 (Jenny Jenny)" - Tommy Tutone - An instant classic with pretty much the same guitar rhythm as John Mellencamp's "R.O.C.K in the USA", or The Romantics "What I Like About You". Yes, I know there are differences, but my point is that they all rock. I was hoping this wasn't going to be a one hit wonder. Oh well.

"Should I Stay Or Should I Go" - The Clash - Probably one of the songs responsible for moving me further away from main stream pop music. Sure it was a hit, but it was Punk. You either loved it or you hated it.

It really surprised me how few artists that I liked were on that list. This may have inspired another music meme. Originating from me means it's going to be a bit odd.

Too much information...

2007-07-05T23:06:00.001-06:00

... running through my head

The shit hit the fan at work about the Iowa projects. All that was planned has changed. I am scrambling to get ready for setting them up with the new tools and process by the end of August. I don't think that's enough time, but we're going to try.

My home Vista upgrade has caused me a couple of problems. Battlefield 2 is not working. I have updated drivers and BIOS (which created a big headache) and still it won't let me play. I may have to get a new video card. That is upsetting to me. WoW on the other hand is working better than ever. I guess I have to change my game of choice until a solution is discovered.

I've seen a couple movies this past month...

Knocked up: HILARIOUS!
Not quite as good as "40 Year Old Virgin", but damn close.

Evan Almighty: DISAPPOINTED
Too many holes in the story. Steve Carell is a favorite of mine. It had some good moments, but no where near as good as Bruce Almighty.

Live Free or Die Hard: KICKS ASS
I didn't think they could get another good movie out of the franchise. I was WAY wrong.

Ratatouille: AWESOME!

Brad Bird did it again (he wrote and directed "The Incredibles" too). This guy knows how to write and direct an animated movie.

I have upgraded

2007-06-25T22:31:00.000-06:00

I bit the bullet and upgraded to Vista

I am almost happy about it. It was an easy and safe install, it runs much better than XP, every picture seems to look better than before.

But I can't get Battlefield 2 to work. So I am a little upset. I've tried new vid drivers, and running it as the administrator, but I got no where. The next thing to try is uninstalling and re-installing all over again.

Wish me luck

Bitching about work

2007-06-23T16:26:00.000-06:00

Hey friends...

I have a minute to breath... barely

This is a rant... feel free to ignore it. I just need to vent.

My experience with the Iowa group has been fairly limited. We try to support their software configuration management needs, but I was happy with just letting them stay status quo until we move them over to the tools we use in Denver. That's not happening soon enough. Their SCM server is crapping out on them. Locking developers out every day, sometimes multiple times a day. It is a Linux box.

A few weeks ago we decided we needed to change out that server. They wanted to move from a Linux box to Windows. Sounded easy enough, but me and my crew are not too familiar with the tools they use. We got it all set up except for one add-on that send e-mail out every time a file is checked in. I told them they may need to go without that tool. They said "NO WAY!", they had to have it. About a week or so ago I asked why getting spammed from the source control tool was so important... that was a big mistake.

Well they use this tool in a VERY unorthodox way, and also do software releases in a very odd way, I came to find out. Apparently, when a customer finds a bug in the software and declares it an emergency, the group in Iowa fix the code and check it in. This generates these e-mails that identify only the lines in the code that are changed. The Iowa group then forwards that e-mail to the client. When I was investigating this I though "Why the hell would they care what lines of code were changed?". I came to find out that the customer has our source code on-site (This is bad, VERY BAD!), and when an emergency bug needs to be fixed they take this e-mail and make the changes on-site instead of just getting a new release from us. They then rebuild and redeploy locally. I think the words that came out of my mouth were, "You got to be fucking kidding me". Not only that, but the client has the "option" of making changes we don't know about, or not implementing all of the fixes we send them.

Let me explain something here. My title is Manager of Software Configuration Management. It is my responsibility to be able to control and recreate any software that has either been deployed internally or to the customer (ESPECIALLY to the customer). I had no idea this was going on. The project manager that told me this said she knew that this was a bad way of doing it, but this was needed due to customer expectations. I told her this was going to have to change.

I could not keep this to myself. I wrote this up in an e-mail to my boss, he is the head of Systems Engineering, and to the head of Product Engineering, and the VP of Software Engineering for our division. What suprised me is the speed in which I got a reply. The first came from the VP. She was in shock. So much so that she followed that up with another "less volatile" response. Unfortunately she told me that I had to get that fixed.

This is an issue way beyond my group, which is way I threw it up the ladder. I don't interact with the customer, and if I was to tell the customer that this practice is no longer going to work I know I would have my head on the chopping block. I let everyone know that the customer relationship needed to be worked to get them to understand the change to the process, and it should be done by someone that already has an on-going relationship with them.

I think the VP agreed, but she never told me. I was trying to understand how to unravel this mess when my boss came by. He was laughing and shaking his head. I told him I don't want to look under any more rocks in Iowa, "can we just nuke 'em from orbit, it's the only way to be sure". That was a movie quote (I know... such a guy thing). Can anyone guess the movie?

Well the responsibility is no longer on me to fix this. It has been handled at the VP level. More than one VP had to be involved because a different VP handles the customer facing stuff (I was right... YEAH!).

Sorry for all the process talk. I know it's not exciting.

So now we're moving them over next weekend to the Windows box without the e-mail add-on. Another weekend ruined with work. There are going to be a number of ruined weekends coming up shortly. This was just one of the things stressing me out.

I haven't even been playing much as far as computer games go. My BF2 installation needs to be redone. So I've been playing a little World of Warcraft. Sometimes with Chrissie. I like how her character dances for mine.

Little League is over, but Kevin is also on the freshmen team at the high school. That goes for a couple more weeks. I've been spending a lot of time at the ball parks.

Too Damn Busy

2007-06-19T07:36:00.000-06:00

I know I'm not around much. My work is kicking my ass. Many deadlines that may not be possible. I have lots to blog about, just no time to do it.

I hope everyone is doing well.

Movie Junkie

2007-06-13T22:58:00.000-06:00

Stole this from TG

Check which movies you've seen, and keep count along the way.

Out of 239 movies: HOW MANY HAVE YOU SEEN??

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane

Total: 9

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) AnchorMan
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

Total so far: 15

( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
(x) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total so far: 19

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch

Total so far: 26

(x) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
(x) Robots

Total so far: 33

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
(x) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
(x) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG - only the original

Total so far: 45

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
(x) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total so far: 51

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards

Total so far: 56

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total so far: 62

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
(x) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
(x) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George

Total so far: 75

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo
(x) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total so far: 85

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3

Total so far: 97

(x) X-Men
(x) X-2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2

Total so far: 108

( ) Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
(x) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-year-old Virgin (funniest movie ever made)

Total so far: 114

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

Total so far: 120

() Baseketball
() Hostel
(x) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) Devils Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander
(x) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three

Total so Far: 124

( ) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead
(x) Willard

Total so far: 130

( ) High Tension
(x) Club Dread
(x) Hulk
(x) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
(x) 28 days later
(x) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
(x) Waterworld

Total so far: 138

(x) Kill Bill vol 1 (unfortunately)
(x) Kill Bill vol 2 (unfortunately)
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness

Total so far: 140

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor

Total so far: 146

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
(x) Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

154 out of 239 movies seen!

Actually this has an aweful lot of lame movies.

What I did last night...

2007-06-11T21:16:00.000-06:00

The concert was... AWESOME!

I saw them back in 1981 in Denver (my first concert ever), then again in 1983 in Phoenix (my first mega huge outdoor concert). This time blew those others away.

Interviewing and talking

2007-06-06T19:42:00.000-06:00

No, things are not so bad at work that I am leaving. I have interviewed a couple of people this past week for my job opening.

I determined that both guys could do the job just from reading their resumes. Sure, people sometimes lie in their resume, so it's up to me to make a decision through talking to them.

I don't really like interviewing people. It's part of my social anxiety. I tend to talk to much because I am nervous. Mike, one of my guys that does interviews with me, said he is going to kick me the next time I start providing way too much detail. It was good to hear that. It keeps me aware of my rambling on.

The first interview was last Friday. The guy had been awake for over 24 hours due to a major software release from his current job. He seemed a bit wired. I wasn't going to hold it against him. He knows what he is doing, but he doesn't know the main tool that we use. There would be a substancial learning curve, but as he stated, he has always wanted to learn this tool. His expertice in other areas kept him in the running.

The next guy I was a bit skeptical about. I feel bad about this, but I am a bit apprehensive about hiring someone from India. I have met some great engineers from india, but I have also known a lot of mediocre and bad engineers. Some of the problems stem from the communication gap. Some people from india speak so fast that it is hard to understand them through their heavy accent. Other parts of my feelings come from the fact that a lot of people from India are very meek. I can't afford to have someone that doesn't step up and question why we do things a certain way.

This guy came in, dressed in a very nice suit. I was in my jeans and a Polo shirt. We're casual in the office. I had forgotten about the interview. Usually I'll wear a pair of Dockers. He was very articulate and extremely well versed in the tools. He had to do some extreme customization to integrate a couple tools together. He apparently did this all on his own. He was not afraid to speak up, and even interrupted me when he knew that I was going to ask a particular question.

Mike was with me for both interviews. Both of us had some hesitation about hiring the first guy. We both agreed he could do the job, but we thought his focus in a particular area caused him not to fit as well as we'd like. After we finished with the second guy I went over to Mike's desk to get a quick first impression from him. His exact words were, "HIRE HIM!!". I felt the same way. We made him an offer today. The recruiter and I are 99% sure he'll accept.

I had originally put in a bunch of stuff here about the discussion that MS and I had for the last few days. Suffice it to say that she needs to get her son back on ADD meds, and probably a sleeping pill (I guess he only gets a couple hours of sleep per night). There was also a lot of concern over our relationship. She is being VERY needy,a nd it concerns her that I am not.

Lots to think about.

Long Busy Weekend

2007-05-28T15:39:00.000-06:00

It's not been too restful until today.

Saturday my girlfriend's daughter graduated from high school. Afterwards there was a party... at my girlfriend's ex-in-law's. Why did I say I would go?

Actually her ex has been nice to me the few times I have seen him. I don't know what he really thinks of me... but from reports I hear he is jealous. Why, I'm not sure. He was the one that left for another woman.

Anyway, I've met his parents on a couple occasions... both revolving around MS's daughter. I have been nice and got into conversations even though I was uncomfortable.

I went to the graduation without my kids. I felt it would just be boring for them. I picked them up afterward and took them to the party. The uncomfortableness continues.

When we arrived I did not see MS's car. I figured maybe she had to run to the store for something. We went in and I got to meet MS's cousin (I'll just refer to her as "the cousin") that lives nearby. She is very nice... and since she is on MS's side of the family I felt a bit more at ease.

They informed me that MS had to take her daughter to an after hours clinic because of a rash and hives that have been bugging her for a few days. That meant that I was going to be in unfriendly territory without backup for a lot longer than I thought. It would have been nice to have at least received a call warning me.

The remaining kids (there were 5 including mine) decided to watch a movie in the next room. I kind of wanted to join them, but figured I should stay in the room with the adults so i wouldn't be labeled anti-social.

We talked a lot about nothing... mostly talked about the housing market. The cousin is a broker. After a while the cousin had to take her kids and head home. She has a night job that she needed to get to. Great, abandon me.

When she did leave I found an opportunity to join the kids watching the movie, and I took it. I then had to deal with MS's son being the inconsiderate person that he is. Seeing as I was already uncomfortable at this house I didn't say anything. His father finally jumped in when he noticed the behaviour. Their son is ADHD, and I guess this attitude is related.

MS and daughter finally arrived. We had cake and got out of there not too long afterwards. I'm not sure if MS even knew how annoyed I was. I tend to hide it well.

Me and the boys joined my buddy Mike and his family up in the mountains. They went up Friday, but we joined them Sunday for a day of ATV and motorcycle riding. The weather cooperated. We all had a great time. I did not invite MS to join us. I think she would have, but I just couldn't take another day of bickering kids. Obviously MS and I need to have a talk about all of this. It's just hard to know when to do it. Sooner is better, but this week is going to be difficult.

Kevin has joined another baseball team. This one is loosely linked to the high school he'll be starting at this fall. Today was their first game. MS called to ask if they could come. After a slight hesitation on my part I said "sure".

As with every time our kids are together there was a conflict between Erik and her son. He had taken the baseball that Erik had and wouldn't give it back. It wasn't that Erik needed to have the ball. It was that he does shit like this just to get on people's nerves. Guess what... he was on mine. I asked him why he needed to do that. I got some sarcastic remark back. Then MS got annoyed at me for getting on his case.

Being single with kids is very difficult. Most of the women I have dated have had kids. Sometimes it's the kids that cause things to not work out. I see that happening again. She knows that her son annoys me, but I need to let her know how bad I see it getting. It's not fair to my kids to have to deal with this. My kids are not perfect angels, but they are respectful and pleasant to be around... most of the time.

Mistaken Identity

2007-05-26T13:02:00.000-06:00

How would you feel if you received an e-mail that contained pictures?

How about if those pictures were meant for family and friends of the birth of their baby? ...and those pictures did not crop out her private bits?

...and then you realized it was a case of "calling the wrong number". I must have an e-mail address very close to someone elses.

I let her know that I think the pictures were meant to be sent to someone else.

I think I just heard a scream from somewhere off in the distance.

The good news is the baby looked fine

Let the games begin!

2007-05-22T07:09:00.000-06:00

It's happened. I have been coerced by my friends to start playing World of Warcraft. I played with one of my regular gaming buddies for about a week. I had been avoiding playing with Chrissie because I didn't want to be stumbling around, showing my ignorance. Then to be playing with her I needed to create a new character. Apparently I was on the wrong side. Chrissie and I had some fun a few nights ago. I am still getting used to it, especially using text chat instead of TeamSpeak (time to step up to the latest technology, Chrissie). I am not as good at multitasking as she is. I'm working on it. I particularly liked how she had her character dance for me. Yeah, baby!

So this is my character, Sardak. He's not much to look at, but he's good with a bow and arrow.

What I've been up to...

2007-05-13T12:45:00.000-06:00

First of all...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
I have been dealing with baseball, baseball, and more baseball.

Then there is the endless work stress, but I'll bitch about that some other time.

The season has started and is looking like it's going to be an exciting one.

Kevin is mainly playing 3rd base, but has been put in as catcher on occasion. He loves playing catcher, but he has a great arm and great reflexes, so 3rd base is a good choice for him too. I wish I would have remembered to take my camera to one of the games a few weeks ago. They lost, but Kevin caught a screamer at 3rd that would have resulted in a double or triple. He stretched out and caught it perfectly.

He had a game earlier this week where for 2 innings straight every time the opposing team got a hit it went straight to Kevin. I had to leave before the end of the game because I had to get Erik to his. These guys are running me ragged (that's a mom saying).

Erik is playing 1st base almost exclusively. He seems to have a better glove and understands what it takes to be a good first baseman. The level he is at in Little League still has a lot of kids who have hardly or never played before. I was afraid his coach was going to be a problem due to not showing up for opening ceremonies and not scheduling a practice for weeks after other teams started practicing. I guess it just had to do with not being able to get time off from work. Now things are going well.

His season so far has been flawless except for on dropped throw to him a few games ago. He isn't hitting as well as he should. I don't know if it is just him changing things or his coach, but he has a very odd stance and bat position. We're working on it.

Kevin's progress report came the other day. As and Bs. I am very proud of him. I wish I got those kinds of grades when I was his age.

48 questions ... yes, another meme

2007-05-11T21:08:00.000-06:00

Chrissie is such a snot. She sends this stuff in an e-mail instead of posting so then I have to get blamed for making it continue. She should be spanked!

1. WHO WERE YOU NAMED AFTER? First name... no one. Middle name Alan Shepard, but my mom spelled it wrong.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Late February I think

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? As long as printing counts as handwriting, yes

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Pastrami (I think Chrissie and I are such a perfect match)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Yes... and I will not be having anymore... but I still like to practice often.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF? Yes, because I get along with everyone (well, almost everyone)

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yes, definitely

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yup, and Chrissie should inspect them :P

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Probably not, but I would skydive

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Peanut Butter Crunch

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Dress shoes, yes. Sneakers, only when they're brand new

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Only if I don't shower

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their mouth

15. RED OR PINK? Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? My weight

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Paula

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? If they want

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black jeans and brown Merrells

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? The bland combination of chicken, ribs and shrimp at the Elephant Bar. It was supposed to be spicy. Blah

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Jellyfish - That Is Why

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? I don't remember what it is called, but it was the hand lotion an ex-girlfriend uses. I think it's from Victoria's Secret

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Ann

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? A lot!!!

27. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? At the stadium = Baseball or Football. On TV = Hockey.

28. HAIR COLOR? Brown (with a little bit of grey)

29. EYE COLOR? Green

30. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, but I wear glasses when driving at night

31. FAVORITE FOOD? The perfect steak

32. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Thriller scary not blood n guts scary, and funny happy not sappy happy. Chrissie... wanna go to a movie?

33. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Shawn of the Dead (ironic considering my last answer)

34. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING??? Brown patterned polo

35. SUMMER OR Winter? Summer I guess, but Fall is my favorite.

36. HUGS OR KISSES? Both

37. FAVORITE DESSERT? Cheesecake

38. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? All my friends that have nothing better to do

39. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? BWH

40. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Implementing IBM Rational ClearQuest: An End-to-End Deployment Guide

41. ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? My G5 Laser Gaming Mouse... and dust

42. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? The Daily Show

43. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOUND? Kids laughing

44. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? The Beatles by far

45. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Thule, Greenland

46. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Yes, so I'm told by some... and I can also play the trombone :D

47. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Madison Heights, MI

48. WHO'S ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK. See 38

Blogger Party Meme

2007-05-03T22:27:00.000-06:00

OK, so Roxi says I'm supposed to pick 6 people from blogger I would want to party with. It'll be hard to keep it to 6, except for the fact that I need to get to bed. If you are so inclinded TAG, you're it!

#1 - Chrissie... She is fun, geeky, and loves to have a good time. On top of that she is really HOT. I think it's totally unfair that California gets an over abundance of hot women.

#2 - Grace... If I had to pick one reason it would be sothat I could sit her down to relax for a bit and tell what the hell is going on with her life these days.

#3 - Croaker... I've never seen one guy in the same bed with so many women. It's unfortunate everyone's clothes were on.

#4 - Terry... is awesome, and knows all the best bars. Also, I want to see her hula. How many drinks would it take?

#5 - Os... I think if he shows up to a party women want to tear off his shirt. Plus he's a trombone player, and we bone-ists have to stick together.

#6 - Stacy... She and I have come close to meeting in the past. One day it will happen. Maybe I can prove to her that I am not a perv 24/7. Ya, I know, I doubt it too.

#7 - Jodes... One cool chick. She is so fun and energetic... well, that's the impression I get.

#8 - Dzer... He is one of those fun guys that should liven things up... not that a party with all these women wouldn't be lively.

#9 - Jillie... Hard to nail down one thing that makes her so great, there are so many things. I know I would love to party with her.

#10 - Roxi... Well, of course Roxi would be invited. It's not a party without her. She is by far one of the most fun people I've ever met. Her energy and smile brighten the room. If I'm lucky she'll even share the jello shots. My phone misses her phone.

I just couldn't keep it to 6... bite me. I guess I could have left the guys out. What amazes me is I've met quite a few of you. I feel so lucky about that. For those that didn't make the list... you're actually on there. I just got tired.

Where do I start?

2007-05-02T21:21:00.000-06:00

Work has been unbelievably stressful recently. Now that I am now managing SCM in Des moines as well (please don't ask me to explain SCM again) the server that houses the projects there desides to start acting flakey. What does this mean? Now I have to get someone hired for the Des Moines office IMMEDIATELY! But until that happens we've been asked to meove their systems off of the flakey Linux box and put it on a Windows server that we just happened to have lying around.

Big issue... transfering this stuff from one server to another is relatively easy. Moving it from linux to Windows is not. We're not even sure some of the tools will work properly on Windows.

We had hoped to have the new hardware set up over the weekend and ready to move data over early this week. Well that didn't happen. Like I said, moving from Linux to Windows is not that easy. Not only that, but they are using different tools than we are so we have to learn their tools while trying to get them to work. Needless to say, the pressure is on.

I had a job posting to hire someone for the Des Moine job, and guess what?... Not a single person applied. We've now made the position for either Des Moines or Denver and we'll manage things remotely if need be. One of my guys knows the perfect person for the job. I have his resume through unofficial channels, but I cannot interview him until our HR recruiter gets off her pretty little ass (yes, it is quite pretty) and does some sort of bullshit screening interview.

Our system in Denver has developed a problem since we upgraded to a new version of our tool. We have been working with IBM's tech support to find a fix to the problem. Today we contacted IBM for additional support and they said that our maintenance aggreement has lapsed. I have been waiting for a new purchase of licenses to get approved for these tools, and wrapped up in this purchase is the renewal of the maintenance. WE ARE SO FUCKED!

First Vinyl

2007-04-29T10:02:00.000-06:00

I have a few minutes to breath before the next baseball event, and before going back to work tomorrow. I need to do some venting about work, but not today (I know it completely bores you guys).

BWH has come up with another great meme. Well, I think its a great one.

This time the meme is called First Vinyl.

Just post the album cover and a description of the first time you spent money on a good old fashioned Record.

You can tell us how old you were if you want to. Just make it worth reading. And give him a link or a trackback.

It was 1979. I was 13 the summer before 9th grade. Tim, my best friend at the time had me over for the night. We pitched a tent in his back yard. His house backed up to a drainage ditch, so we explored the various gardens of the people that lived along the drainage ditch. When we got back to his house somewhere around 2 a.m. we had the radio on and I heard Joe Jackson's "Is She Really Going Out With Him?".

I think this was one of those times where I just knew that this was music I was going to love. I had to buy the album.

I was usually pretty good about saving my allowance. The next morning Tim and I road our bikes down to the strip mall not too far from his place and I picked up a copy. I was not disappointed. I think this was also one of the catalysts for my move to listening to a lot of New Wave in the 80s. His style was different, unpolished. I was hooked.

I think joe Jackson was my first departure from listening to the things my brothers and sisters were listening to. My brother Mike also became a big fan of Joe Jackson, but this time I was influencing him. I later found out that my sister Paula was also a fan. We can't all be wrong.

No time to blog

2007-04-25T15:49:00.000-06:00

I am totally swamped. Sorry for not posting, but the real world (not that you guys aren't real) requires my attention.

Maybe I'll find some time later tonight to scan all my favorite blogs.

What's with this weather?

2007-04-14T00:02:00.000-06:00

I worked from home today because of all the blizzard warnings that started on Thursday. It started snowing Thursday afternoon and we were supposed to get 6 inches Thursday night, and another 6+ on Friday.

We got the first 6 and I stayed home in anticipation of more coming, but it never came. The kids schools closed for the day, and the roads were mostly clear. I think Chicken Little is working at the Weather Channel.

My niece, Katie, just turned 20 last week. So to commemorate her first 20 years she posted 200 pictures of friends and family for all to see. She warned us that most of them were embarrassing. I figured I was safe. I didn't think she was around for most of my goofy pictures. Well I was wrong.. She scanned in pictures that my sister had taken years before. Some of them were just hilarious. I was in tears.

Like this one at my high school graduation

But she did get one herself that is pretty funny

Then there was just this past Christmas. How do I always forget this stuff?

Some of the pictures were really good. I cropped this one just to show me. This was in July of 2000. Me in a suit... a rare sight. That's my ex that I cut in half. No not literally.

Then there was my kids. I have to show you them. They're about 7 years older now.

I love going through old pictures once in a while.

THPPFT!

2007-04-11T18:38:00.000-06:00

I am feeling kind of blah about things lately. Could it have to do with me coming down with a cold? I have semi-worked from home Monday and Tuesday. It was rough trying to concentrate with a head full of snot and cold medicine.

I am going to try to get tickets to The Police concert for when they are in Denver this June. I am a huge fan. I have just been to BLAH to get off my ass and get tickets.

Stress from work is no better, and is probably worse than ever. My new boss is grateful for all of the things that I do, but holy shit this needs to stop.

I am trying to hire someone for our Des Moines office. I don't have much hope in finding a perfect fit for a technical job in Iowa. I know it's bad to say, but there just isn't that big of a bowl to fish from. Any SCM engineers out there want to move to Iowa? I didn't think so.

The official opening day of Little League Baseball here in Colorado Springs is this Saturday. My kids are psyched. Kevin (14yo) has a scrimmage game that day after a hitting competition. We'll see how that goes. I am still not sure what is going on with Erik's (9yo) team. I think they've had 2 practices now, it might just be 1. Not that I want to coach, but if you're going to volunteer to coach these kids, then schedule some practices.

PLAY BALL!!

Stolen Meme

2007-04-09T22:22:00.000-06:00

Lady R kept this going, so who am I to stop it...

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:15 am for a 7:30 a.m. and then 8 a.m. conference call, then I went back to bed until 10:45... I am sick.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Both. I have given both, and I think they are both beautiful.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? The Shooter. I enjoyed it a lot. Marky did a good job not sounded like a hood.
4. What is your favourite TV show? I think it would have to be Heroes. I am enjoying it more than 24 this year
5. What did you have for breakfast? A breakfast bar and 1000mg of vitamin C
6. What is your middle name? It starts with A. You can try to guess the rest
7. What is your favourite food? New York Strip Steak medium
8. What foods do you dislike? Bell Peppers
9. Favourite chip? Tortilla with a hot salsa
10. What is your favourite CD at the moment? Plain White T's - All That We Needed
11. What kind of car do you drive? Pontiac Vibe GT or fullsize Chevy 4x4 Pickup
12. What is your favourite sandwich? Pastrami on Rye
13. What characteristic do you despise? Cheaters
14. What are your favourite clothes? The ones that don't cost too much
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation? Austalia
16. Where would you want to retire? In a city with an airport to take me where ever I want to go
17. Favourite time of day? Quitting time
18. Where were you born? Detroit, Michigan
19. Who do you think will not respond to this? It doesn't matter
20. Person you expect to respond this? It doesn't matter
21. Beavers or ducks? Beavers, of course
22. Are you a morning person or a night owl? A Morning Owl
23. Pedicure or manicure? I just want my feet rubbed
24. Share? If I must
25. What did you want to be when you were little? A verteranarian
26. What is your best childhood memory? Playing baseball with my friends
27. Piercings? That would be silly
28. Ever been to Africa or Alaska? I've been to Alaska a couple times.
29. Ever been toilet papering? Many times
30. Been in a car accident? Yes, 4. One of which was my fault
31. Favourite day of the week? Saturday
32. Favourite restaurant? Phantom Canyon Brewing Company (it's a brew pub)
33. Favourite ice cream? B&J either Cherry Garcia or Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
34. Favourite fast food restaurant? Tokyo Joe's (Japanese, but it's fresh and fast... yum)
35. Last email? Sending metrics forms for work... BLAH
36. What was the last movie that you rented? I usually buy, not rent, but I did rent Employee of the Month and Beer League recently. Definitely both rentals
37. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Amazon.com
38. Bedtime? Somewhere between 11:30 p.m. and 1 a.m.
39. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? It doesn't matter
40. Last person you went to dinner with? My kids
41. What are you listening to right now? Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah
42. What is your favourite color? Purple
43. How many tattoos do you have? 0
44. Favourite magazine? Maxim or Wired... yes, they both rank higher than Playboy
45. What book are you reading? Crystal Reports for Dumbies
46. Weirdest thing in your purse or wallet at the moment? Hunting license I haven't needed for 5 years
47. If you had one wish, what would it be? Win a 100 Million or more Powerball Jackpot. A couple of you would get presents :P

Some time to post... and lots of pics

2007-04-07T17:06:00.000-06:00

I finally have some time to right something. YEAH!

I had another urge to buy me some techie shit since I got a huge tax return. So I went WAY out of control and bought two 22 inch LCD monitors. One would have been enough, but I got a great deal and was out of control.

The boys were on Spring Break for 2 weeks. I had them for a week of it, plus a couple days to go skiing. We get a hotel room up in Keystone, CO on the night of March 26th. We skied at Keystone on that Monday, then went to Copper Mountain about 20 minutes away the second day. Here are some pictures:

Keystone

This is a shot from a bridge that that connects the slopes to the village at the bottom

I was amazed that weren't trying to be goofy. A great Kodak moment before we started up the first lift.

On the gondola heading to the top. Do you love the hat hair?

Kevin's getting good on the board... He scares me sometimes

Erik is still improving, but he has a great time.

My Mental Disorder

2007-04-03T19:12:00.001-06:00

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) You can never seem to calm down and always feel anxious for unknown reasons. You tend to not be able to concentrate and have headaches or other anxiety symptoms.
Manic Depressive
Paranoia
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

That's kind of scary considering that is what a doctor told me about 8 years ago.

Another symptom that they didn't have on the test was that I don't think anyone wants to hear from me.

Have I mentioned recently that I am stressed? Guess what... no change there!

2007-03-18T15:23:00.000-06:00

A friend sent me this video and I laughed my ass off. I did a search and found it on YouTube for all of you to enjoy.

Back in Colorado

2007-03-15T23:06:00.000-06:00

My trip to San Francisco was a big success... well, at least I think so.

My trip started off bad. I had a VERY early (6:15 a.m.) non-stop flight out of Colorado Springs. I set my alarm for an even more ridiculous time, but forgot to turn the damn alarm on. I woke up at 5:20 in a panic. I skipped the shower since I had showered the evening before. Threw the remaining items I needed into my bags and headed downstairs. Then I hesitated. I started thinking I shouldn't be freaking out, and that there is no way for me to get to the airport, bags checked, and through security in time to make the flight.

I got online to see about switching to the next flight out, which of course has a stop in Denver. Then I looked at the clock one more time and figured FUCK IT, I'M GONNA TRY TO MAKE IT.

I through my bags in the cars and tore out of the neighborhood. I parked the car in long-term parking and there was no shuttle, or it wasn't in the area of my parking space anyway. So I walked at a very quick pace to get to the terminal. I approached the United counter and informed them that I am trying to make my flight. She checked her terminal and informed me they had JUST called final boarding. I would have made it if I hadn't stopped and checked other flights.

I asked them if they could get me on the next flight possible. There was a 7:00 a.m. flight to Denver, but I had to be in first class. Little did I know, but the put me in first class for the Denver flight and the San Francisco flight (WOOHOO BABY).

It was unfortunate that I was losing out on about 4 hours of time at the client office in SF, but I tried not to stress about it. Next time I'm offered a relatively cheap upgrade to first class I am going for it.

Work was interesting because it was very unstructured. I didn't have a detailed agenda of what I needed to do, but I had a short list and accomplished those things and more.

My first day I was in SF talking to some of our guys at our biggest clients office. The client has us doing custom software changes right in their office. I guess they felt they needed to micro-manage. This is also the office that I am STILL trying to hire someone for. I have no idea what the status of that is (SHIT!).

This was the cheapest real hotel (real meaning not a flee bag) in the area. I thought it was strange that my company recommended it, but I think that recommendation came because it was the closest hotel to the client office that I had to visit. The A/C was incredibly loud (yes, I needed the A/C on at night). I woke up every 20 or so minutes when the A/C would turn on, then again when it would turn off. That was frustrating. The the power outlets were only 2 prong. I needed 3 prong for my laptop.

I spent the next 2 nights in Oakland at the Marriott in City Center. Very nice!! Then again I might have been swayed by the fact that the A/C was quiet, but that bed felt incredible. The fact that the girl manning the front desk that reminded me what room I was in was cute and kind of flirty might have influenced my grade too.

Working in the Oakland office is quite a bit different than the Denver office. There's hardly anyone there. Half the people that work their are the President, and a couple VPs in the company, and a few software developers. It was a little un-nerving to have all the big wigs coming by my cube to say hi, and see how I'm doing. The fact that they knew who I was is kind of freaky to me. I am used to being very low on the totem pole.

While I was at work Tuesday I got a call from Chrissie. I hadn't heard from her since I initially told her I was coming out there, so I assumed she was going to blow me off (get your minds out of the gutter people, I meant she wasn't going to meet me). Well, we made quick plans to get together that evening. She suggested we meet half way. She lives in a small town a few hours from SF, so it made sense. Half way ended up being a pretty small town as well, but they had a Chili's.

Getting there took me some time because I was driving through city traffic while she wasn't, but I finally arrived. She showed up a little bit later, she decided to visit some old friends of hers since I was running late.

Meeting Chrissie was a real treat for me. We've been friends for about 2 years, so finally talking to her face to face just felt great. She didn't quite look the same as her now non-existent HNT photo's but she is stunning. Now I know she is real flesh and blood. Unfortunately, I forgot to take my new camera with me (IDIOT).

I was probably obnoxiously loud when laughing during our conversation. I can't hear myself, especially when I'm drinking. She always has me rolling. I am sure I had my stupid grin going full blast. I didn't want the night to end, but we both had some driving to do, and I had to be up at a ridiculous hour for a teleconference. Fucking work. I need to win the PowerBall.

The next day was filled with meetings that we kind of pointless. I had testing to do on my groups new system. I don't have time to hear people whine about how they have to do system backups. Just figure it out. I was pretty fried by this point.

Terry and I were going to meet in San Francisco in the Mission District. One of her favorite bars is there. She had e-mailed me very detailed instructions. I had to take the BART into SF, which was a new experience for me. I asked the front desk clerk at the hotel where the nearest BART station was, and she pointed to it right outside the from of the hotel. She asked me where I was going. I told her 16th and Mission. She got a worried look on here face and told me to always be aware of my surroundings. My immediate thought was "Where the fuck is Terry dragging me?"

There was one little mistake in Terry's directions that got me headed the wrong direction. I realized the problem when none of the landmarks she had told me about were anywhere to be found. Lots of drug addicts and hookers though. I got Terry on the phone and worked my way back to the Bart station to start over. I really got turned around at another point all by myself. So even if you give a guy instructions (although we NEVER need them) we'll still screw it up.

After a nice brisk walk I finally caught up to Terry at her bar. We had some really funny conversations about each other's friends, jobs, my girlfriend, and had some VERY tasty Sidecar's. Apparently most of her blog readers thought I was some sort of perv way back when. I'm glad she realized I was harmless early on (I never said I wasn't a perv). After the second round (or was it the third) we figured we should get some food, so we hit an Indian restaurant across the street. Another favorite of hers. The food was great. I've had some Indian food that I didn't like in the past, but this stuff was excellent. Good call Terry!

We ended the night with another drink at a bar around the corner. We had to kind of scream at each other to hear, but it was still great fun to see her.

I slept in a little this morning. My flight was at 1, so I figured I'd take it easy for the morning. I got out of the hotel around 10 and headed for the San Francisco airport. I gave myself extra time because I didn't want to miss another flight. I found the rental car return with no trouble. I love that you take a tram from the terminal to the rental car facility.

I was in the terminal with lots of time to spare. I put my credit card into the check-in kiosk, and it said it couldn't find me, so it told me to try my confirmation number. I enter it and was told to contact an airline representative (HOLY HELL!). I flagged a woman down and gave her my ID. She tried to looked me up in the system, but couldn't find me. She asked if I had a boarding pass from the flight out to SF. Luckily I kept them and handed her one. She asked if I had a change to my itinerary. I told her about missing my flight out, and that they put me on the next flight out. She said it looks like when they scheduled me for the new flight the cleared out my return reservation. Breathing... staying calm. I asked if there was still room on the flight. She was apparently already working on this and kind of indicated to me to be quiet.

I got one of the 2 remaining seats. No first class bump this time... bummer.

Time to crash

What is a home...

2007-03-11T13:49:00.000-06:00

... other than a house with your shit in it?

One of my blogger buddies has been going through a divorce and she is dealing with the feeling of her ex that has kept the house they were in together.

I back her 100%, but I can also relate very well to both side of her dilema. She has moved on, he has not. He is still reminded of her everyday because he sees the things they did together with their house. Most of these feelings are gone from me, but once in a while they still come out.

I kept the house when I split with the ex. I had no choice really. I had just gotten word that I would be laid off. This was Oct 2001, and the job market was shit after 9-11. I knew that the house was a huge asset for me. We bought it below market prices and it was at the time worth 80% more than what we paid 7 years before. Unfortunately this meant I had to pay her half of that equity.

I was out of work for about 3 or 4 months, living on my severance pay. I took the first job I could get. It was a 35% pay cut. I was barely squeeking by and had to refinance the house. I debated about selling. I had good friends in the neighborhood. I was depressed. I decided to keep the house.

After a few job changes in the past 6 years I am back to what I was making in 2001. After just getting laid off from Agilent last June and getting a new job a month later I paid off all my debts except for the car and house. I have quite a bit in savings.

I live a pretty comfortable life, but I continue to wonder if I should get a smaller house. I certainly don't need all this space. It's nice that I can have a party once in a while, but my parties are usually very small. I have 5 bedrooms, a living room, dining room that I use maybe twice a year for an actual meal, a rec room that I have turned into a computer shop, and 4 bathrooms to clean.

My kids are with me every other week so I need to have rooms for them. I have 2 bedrooms that I do not use except for storage. I have been thinking of selling again. Right now it's a buyer's market. Lot's of houses for sale, and they aren't moving very quickly. I am sure that will change when more military troops get stationed at Fort Carson. The military here in Colorado Springs drives the economy. Unfortunately it also drives the political pulse of the area.

I don't take care of the house all that well. Sometimes I feel bitter about being left with the house in the divorce. I tend to ignore problems until I either get motivated, or the problem gets a lot worse. Maybe I'm just lazy.

I am certainly not going to be moving out of the area. I do work in Denver, but I can't (and won't) take my kids from their mother. I see myself eventually moving to Denver once the boys are out of the house, but should I move into smaller accomodations until then?

I don't really want to keep the house and rent it out, although I could. I just don't think I want to deal with that burden. So IF I get a new house I will more than likely sell this one.

Is anyone out their more of a financial expert. Is now a good time to make this kind of move, or should I wait?

The debate in my head continues.

I must remember I am going for work...

2007-03-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

My San Francisco trip is already upon me. It's nice to be able to plan a trip at the last minute and not worry about the cost. I head for the city by the bay on Monday morning, bright and early. I'll be there until Thursday.

I have a list of things to accomplish while I am there, but what has me really pumped about going is getting a chance to hang out with Chrissie and Terry. I hope it all works out so that I get to see both of you.

Of course I am supposed to work while I am there. What can I say about work. Maybe something like "Holy shit this place is stressing me out!!!"

The VP of our area was very pleased with a presentation about the new tools and processes that I am putting in place. I was worried because the word around the office was that she was pissed that it wasn't already up and running. I think she is just frustrated because they have spent a lot of money so far, and I have spent a lot of hours customizing the tools. The good thing is that she knows it can't be put into production without licenses for the software. I was told they would be here in January once the budget was approved along with a slew of hardware that I need for the project. Well this deployment is getting a lot of attention. This is costing the company millions of dollars, so it had to go all the way to the top for approval.

GULP!

When I started here I understood that they needed this done, but this was before I knew about the merger with the BIG COMPANY. Now, not only am I responsible for the Denver office with plans to expand to Oakland. Now I have to get Des Moines and Cedar Rapids done, and by the way "WHAT'S TAKING SO FUCKING LONG?!"

I have never felt so much pressure. The only saving grace is that I hired 2 awesome guys, Mike and Jason to work with me. If it wasn't for them I would be totally blowing a gasket. We've all bonded well. Jason is a major perv, just like me. We try to break up the stress by noticing what the hot women are wearing at work that day. We have nicknames for all of them. There is The Librarian, who has that sexy "during my off hours I am a dominatrix" look. There is Red, who seems kind of ordinary, but you know she is sporting a killer bod under all the loose clothing. There is Sin, that towers over me at approximately 6' 2". Her "large tracks of land" make J drool. Then there is CT, which is short for something I'd rather not say ;)

I know, we're pigs. I think the fact that we're way over stressed makes us do these things. Well, that's the story I'm going with.

Sucked into another meme

2007-03-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

What curse words do you use most? Damn, shit, fuck (that may be my heaviest use lately). Then all kind of variants like fucktard, fucknut, fuckzilla

Do you own an iPod? No, I own a 40GB Creative Zen Xtra MP3 player. I will NEVER own an iPud

What time is your alarm clock set to? 5:45 am (looks like Jodes and I are actually waking up together)

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture? Take, but it would be nice to be in one once in a while. I have so few pictures of me.

What was the last movie you watched? Theater: Bridge to Tarabithia ... DVD: Rush Hour

What CD is currently in your player? An MP3 CD with a mix of a ton of music. But I still listen to Howard Stern a lot while I drive to work on Sirius.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk? Chocolate, of course

Has anyone told you a secret this week? Yes, one of my friends told me how he and a woman he used to work with would use someone elses office and watch porn DVDs on her laptop over lunch. He said they never did anything physically sexual together.

When was the last time you had Starbucks? This morning. I have a conference call every Mon, Wed, and Fri morning at 7 a.m. Today I stopped for a Chai while I had the meeting muted.

Can you whistle? Yes, but not impressively

Did you watch cartoons when you were little? Constantly. That and 3 Stooges, and Abbott and Costello movies

Do you own any band t-shirts? Yes, Train. I used to have a bunch of others. The Police, Genesis, The Romantics, Paul McCartney, and t-shirts I helped design for a friend's band.

What will you be doing in an hour? Probably watching South Park

What was the last song you heard? The song is called "Highness", from a band called Envy and Other Sins

Last time you cried? Big cry or little cry? I shed a tear during The Bridge to Tarabithia.

Desktop or laptop? Both. I am a geek you know! I have my desktop which is where I do most of my blogging and gaming. I have a laptop for work, and a laptop that is mine that I hardly use (it's quite old in computer years). Then I have a server, and my sons share a computer. I won't count the numerous computers in pieces in my shop.

What’s the weather like? It kind of sucked today. Overcast, and around 35

What were you doing an hour ago? Watching an episode of 24 with my kids

How many hours of sleep do you need to function? 5 to function, 6 to be relatively rested, or 9 to be completely rested.

Do you eat breakfast daily? No, unless you count a Diet Dr. Pepper on the road to Denver

What did you do last night? Worked all day from home (sick kid) until 7:30 pm (dropped him off at his mom's around 4), then played BF2 until 10pm

Do you use sarcasm? Only when my mouth is open

Do you sleep on your side/back/stomach? Yes, Yes, No. I change positions a lot. It's probably a good thing I have this really nice king size bed.

Do you watch the news? Yes, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report

Do you have any scars? Yes, mostly on my hands from slicing open fingers, but I do have a few interesting ones. I have a couple scars on my wrist from when I was a kid and we were roasting marshmallows. My friend's caught on fire, and he waved it around to put out the fire. A chunk flew off and landed on my wrist. The other good one is on my forehead at my hairline. When I was a baby I used to pull on electrical cords. Yup, you guess it, I pulled the toaster down onto my head. The sharp corner of the toaster hit me hard. I don't remember it at all. I've just been told the story.

Anyone else wanna steal this?

Trip Approved

2007-02-28T23:35:00.000-07:00

I'll be heading to the bay Area the week of March 12th. Not sure of my schedule while I am there, but it'll be nice to get away from here. It will be especially nice to see some friends.

Looks like Erik is sick again. He had Strep a couple weeks ago. Now it sounds like he might have the Flu. I'll be taking care of him (although not my week) tomorrow and working from home. I hope the new boss is OK with that. It looks as though I wouldn't be driving up tomorrow anyway.

When I left for work this morning the sun was out and it felt relatively warm out. I didn't bother checking the weather report... oops! By the time I got to work an hour and 15 minutes later it was snowing. It continued snowing all day, sometimes hard. Luckily the ground was warm enough that it was melting as soo as it hit the streets. I figured I had to get out of work a little early before the temp dropped enough to freeze the wet stuff to the streets, but then the problems always hit when I'm trying to leave.

I finally got out of there around 3:10. I tried going south via the interstate, but the overhead signs were reporting a multi-car accident about 20 miles south. I got off the highway and hit a small state highway that winds it's way down to Colorado Springs. I made it home much faster than if I would have stayed on the "I". I pulled into the garage 2 hours and 25 minutes later. UGH!

I need some stress relief

2007-02-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to keep up with all of your blogs, but have not been paying much attention to my own. Shame on me.

The last couple weeks have been kind of the same old shit, until yesterday (Monday). Late last week Bob, my boss, invited me and Tim, the DBA manager, to a meeting first thing for Monday morning to discuss organizational changes. We both got a bit paranoid, but we knew there was no way they were getting rid of us. We're the ones trying to fix the problems that they've gotten themselves into.

We speculated that Bob was going to split off another department that I had been suggesting to him for doing software deployment (blah blah blah). Well what really happened was that Bob has moved my department (SCM) and the DBA department under a different director. His name is Dave. This is not a bad move, it's just not expected. There are some good things about this, like we'll have more of Dave's ear than Bob could ever give us. I am not saying Bob was a bad manager, it's just that his department is huge, and we were not the highest priority.

I was in a meeting with Dave just last week where we discussed some of the issues we've been plagued with concerning a bunch of tools that we are implementing. One of the things that will need to be done is a test to get some numbers from other development sites around the country. Since our link between Denver and Des Moines is not up yet we decided that a test needs to be run from our Oakland office to Denver.

I was going to send one of my guys to run these tests, but then another issue with a project we have going in San Francisco came up which needs my attention. We figured I could go out and tackle 2 birds with one stone.

This also gives me a chance to finally meet a couple good blogger friends out there. Chrissie and Terry, you better be ready. I hope to know tomorrow when I will be coming out.

I have been working on a tool customization for months now that I finally got a chance to show off to a small group of people last week. It was received very well. I made a few changes due to comments from the group. On Friday of this week I am showing it to the managers. I am more than a bit nervous about it. It has taken far too long to get this in place. Our VP of engineering expressed her "unhappines" about this taking so long. I informed her back in December that we couldn't go live until we bought a lot more software licenses anyway. In one ear and out the other.

The kids have been sick for a couple weeks now. Strep, then the Flu. Luckily I have yet to be infected (knock on wood). We wanted to go skiing two weekends ago but Kevin's Flu was still keeping him down. This weekend Kevin has a music competition on Saturday and then baseball try-outs on Sunday. I need to ski!!!

This week Kevin had to choose his classes for next year. He is getting really excited about starting high school. It'll wear off, but I am excited for him as well. He is sticking with playing the trumpet. I decided to stop renting a trumpet and just buy him a nice one. Hopefully this one will hold up better. I bought a really nice one. He is also doing really well with his provate drum lessons. I sat in on a few of his lessons recently. I am very impressed.

Kevin has really impressed me this school year with keeping his grades up. I was thrilled that his semester grades for the first semester were all As and Bs. What I was really surprised at was that his grades for second semester are even better so far. I've always know he was smarter than he was showing in his grades. I'm just glad he is now getting his shit together before starting high school.

Erik is still doing well, but struggling with his writing. I am trying to work with him on this, but I have never been much of a writer either. I guess I'm still good enough to help a 3rd grader though.

Erik tries out for Little League a week after Kevin. They are both very excited about this season. Both of them have done a fair job of keeping active over the winter. If Erik keeps growing as fast as he is he'll be thinning out pretty good this summer.

To keep with my ongoing geek-fest of a life I bought myself Windows Vista Ultimate, and Office Ultimate last week. I am holding off with updating my system. At least once a year I do a total purge of my system, but I did some checking and one of my games is not working yet on Vista. So I am waiting on new video drivers to be released before I take the leap.

Happy Blogiversary

2007-02-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

I suppose this is an occasion to celebrate.

I have been lazy when it comes to posting lately. Sometimes I am motivated and post multiple times in a week, but mostly you're lucky to hear from me twice a month.

The real world tends to get in the way a lot. I might feel bad about that, but I can't. I have had a really good year even though I went through a lay off.

Many of the friends I made at my short time at the last company will stay relatively close. We do our geeky gaming sessions which I enjoy so much. I have so many friends now, both in real life and in blog life. I appreciate all, but for some reason I tend to alienate everyone somehow. Mostly due to lack of attention.

I am have a "feeling sorry for myself" spell these days. I guess I am one of those people that will never be completely happy. Depression is setting in. I am thinking that it is due to work stress, but I know there are some other reasons too.

I am coming up on a year with MS. It's been a great year with her... but... (there's always a but) I just don't know where it's going. I am totally freaked out anytime someone says anything about us being serious or getting married. I have been trying to picture being with her for the rest of my life. I can't do it.

Is my depression making me so relationship-phobic?

I am running the risk of lossing some good female friends. I feel like I am pushing my luck with MS by keeping female friends in my life. You see MS has a jealous streak. I have been very honest with her about my friends. Yet I feel like I am doing something wrong when I spend time with them. MS has never said anything about it. It's just a feeling I get that says she doesn't approve.

Maybe some of this is from the intensive brainwashing I got when I was married.

What to do?

2007-02-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

A Valentine

2007-02-11T21:14:00.000-07:00

We're coming up on Valentines Day. The cheesiest day of the year. Why so much focus on a day that we don't get off from work?

Actually, I love what the guys at Despair.com have done here. I bought them a few years back. They were a big hit.

Your Candy Heart Says "Cutie Pie"

You always seem to have a hot date, even though you never try to meet anyone.
A total charmer, you have a natural appeal that keeps you in high demand.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: multiple dates with multiple people

Your flirting style: 100% natural

What turns you off: serious relationship talks

Why you're hot: you're totally addicting

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

More crap you probably don't want to know

2007-02-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

1. HAVE YOU GOTTEN LAID IN 2007? Oh ya

2. EVER HAD SEX IN A PUBLIC PLACE? Yes, and old folks in the theater 2 rows in front of us felt compelled to move

3. EVER LAUGH DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? Yes... some shit is just funny

4. EVER CRY DURING SEX? IF SO WHY? No... but I have screemed

5. DO YOU LIKE TO CUDDLE AFTER SEX? Yes, for a little while (just being honest)

6. EVER REGRET SEX WITH SOMEONE? Yes, especially break up sex

7. EVER FAKED AN ORGASM? Would you believe that I have

8. DIRTY TALK, OR SHUT THE FUCK UP? Yes, but don't go overboard

9. EVER HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX? Frequently, but only with someone I trust. It helps that I have been clipped.

10. EVER MASTURBATE TO YOUR FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Definitely

11. EVER HAVE A ONE NIGHT STAND? Yes

12. EVER HAVE A THREESOME? Yes

13. EVER WATCH PORN DURING SEX? A couple times, but I would rather just enjoy the moment.

14. EVER THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE DURING SEX? Unfortunately I did this a lot when I was married

15. HAS THE CONDOM EVER BROKE? No. In my experience those fuckers are indestructable (not that I was trying to break one)

16. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING SEXUAL EXPERIENCE? In college, getting caught in the changing room with a girl I was not seeing. There was also some pride there :D

17. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU LOST YOUR VIRGINITY? 20

18. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SEX WITH RIGHT NOW? Someone from work. Her last day was yesterday. I am really going to miss her.

19. DO YOU THINK THAT NUMBER 18 IS POSSIBLE? No. I have a girlfriend, and I hear she has a boyfriend

20. ARE YOU HORNY NOW? A little

21. HOW MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS? 19 I think

22. DO YOU LIKE SEX IN THE CAR? Not so much in my car. It's kind of small (but I did have to break it in). Now my truck... YES.... and my quad :P

23. DO YOU STILL TALK TO THE PERSON YOU LOST VIRGINITY TO? No, she turned into a psycho nympho

24. EVER HAVE SEX WITH A RELATIVE/FRIENDS SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Never

25. EVER BEEN WITH A CHEATER? I am divorced

26. TOYS, GOOD OR BAD? All good

27. LINGERIE? Can be fun.

28. EVER SLEEP WITH A CO-WORKER? Yes, a couple

Bonus:

WHERE HAVE YOU HAD SEX-

(x)park
( )church
( )cemetery
( )beach
( )boat
( )school
( )parent’s bed
(x)your bed
(x)car
(x)picnic table
(x)kitchen counter
(x)couch/chair
(x)dining room/kitchen table
(x)woods (open and/or in a tent)
(x)hood of a car
(x)bathroom
(x)shower
(x)the other person’s bed
(x)porch/deck/balcony
( )in a house with parents home
(x)at a party
(x)on top of the washer/dryer
( )with other people in the room
(x)hotel ...THE BEST
( )concert
( )grandparent’s house
(x)field
(x)bleachers

Am I a slut?

Even Better... TMI Tuesday

2007-02-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

TMI TUESDAY
You can play too. http://tmituesday.blogspot.com/

1. Have you ever had sex in a friend's house/apartment/car/whatever... but not with that friend? Does your friend know?
Yes, in their hot tub (no, I didn't leave the floaties). I am not sure if they knew, but they suspected

2. Have you ever sat at your computer naked?
Yes.

3. If you are sure you WOULD get caught, is there anyone (known personally, celebrity, fictional character) you'd cheat with?
Yes, Diane Lane.

4. Have you ever photocopied a body part?
Yes, my face squished on the glass. My first non-fastfood job was running copiers at TRW. My job title: Reproduction Specialist. I was very proud.

5. Just how rigid are your standards: Is there anyone out there (say, a celebrity), that you'd do, just to say you scored? (We aren't talking a dreamy celebrity i.e. Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston; we are talking Mick Jagger, Dick Chenney, or the Queen of England.)
No... I would have to be truely attracted to the woman

6. Have you ever contacted a “lost love” years later?
Yes, but they weren't "lost". Recently this happened by accident.

7. What was the worst thing your parents ever caught you doing? Did you ever do either of those things again?
Egging a house... yes, I did it again

8. What is the shortest period of time you've ever gone between sex with two different sexual partners in separate sessions (that means threesomes don't count unless they are separate threesomes)?
18 hours give or take

9. Besides the usual (lingerie, sexy shoes, etc.), what's the sexiest thing your SO can wear?
A low-cut dress or sweater

10. Have you ever masterbated with a house hold object (other than a sex toy)? If so what?
My hand is all I need. It's my best friend.

Bonus (as in optional): For you girls out there...what size boobs do you have? For you guys, how many inches are you packing?
UGH... ok maybe I shouldn't have done this post... regardless ~6.5"

Two Things

2007-02-06T22:50:00.001-07:00

Jodes did this, and I thought it was a decent one (and not too long) :D

JUST TWO THINGS...

Two Names You Go By
1. Jon
2. Shankbone
(there are a few more)

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. plaid pj bottoms (I don't sleep in them
2. Black boxer briefs

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship
1. Honesty
2. Great sex

Two of Your Favorite Things to do
1. Ride my quad
2. Go to movies

Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment
1. Guidance
2. a lack of stress

Two pets you had/have
1. Boris, the coolest of poodles
2. Pepper, (English Setter) The best hunting dog ever

Two people who will fill this out
1. Your guess is as good as mine
2.

Two things you did last night
1. Watched Heroes
2. Worked until midnight

Two things you ate today
1. Spicey Chicken Sandwich (Wendy's)
2. Orange Chicken (do I eat too much chicken?)

Two people you last talked to
If IM counts...
1. MS
2. M from Arizona

Two Things You're doing tomorrow
1. Working
2. Getting the oil changed in my car

Two longest car rides
1. This past Christmas... Des Moines, IA to Colorado Springs, CO to Lansing, MI
2. Phoenix to Colorado Springs multiple times while in college

Two Favorite Holidays
1. Christmas
2. Halloween (I don't think it counts as an actual holiday, but what the hell)

Two favorite beverages
1. Diet Dr. Pepper
2. Diet Cherry Coke

Okay, you can wake up now

If you could only see...

2007-02-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

OK, I know I posted about this way back when, but I am still geeking out about Heroes.

This show is even cooler than I expected. It is dark and serious at times and funny at others. It's looking like my ex-SIL may be killed next week. I hope not. Her character is kind of goofy, but I think very true to life. I think she loves that dog more than anyone should.

George Takei (yes, that is Sulu) has joined the cast as Hiro's dad. I heard that he was joining when he was on the Howard Stern Show a month or so ago.

I am hoping I don't get Strep. Erik came down with it last week while he was at the ex's. He was only amoxicillin (or whatever they have him on) for half a day before I picked them up. I get Strep at the drop of a hat.

I hope you all had a good weekend.

Missing in Action

2007-01-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, a it's bad Chuck Norris movie, but also describes me as of late.

Has it really been 3 weeks?

WOW!

Work has been as busy as ever. I am having to get my employee reviews done, and 12 to 18 month goals in place. I am still interviewing people for the Oakland job. I wish I could find another perfect candidate. It's looking like I'll need to travel out there before too long to see what is wrong with that place. More trips to Des Moines are going to be needed once our budget gets final approval. That could be any day now, but I am not holding my breath.

My boss and I are discussing splitting up my department into 2. One being Software Configuration management (what I do), and Release Management. If Release Management was as simple as sending a final software product to duplication I would be okay with keeping it, but our Release Management entails being able to deploy programs to web servers internally and for clients.

I have totally geeked out . I have gone way too far on buying new "toys", so for the remainder of the month (yes, I know it ends in 10 minutes) I pledge to not spend any more money.

I have had the same inkjet printer since 1998. A few Sundays ago it was sounding like a hooker on her last trick. I had seen that this sweet little laser printer was on sale the day before, so I headed to Best Buy with my mind set on making it mine. To my surprise it was no longer on sale. I ask them to honor the previous days price, but they would not budge. Knowing that they honor doing comparative pricing I went shopping on-line and found 2 places that had it on sale for the previous day price, and in one case even cheaper. Unfortunately they do not allow comparative pricing from on-line only stores. I threatened to walk and then got them to come most of the way there. So now I have me a rockin' new printer.

I have been playing a new game (well, new to me) called City of Heroes after being pressured by Dan, one of my gaming buddies. It is an RPG (I'm not sure it qualifies as an MMO). The premise is that you are a super hero in this city taken over by thugs and villains. You decide what your name and basic types of powers you will have. I have spent a number of hours getting my hero leveling up.

My hero's name is Blastoid. I must have not been feeling well when coming up with that name. Now it sounds like a pseudonym for taking a crap. I have energy powers that kick some pretty good ass. I recently learned how to hover and shoot a bad guy from further away. I kick ass from over head.

My other additions to my geekiness expanded earlier this week when MS took me to a work event of hers this week. She works for a company that had a huge new product release this week. The company name is also abbreviated as MS (it's also her initials, so this is why I call her that). This "release party" was held at a CompUSA in south Denver Monday night from 10 p.m to 2 a.m. They had some great deals going on. One I passed on that I am regretting, but I couldn't pass up on the 250GB external hard drive for $80. That was just too good to pass on.

As we were waiting around for some give aways to happen after midnight we were hanging out in one of the less busier aisles. I was thinking about buying one of these recently, and there I saw the deal I could not afford to miss. They had dual tuner TiVos for approx $70 after a $180 rebate. I made sure I could use it with Dish Network programming, then loaded it up. I bought a wireless adapter to go with it, but for some reason I can't get that working yet.

OK, enough about me spending too much fucking money.

The kids are doing great. Kevin got excellent grades again (3 As and 3 Bs) without having to threaten him again. His days of bringing his grades out of the cellar are done it seems. Erik needs more reading and math help, but so I have been trying to work with him closer.

Recently an ex-girlfriend had made contact with me. This is one that I was very sad to lose, and I have lost her more than once before. She calls me out of the blue every so often for computer help, but this time it was not for that. She is also the one I recently had an intense sex dream about. She had said that she is sorry for the way things had turned out between us, and was laying it on thick trying to prompt me for a reunion.

This is a woman that I have a on again, off again history with. Whenever she contacts me it causes extreme butterflies in my stomach. I knew that I needed to tell her I was seeing someone, but it took me a number of days to get the courage up to send her an e-mail. There was no way I could call her back. I would have been a babbling idiot.

She replied a few days later (she doesn't get on the computer on a daily basis like most of us do). She was totally understanding, and not wanting to get in the way. She told me that no matter what she would always be my friend. We e-mailed back and forth last week just catching each other up on what is going on with various aspects of our lives.

This has my head all messed up.

Echo... stop rolling your eyes.

PS - Thanks to all of you for your concerns or curiosity about my absence. It's good to know that I am missed.

Freakin iPod Meme, but I do love to meme about music

2007-01-07T22:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you Terry...

Ok, first off, if you don't know already, I DO NOT have an iPud. I have an MP3 player. I refuse to use a piece of hardware that uses proprietary hardware and software (except the Xbox 360, and that is mostly just for the kids... mostly). I have a Creative Labs Zen Xtra 40GB MP3 player... Yes, 40 Giga-fucking-bytes.

Sure there are now iPuds out there with 80 GB, but when I got this sucker the only thing Apple was offering was 20GB, and guess what... mine was WAY cheaper. To actually get all of my MP3s onto a device I would need about 50GB, but there are some things that I don't listen to that much. But regardless I ripped all of my CDs into MP3s.

So after much ranting, here goes the meme...

Okay, on to to the meme...
Here's the deal: 1. Open your library on your iPod. 2. Put it on Shuffle. 3. Press Play. 4. For every question, type the song that's playing. 5. When you go to a new question press the Next button. Nat interprets this as something about the story of your life, so I'll go with that.

Opening Credits: "Maybe Angels", Sheryl Crow. This means I am either an angel or an alien. You choose.

Waking Up: "Saint Joe on the School Bus", Marcy Playground. Ok, that's just creepy.

Falling In Love: "I Wouldn't Dream of It", Split Enz. That is so fitting it made me laugh my ass off. "I'm not a prince in a fairytale, looking for a foot that fits"

Fight Song: "Goin' Through Your Purse", Material Issue. That would definitely deserve a fight.

Breakup Song: "Everything's Ruined", Fountains of Wayne. I couldn't have put it better myself.

Making Up Song: "We Are The Normal", Goo Goo Dolls. Is making up is normal? "We live and we die, with no reason why"

Life's Okay Song: "Build God, Then We'll Talk", Panic! At The Disco. "there are no raindrops on roses or girls in white dresses", Such a happy song... NOT

Mental Breakdown: "Private Idaho", The B-52's. I think some friends of mine in high school thought I was having a mental breakdown when I was listening to these guys. Little did they know that I was just fucking cool.

Driving: "Get To Me", Train. Perfect...
" Well an airplane’s faster than a Cadillac
And a whole lot smoother than a camel’s back
But I don’t care how you get to me
Just get to me
Parasail or first class mail
Get on the back of a Nightingale
Just get to me I don’t care just get to me
Prokeds, mopeds take a limousine instead
They ain’t cheap but they’re easy to find
Get on the highway point yourself my way
Take a roller coaster that comes in sideways
Just get to me"

Flashbacks: "Girls...", Marshall Crenshaw. Hard to believe, but I taught myself to dance while cleaning my first apartment while in college listening to this song, and every other song on this album. I guess this would also work for the next one, but I'll do this right.

Happy Dance: "Rock You Up", The Romantics. Maybe I should have switched the last answer and this one. One of my favorite 80s rock bands. I went to many Romantics concerts. We did a happy dance whenever we heard they were coming to Colorado.

Regret: "Shiny Magazine", Jet. The song is a little fitting, but the word makes me think of a voice mail that was left for me today. My head is not on straight.

Final Battle: "Not Where It's At", Del Amitri.

I don't have my finger on the pulse of my generation
I just got my hand on my heart, I know no better location
...
Yeah, she don't want me 'cos I'm not where it's at

Death Scene: "I Walk Alone", Oleander. Holy shit, I hope not.

Final Credits: "Through Being Cool", Devo. I'm done

Just like Terry said, consider yourself tagged, if you want to be!